Emotional Healing And Emotional Health
We’ve been taught and conditioned from a very early age to believe emotions are bad and wrong and we shouldn’t even have them. Emotions are the enemy, we’ve been taught. This conditioning is so powerful, and so pervasive, it’s hard to even see it.
It goes unspoken. It’s an accepted ‘truth’.
But here’s a higher truth:
Life is an emotional experience.
Life is about your emotions. Nothing holds greater importance than how you feel. Sadly, we often don’t come to this realization until we’re on the low end of the emotional spectrum.
Here’s What’s Going On
Your heart is the seat of your consciousness. But in today’s society, we’re taught to believe our minds are in charge. It’s all about the mind. From an early age, we’re taught that we should feel with our mind, while our heart has little or no value.
We try to think our way out of feeling. We learn to ‘manage’ our feelings. We try to control them – manipulate them – stuff them down or repress them. Anything but simply feel them!
Your heart longs to feel. But we learn at an early age we’re not supposed to feel.
“Big boys don’t cry.”
“Good little girls don’t get angry.”
“Don’t be afraid.”
We end up stuffing down our true feelings so we can fit in. We want to belong. And since everybody else is manipulating their feelings, we start doing it too.
But pain is caused by -
1. A separation from,
2. And a longing for, some thing.
When you’re separate from something you long for, it creates pain. When you manipulate or attempt to control your emotions in some way, so that the feelings are not able to be felt by your heart, it will create emotional pain.
Emotional pain is a natural and ever-present by-product of trying to manage your emotions.
Emotional pain is a message – a warning – that your relationship with your emotions is faulty. When you ignore that message, the pain increases. It really is that simple. That’s why it can be downright dangerous to listen to the advice you hear from most people when it comes to emotional healing. Because they almost always are trying to get you to manage your emotions as a way to reduce the emotional pain. And that never works. It never has and it never will. It can’t.
The more you try to manage your emotions, the worse you’re going to feel.
Why You Need Emotional Healing
Emotional healing helps you return to your natural way of feeling.
You did not come into this world to suffer, no matter what you’ve been taught to the contrary. Life is not about suffering and struggling and enduring pain. Rather, it’s about meeting our needs, so we can reach and stretch and grow.
Almost from the day we were born, we’ve been fed erroneous and misleading information from well-meaning people who were only trying to help.
“I’m only telling you this for your own good….”
And they really believed what they were saying. Beliefs get pounded into our heads about emotions that are simply not true. But we come to accept them as the Gospel Truth because we don’t know any better. And everywhere you turn, the message gets reinforced. Everywhere in society – everybody ‘knows’ that emotions are the source of all your problems.
It becomes hard to even talk about emotions without someone thinking there must be something wrong with you.
Emotional healing gets shoved way down on the ‘to-do’ list of living life. Only when the problem becomes severe, and we’re forced to focus on it, do we start searching for solutions.
So why do you need emotional healing?
Because you did not come here to be in pain. Life is too short to suffer. You came here to change things – to rise about the erroneous beliefs of society. You were born for a reason; it’s not chance or dumb luck that got you here. There is a greater plan.
Look, we live in a very dysfunctional society. But because it’s all we know, it’s hard to see how unnatural it really is. Dysfunction and pain become ‘normal’. Not because they really are, but because it’s all we know.
It’s not your emotions that need healing – rather it’s the erroneous beliefs and attitudes we carry around with us like concrete blocks – that’s what needs healing.
Your emotions are fine. They don’t cause pain. Emotions never cause pain. Blocking your emotions always causes pain. Managing your emotions causes pain. Attempting to control your emotions causes pain.
So it’s not really ‘emotional healing’ as much as it is ‘belief and attitude healing’. Then, you can return to your natural way of feeling.
What Is Emotional Health?
Let me hold up my own life experience as an example of emotional health.
I get angry. I get scared and lonely. I get hurt. I get sad, even a little depressed sometimes. But it never lasts! I could even feel despair, but it wouldn’t last more than a minute or two. (Well, okay, maybe an hour!) Why?
Because I’ve learned I have an ‘emotional wellspring’ deep inside me. There’s a flow of emotion that comes into me. It comes from God, as far as I can tell. This flow of emotion is a gift.
It’s a gift to be able to feel!
Emotions are a gift from God, in my opinion. Once I really let that in, my life started to change for the better.
I am connected to this flow. It’s always ‘on’. The flow is always coming into me. And it’s meant to flow through me. When I block or impede that flow in any way, it’s going to create problems. Guaranteed.
Emotions are too powerful to be contained. They carry too much energy and power. You’re playing with dynamite when you attempt to control them.
Emotions connect you to divine energy.
When you’re in a state of emotional health, you allow yourself to feel whatever comes up. You are willing to feel all your feelings. Now, here’s the problem:
We try to feel with our head instead of feeling with our heart.
I dare say most people have not felt a true feeling since they were small children. Most people don’t know what true, unadulterated feelings are. Instead, they only know ‘managed’ feelings.
They’ve encapsulated their feelings with their thoughts. And that’s playing with dynamite. That’s not emotional health!
Emotional health comes from embracing a whole new mindset about your emotions. It comes from accepting the flow that’s always on. It comes from letting emotions flow right through you. Surrendering to the flow, without submitting to it.
Emotional healing comes from having the courage to rebel against the lies you’ve been taught your whole life about what it means to have feelings. It comes from allowing yourself to question your own beliefs and assumptions about life and living and what it means to feel.
Ending emotional pain starts with choice. It starts with choosing to start allowing yourself to feel – without telling yourself stories about what those feelings mean. It starts with a willingness to feel all your feelings.
The more you can just let yourself feel the true, unadulterated feelings, the more emotional healing you’ll experience in your life. So how do you do that, exactly? Lot’s of baby steps; lots of small realizations; lots of allowing yourself to open up to what’s really going on.
It won’t happen in a weekend. But it can start right this minute. It starts with being willing to open to the possibility that maybe – just maybe – everything I know about my emotions, I learned from other people. And no matter how well-meaning they may have been, they were wrong.
Look, separating your thoughts from your feelings, so you can learn how to feel again, is going to take some time and practice. But I’m living proof it can happen. You can be as happy as you want, if you’re also willing to feel as sad as you are. When you’re willing to feel all your feelings, that opens you up to feeling whatever you want to feel.
Willingness to feel it all leads to feeling what you want.
No sounder advice could be given to someone who’s ready for true emotional healing. It’s at least worth pondering. Hopefully, it stirs up some confusion. Because the one who’s never confused is the one who never grows.
Something to think and feel about…
I may amend or change this page at any time, so check back often!
Please feel free to leave your comments below.
all the best,