Feeling Better Now

by Mark Ivar Myhre on June 7, 2007

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Feeling better involves taking a series of steps. But a common problem I’ve had – and I’ve seen in many others – is they just want the success (whatever it is) without having to take the steps to get there. I call it the ‘visualize winning the lottery’ syndrome.

“I don’t want to succeed – I just want the success.” This mindset is universal and has been highly exploited by many advertising and marketing people.

“Get Rich Without Working!!”

“Lose Weight While You Sleep!!”



Lot of appeal in those statements, isn’t there? I’ve fallen for those lines a few times myself. But let me tell you a simple and profound truth:

The steps to getting there, are the qualities of being there.

And the qualities of being there are the steps to getting there.

Succeeding = the steps to getting there.

Success = the qualities of being there.

The secret – if there is one – is to fall in love with the process of succeeding.

Any success, large or small, involves a series of steps that could be viewed as a process. You start at the beginning – step by step – until you reach the conclusion. Then you either repeat the process or you move on to other successes and other processes.

Let’s look at the particular success of feeling better. To feel good – to feel good about yourself and your life – to feel emotional contentment – involves a series of steps. It’s a process.

It starts with an awareness of your current situation. Not in a judgmental, condemning way, but from a more objective, realistic viewpoint. Find the realness of your situation without interpreting that realness.



For example, I might be in pain. To me, that’s real. But then I may also blame my pain on someone or something else. That’s not real, and will prevent me from moving forward.

Find the realness. State the facts. With no taint, no twist of interpretation. Step one. Know where you are with as much clarity as possible. Most people will never get past this first step because of an arrogant refusal to see the reality of their situation.

They’d rather say “I can’t!”

But if you want to succeed – if you want the success of feeling better – you MUST find the realness. It’s one of the steps to feeling better, and it’s also one of the qualities of being there – of actually feeling better.

I want to carry my blame with me, all the way to the end of the process, but it will never happen. Instead, I need to find the realness.

I have to get to the point where I prefer to be real, as opposed to blaming (or whatever else may be standing in the way of my realness).

Clarity – awareness – crystal-clear perception of my current situation – is the first step to feeling better. It’s also one of the qualities of a person who lives a life of feeling good. Often times, we want to just feel good, but we don’t want to take the steps of getting to that point of feeling good.

So what’s the answer? Well, first of all, just be aware of this trap.

Take a small step forward; maybe flirt with the idea of realness – try it on like a new pair of shoes. Love and accept yourself for NOT being real up till now.



I want to feel better. But I’m stuck in blame or pity or whatever.

What will keep you moving forward?

Willingness. I might not be willing to let go of my pity. I might not be willing to even look at it in an honest manner. But I can be willing to someday be willing. I can be willing to acknowledge there is a problem.

I can be willing to be willing later on at some point in the future.

Find what you ARE willing to do to succeed. Start there. Find your current level of willingness.

Willingness is totally under your control.

You can have all the willingness you want.

all the best,

Mark

Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Coach
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