How To Understand

by Mark Ivar Myhre on May 15, 2007

Perplexed?  Confused?  Need to figure out what is going on in your life?

How To Understand Any Problem or Situation

To more fully understand a situation, get out paper and pen and follow these seven steps:

1. State the facts. JUST the facts.  Write them down on a piece of paper.  Be sure to not embellish what you write.  State ONLY objective facts.

“Here’s what actually happened…”

2. Interpret those facts. NOW add your own embellishment.  Now think about how the facts affect you.  Add your present understanding to the
facts you wrote down.

“Here’s what I think about it…”

3. Discern those facts. Now look for the hidden meaning behind the facts and behind your interpretation of the facts.  What’s hidden?  What’s the contrast?

“Oh, yeah, now I see a little deeper…”

4. Make conclusions from everything you’ve worked on up till now.  Form assessments and positive judgments from the facts and the interpretation and the discernment of those facts.  Positive judgments hold things together and make them solid.

“So here’s what I think all this means…”

5. Inference of the conclusion. What do you infer from what you’ve concluded?  Add the thoughts and feelings that are not represented by the    facts.  In other words, what do you think, and how do you feel, about your conclusions?

“Well, from my conclusions, I now add these thoughts and feelings…”

6. Appreciation of the facts. Now look to sense the beauty, the wonder, the sacred, the love – in the conclusions you’ve drawn from what you’re trying to understand.

“Okay, now I’m looking at this from a higher perspective, and I see the big picture and how everything fits together in a wonderful sort of way…”

7. Finding the value. Finally, look back to your conclusions, your inference, your appreciation – to find the meaning and significance; the value; in this situation.  What have you learned?  What have you gained?

“Oh my gosh!  So THIS is why I created this situation, to learn THESE lessons! Wow, that’s valuable…”

I realize that sounds like a lot – but once you get started, and once you’ve done it a time or two, you’ll see how easily you can move from one step to the

Plus, you really will understand it a lot better!

Just go through and write each step down. Spend a little time on each one. Generally, I’ll tend to write the most on the first step, and maybe a paragraph or a few sentences for some of the other ones.

Just write as much as seems appropriate for each step.

(I learned these seven steps from Lazaris.)


Amanda Evans May 15, 2007 at 7:56 pm

Hi Mark
your work including how to understand is very helpful. You make all topics so easy to approach and understand. This gives me the encouragement and confidence to work with my emotions, so I can let go and enjoy me being in my life right now.
I truely appreaciate and I am thankful of your endeavors.
Best Regards
Amanda Evans
Sydney, Australia.

Jane November 29, 2009 at 11:47 am

Hey Mark…. I’m having problems and always had problems with this…having people to come to my house….I never invite people to my house…I want to but something wont let me ….inside of me…right now I would like to invite a Pastor over but or no some thing wont let me…even to go out to dinner with the Pastor and family is diffcult…if soimebody would invite me that would be okay but for me to invite peole to come over or go out to eat is very hard to do for me…. I do have rejection problems but what program should i use to hel;p me thrpugh my diffculties like this… My whole life has been this way. I would love to have friend but this stops me everytime…

Sincerely Jane

ivar December 1, 2009 at 11:00 pm

Hi Jane,

as far as programs go, the only one I even know anything about is my own –
How To Reduce Fear, Escape Anxiety, & End Panic.

You say you’ve been this way your whole life, well I would guess that you
weren’t born this way – so it most likely was an event – or more likely – a
series of events early in life that crippled your confidence and led you to the way you are today.

I would say that for best results you would want private, personal consultations
to root out and eliminate those hidden causes which probably started in
early childhood.

It’s not impossible. I did it myself. I had pretty intense fears not too long ago.
And I started feeling them at an early age. I too had very few friends.

It was a crippling fear. But I was able to completely end it.

I’m working on a solution right now that may help, and I’ll be sending out a message to everyone on my mailing lists tomorrow.

all the best,


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