Advice For The Lovesick

by Mark Ivar Myhre on March 9, 2007

.
Ever longed to be with another person who didn’t want
anything to do with you?

Or longed to be with someone you just couldn’t be with –
for one reason or another? Maybe they moved. Maybe
they died. Maybe they’re with someone else.

No matter the details it hurts like hell. It rips you apart.

Well, I’m no expert on relationships, but I do have some
advice for the lovesick or brokenhearted person going
through a painful separation.

If you feel you could die because you’re not able to be
with the one you love, here’s the first thing to keep in
mind:

You’re trying to find love from an outside source. And
that will never happen.



Even when you ARE with the one you love, and everything
feels wonderful, that ‘rejoicing in the presence’ you feel
is coming from INSIDE YOU.

That other person only brought to the surface what was
ALWAYS inside your own heart.

Nobody can make you feel love. You can only allow
yourself to feel some of the love that’s already inside
yourself.

I’ll admit it can be easier to feel love when you’re around
the one you love – but it’s certainly not necessary.

When you’re with the other person – or thinking of the
other person; whatever – you are ALLOWING yourself
to feel YOUR love.

Very rarely does anyone actually feel the love of another.
It takes a lot of empathy; a lot of strength and personal
power. You really have to be in touch with yourself.

You must first be in touch with your own love before you
are even capable of feeling the love of another.

I know it doesn’t seem that way. It seems like the other
person is the source of the love you feel.



But I’m here to tell you that never happens.

They are the OBJECT of YOUR love.

Big difference between an object and a source.

ALL emotions are sourced inside of you. They bubble
up from a wellspring deep within.

When you’re immersed in love – or as you think back
to a time when you were – it seems hard to believe that
much love could be inside you.

It *must* come from the other person!

“I don’t have that depth of love.”

I say you do. I say no matter how powerful the love you
felt – how overwhelming it seemed – you’ve got much,
much more still waiting inside you.

When you’re pining for another – and it HURTS – then it’s
time to change your focus. They were never the source
of your love anyway.

Feelings of neediness create more neediness.

As you realize your love comes from inside – and it’s
truly endless – you’ll be much more likely to recapture
the heart of the other person. (Or find a replacement!)

The more you turn inward for love, the more likely you’ll
be to end up sharing your love with another.

The more needy you become; the more likely you’ll be
alone.

It starts (but certainly doesn’t end!) with acknowledging
YOUR love comes from within YOU.



If you’re feeling lovesick or brokenhearted, the first step
is to change your focus FROM the other person and
ONTO the endless wellspring of love that lies within you.

And to change your focus, it starts with being WILLING
to change your focus.

More to come…

(like why it’s so PAINFUL…!)

{ 1 comment }

Anonymous March 15, 2007 at 6:15 pm

So, you create the love within yourself, the one you used to be with just helped bring it out, and now that they are no longer part of the picture, you have to find a way to help bring it out of yourself on your own?

It's sort of an expansion on the concept that you can't love another until you love yourself.

Makes sense, and your analogy helps. Thank you!

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