The Map to Misery

by Mark Ivar Myhre on March 9, 2007

Sick of being so successful? Tired of living the charmed, easy life?
I’ve got your answer right here –

“How To Screw Up A Lifetime in Seven Easy Steps”

Battle-tested, these seven steps have enabled me to righteously blame others and avoid responsibility for decades! They work wonders. But you can’t just read them – you must get out there and DO them!

1. Get born into semi-painful circumstances. (How hard can that be?)

2. Pretend things are much worse than they really are. (How could you not?)

3. Blame all your problems on outside forces. (Like falling off a log!)

4. Refuse to be responsible for anything in your life. (Seems logical….)

5. Snowball the misery – get more and more off-course. (If you’ve been following along, this step is super-easy.)

6. Keep lying to yourself. (Okay.)

7. Create a nightmare scenario you can’t get out of. (OUCH! I didn’t know we were playing for keeps!)

Seriously –

That’s how I did it. I ended up painting myself into a corner. Trembling with fear. Smothering in depression. Seething with rage. And wallowing in pity.

It was all fun and games at first. Until the nightmare hit. Then things got deadly serious.

Finally I had to take the messy way out – sloshing through a whole bunch of my own garbage.

Sometimes there are no easy choices.

What do you do then? When life is closing in, and everything seems overwhelming, and it’s all getting TOO PAINFUL…

You have to use the most feared word in the English language:


More than use it, you have to start living it.

Consciously start taking responsibility for anything you can.

See, you’re already taking responsibility. No one can avoid it. Most people try. But you WILL be held accountable for everything you say and do and think and feel.

I’m not referring to the Biblical sense, or the karmic sense. I’m talking simple physics.

It’s impossible to not be responsible. You can only postpone the inevitable for so long. It’s like trying to damn up a river. Eventually the water will find a way to flow.

Many people have taken THE PATH OF PAIN as a way to be responsible.

Better to work with the river instead of against it.

Where do you suppose is the most important place to start taking conscious responsibility?

I’d say it starts with your thoughts and feelings.

For example:

Nobody’s ‘making’ you angry. That’s an impossible situation.

If you ‘won’t’ be responsible for your anger, then you can expect it to continue.

Own it and you can release it. Blame it on someone or something else, and it will grow stronger and feel more painful.

Also, the world is not making you scared. Overwhelming fear does NOT exist because of ANYTHING in this world. Again, that’s impossible.

Water doesn’t flow upstream.

Everything you see that’s making you scared came from the fear story you created inside your own head.

Give your fear story enough energy and you CAN make it come alive.

Neutralize it now, and you can live a much happier life.

You can make fear an ally instead of keeping it an enemy.


Anonymous March 22, 2007 at 8:44 pm

If a tiger, preferably sabre-toothed, suddenly leaps at you (gradually leaping isn't possible), then a powerful impulse shoots from the amygdala to the eo-cortex (I think), fast-tracked ahead of the thought, "der a tiger is leaping at me" so evasive action is as quick as possible, along with overwhelming fear. Did you create that fear all by yourself! Didn't the tigger have a tiny part to play?

It seems anger is our response to perceived injustice against ourself or others. You or the others must also feel fairly powerless. Do we become angry to give us the strength and power to overcome the feeling of helplessness. Also doesn't the original perpetrator of the injustice have at least a part to play in my anger. If we take the current holistic view of universal interconnectedness, then all involved in the situation make the anger happen. However as it is not a response, the original injustice may belong far more to the perpetrator than anyone caught downstream

ivar March 23, 2007 at 1:41 pm

Concerning the tiger – you created the tiger in the first place. (And yes, that is real fear!) If it were another person instead of a tiger, I would call it 'overlapping realities' between you and that other person. So, you both would have created it.

Since it's an animal, I'm not sure what to call it.

You overcome helplessness by intensely feeling the helplessness, without any anger or story attached, and then let go of those feelings of helplessness.

(I realize many don't believe that.)

The original perpetrator certainly has a part to play.

Overlapping realities between the two of you.

(But why did the perpetrator come to you instead of someone else?)

All involved may make the situation
happen – but only YOU made your anger happen.

For example, you could feel hurt or pity or many other things.

Generally, there are seven different 'root' emotions that people use to explain what happens to them.

Anger, fear, loneliness, pity, hurt, shame, and rage (or powerlessness – since they're so closely related).

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