I Hate Anxiety

by Mark Ivar Myhre on May 21, 2007

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I hate anxiety.

I don’t care what you say, I hate it. Lucky for me I’ve hardly felt it in four years. I’ve had my share of fear. But almost no anxiety.

I don’t mind fear. But I hate that nebulous, vague, hazy feeling:

“Something’s gonna happen. I know it. I just don’t know what it is, where it’s coming from, when it’s gonna hit. But it will. I know it.  Cause I’m feeling so anxious.”

Yuck!

At least with fear I know what’s coming. Or I should know, if I’m paying attention. And I can deal with it.  But anxiety’s different, isn’t it?

By it’s very nature, it’s a painful foggy prickly feeling. You can’t grab it, but it sure can grab you. It’s not fair.  Anxiety seems so unfair. And it’s so unknown.

Even when you know <a href=”http://www. join-the-fun.com/anxiety.html“>the causes of anxiety</a> you’re still a long way from ending it. And once it’s got a hold of you, it usually doesn’t let go.  Its natural tendency is to grow stronger and speak louder.

“Hey! You can’t ignore me!”

Anxiety has a message for you:

“You Need To Learn Greater Mastery And Skill”

If you know the focus of your anxiety, that’s where you need the greater mastery and skill.



Take public speaking as an example. “I’ve got a speech to
give and I’m really anxious about it.”

Well, become a better speaker and watch that anxiety
lessen.

If you *don’t* have a focus for your anxiety; meaning it’s
the so-called ‘generalized anxiety disorder’; then you may
need greater mastery and skill in dealing with your
emotions. (Which also includes the emotion of anxiety,
conveniently enough!)

Probably the main cause of anxiety comes from not expressing
your emotions.

Stuff that anger, and you might end up with anxiety.
Unexpressed anger can end up in a lot of different places;
anxiety is one of those places.

Likewise, if you stuff your pity or your feelings of
victimhood, it could end up as anxiety. Cause we all know
we’re not ‘supposed’ to feel pity.

So what do we do? We can end up on a battlefield where we
keep fighting to *not* feel our pity. Keep trying to hide it
rather than feeling it and letting it go. And end up with
anxiety.

All feelings end up somewhere if you don’t feel them cleanly
and release them completely. Some of ’em end up as anxiety.

If you want to get rid of your pity, why not try flushing it
out? Worked for me.

join-the-fun.com/self-pity.html

Anxiety is what I call a ‘secondary emotion’ because it
seems to be a byproduct of some other emotion.

So what emotion starts most anxiety?

I’d say by far the number one cause of anxiety is from
shame.

Shame – the abuse inflicted onto you. First by another
person, and then by you. Cause if someone else starts the
abuse, and then they leave; you’ll often continue what they
started. The shame becomes internalized.

“I’m so stupid.”

“What’s wrong with me?”

“I’ll never be good enough.”

Shame is a complicated mess. If you feel it, then basically
someone got you to carry their dirty smelly rotten burlap
bag of shame. They thought they could get rid of their own
shame by dumping it onto you.

Which never works. You end up with a bunch of anger and
blame and worthlessness that’s not even yours. No wonder you
feel anxiety!

You carry someone else’s burden and it makes you feel flawed
and defective. And then they still have all their own shame.
They couldn’t get rid of it; they could only spread it
around. Now you both feel shame.

“Something’s wrong” because “I’m wrong”.

That’s the anxiety caused by shame.



So what’s the answer? You could start by reading up on
shame. John Bradshaw is a pioneer on the subject. He’s got
some books to help you start working with it. But even if
you successfully deal with your shame, that still won’t end
the anxiety. They’re two separate problems. Even though they
so often overlap, you can’t end one by ending the other.

Working With Anxiety

Here’s how I was able to escape my anxiety once and for
all:

1. I reduced my current level of anxiety.

Sometimes I would literally ‘run in place’ to try to get rid
of my anxiety. It helped a little.

I also tried EFT, or ‘tapping’. But I had better results
with the running. (You could try tapping yourself all over
your body instead of the few spots recommended by EFT for
anxiety. I wrote an article about it last December.)


emotional-times.com/2006/12/heres-what-i-do-every-morning.html

In the e-book, How To Reduce Fear, Escape Anxiety and End
Panic, I explain a few other more-effective ways I’ve found
to reduce the amount of anxiety you’re feeling RIGHT NOW.
Keep in mind they can only help temporarily; they aren’t
designed to be permanent solutions.

And as a last resort, you could always get out your trusty
ol’ pen and paper and start writing as fast as you can about
what you’re feeling. ‘Processing your thoughts and
feelings’. To this day, I still do it on a regular basis.
Even when I’m feeling wonderful!

2. I stopped creating more anxiety.

I’ve spent most of my life thinking about my feelings rather
than feeling my feelings. Making up stories about them…

Fear stories. Anger stories. Pity stories. Stories of blame
and righteousness, frustration, martyrhood, nobility,
cynicism, and so forth. Stories I wanted to pretend were
true.

I ended up stuffing my true feelings rather than just
feeling them. One of the many problems with this is that it
creates anxiety.

Once you start feeling your true feelings, and then
releasing them, you’ll find that in itself will reduce your
anxiety levels. The trick is to find your REAL feelings and
step back from your made-up feelings.

Here’s two clues to whether or not you’re feeling your true
feelings or not:

First, do you seem to be stuck in the same old thoughts and
feelings without being able to change? Generally, that means
you’ve surrounded your true feelings with some made-up
stuff.

Always look for what’s real. For example, blame and
righteousness are not real. You can blame for the rest of
your life, and it will never move you one inch forward.
You’ll be spinning your wheels forever.

Same with righteousness. “I have the right to be angry after
what they did!”

Sure you do. You have the right to do whatever you want in
that head of yours. But until you remove the slick coating
of righteousness from around your anger you’ll never even
TOUCH your anger.

And part of the price you pay is anxiety.

If you’re spinning your wheels and can’t get any traction
then you’re not in touch with your true feelings. Look
BEYOND the slick veneer. Move past the need to blame and the
need to be right. (As two examples.)

Here’s another clue:

Can you feel without thinking? Can you JUST feel? Feel
without telling yourself ANYthing about what you’re
feeling?

If so, you’re most likely in touch with your true feelings.
But if you have the need to justify or rationalize or
explain what you feel, that’s a good sign you’re not in
touch.

3. I found and ended the heart of my anxiety.

At the very center of all the anxiety you’ve ever felt, and
ever will feel, there’s an energy I call the ‘heart’ of your
anxiety.

If you find and remove this energy, then it will be MUCH
easier to escape anxiety for good; just like I did. You’ll
think it’s a miracle. Maybe it is, I don’t know. I just know
it works.

So what is the heart of your anxiety?

It’s the event that happened the very first time you ever
felt anxiety. It’s your ‘first anxiety’. All the other
anxieties you’ve ever felt are an extension of your first
anxiety. All other anxieties are built on the foundation of
your first anxiety.

Remove the foundation of your first anxiety and you can
watch the whole structure of your lifetime of anxiety wobble
and become weak.

Once you’ve handled your first anxiety, everything else
seems to fall into place. The power – the energy – that
anxiety holds in your life will just fade away. You’ll still
need to go through the motions; cleaning up the mess that
anxiety’s left; but it won’t be that hard.

You’ll know what to do.



So how do you find your first anxiety? And how do you take
back it’s energy?

Well, you could start by thinking back to your childhood.
Your anxiety began sometime after your conscious mind
developed; which is generally about the age of five or six.
You did not feel anxiety before this time.

You might have felt a lot of fear, but no anxiety. Fear can
start the day you were born, if not before. You did not feel
anxiety, however, until after your conscious mind took over
the responsibility of living your life from your
subconscious mind.

Anyway, if you find that first anxiety, then you can go back
and release it’s energy.

I’ve outlined how to do that in the e-book on reducing fear,
escaping anxiety and ending panic:

reduce-fear.com

And I’m also putting together two audio files on the topic.
The first one explains more about the whole situation and
how to find that first anxiety. The second one takes you to
your first anxiety and guides you to releasing and freeing
yourself from the energy that’s currently locked in place.

Anyone who’s ordered the e-book will be given a copy of
these audio files at no cost. If you’re interested in
getting a copy of these audio files, then make sure you
order your copy of the e-book in the next day or so.

Of course, you can do it on your own, also. I’ve said enough
about the process that you can probably figure the rest out
on your own, if you wish.

But the audio files will make it a lot easier. They’ll also
be different than any other files I’ve done up till now.
Because the sound quality will be much better. I’m excited
about it!

Plus, if you order the e-book, you’ll also get complete
instructions on ending panic and reducing fear. Because
fear, panic and anxiety each require their own unique
approach.

You’ll understand more when you read the e-book.

reduce-fear.com

{ 2 comments }

TMI May 22, 2007 at 7:53 am

You rock.

Thanks for reading my blog!

I have been reading your posts for a long time and they have been very helpful. You have some great ideas and advice. It's also great to know I'm not alone 🙂

Anonymous May 30, 2008 at 1:06 pm

I recently have had a series of terrible panic attacks (daily for three months), and have gone on SSRIs. However, I tried accupuncture and that helped, but only as a temporary relief. Meditation, music, exercise are the best cures.

However, i still have general anxiety…this was all substance induced (the attacks started after a bad experience with hash oil).

I just read your advice to journey through your childhood and release negative energy of your first anxiety. I wrote and saved hte document and it helped a lot: I felt great relief. Thank you for your awareness and sympathy, also your great advice.

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