Don’t Avoid Negative People

by Mark Ivar Myhre on July 23, 2007

It seems almost a cliché.

“Avoid negative people. Eliminate them from your life! They’ll only bring you down. One bad apple…”

On the surface, it seems like good advice. We all want to feel good. Happy. Successful.

How can you feel good if you’re around someone who’s miserable? Just get away from them! What a simple solution.

Too bad it doesn’t work.

Another cliché – which is much more than a saying – is that “we are all one”. Certainly, we’re all one consciousness. There is no separation of consciousness. Not really. It only seems that way cause we’re living in a duality.

Consciousness is one. With many different expressions.

What really happens when I try to separate myself from an expression of consciousness I don’t like?

Many things. None of them helpful. At the very least, I’m giving my power away.

“I’m not powerful enough to be around this other person. They’re more powerful than me.”

I’m telling my subconscious I’m not powerful. I’m giving away my power. I’m telling my subconscious that so-called ‘negativity’ is more powerful than MY – ahem – so-called ‘goodness’.

You’re automatically making judgments that may or not be true. Is misery really more powerful that goodness? Do I really need to avoid… run-away… separate myself – from ANYthing?

Here’s why the notion of avoiding negative people NEVER works:

You have a certain resonance. A frequency of vibration. Your resonance naturally attracts the people, places, and things that MOST MATCH your resonance.

It’s impossible to ‘avoid’ anything. Either you attract it in your life – by your resonance – or you don’t. Pushing away an unpleasant ‘form’ (someone you’re judging) will simply cause the form to bounce back. Either the same person, or another person with a similar resonance, will soon be back in your life.

The tricky/unknown part:

What is your resonance? And how can you change it so you DO naturally attract into your life those things you say you want? While simultaneously NOT attracting those things you say you DON’T want?

Your resonance is made up of many different components. Most are not easily under your control. For example, the main components of your resonance come from your unconscious mind.

However, there is one easy and effective way to start working on your resonance right now. By working with your thoughts and feelings in a very specific way.

Don’t seek to avoid so-called negative people. It’s much wiser to seek them out. But only if you do it with this one goal in mind. Here’s what you do:

Work with how YOU feel (and what YOU think) when you are around the person you look down upon. If you will truly and honestly look at YOUR emotions – perhaps to process them by writing them down – or simply to feel them cleanly… it’s like a SHORT CUT to changing your resonance.

It can quickly and effectively change YOU.

Here’s the trick: if you don’t cleanly process your emotions, things will stay the same. Same judgments. Same pity. Same frustrations. Etc. Nothing will change. You’ll be on an endless cycle – feeling the exact same feelings over and over.

That’s how you KNOW whether or not you’re processing your emotions cleanly.

Perhaps the easiest way to process: write down those thoughts and feelings that come up when you’re around this ‘lesser’ person. Write them down today. Write them down tomorrow. And the next day.

Even if you don’t believe you can cleanly think and feel, you can ALWAYS take pen to paper. It’s the absolute easiest way to get to the point of cleanly processing your emotions. Which may be the best way to raise your resonance.

Because it allows you to release the trapped emotions that are part of your present resonance. Release the trapped emotions, and YOU change. Instantly.

Then, either the other person will leave… or they will change… or, it simply won’t bother you anymore. And by focusing on what repels you – it’s like taking a short cut to improving YOURSELF.

Otherwise, you can spend the rest of your life trying to push away from what you’re ‘too good’ to experience.

Think about it. You can accelerate your own personal growth by seeking out those people whom you judge. There’s only one consciousness.

They’re only reflecting what you deny in yourself.

Don’t forget to thank them.


Melissa July 22, 2011 at 8:22 pm

WOW. what a different perspective than what I have read on other sites.


Mark Ivar Myhre July 23, 2011 at 6:37 am

well, I try to be different!

actually, I wrote this just to show there’s always another side to a story (or in this case, a truism)

Vania Mihovk June 22, 2012 at 9:11 am

Thank you for every other informative site. The place else may I get that type of info written in such an ideal way? I’ve a project that I am just now working on, and I’ve been on the look out for such information.

mindfuldiary July 6, 2012 at 1:22 am

This post was spot on for me. 🙂 Thank you for helping me to learn about negativity in others and myself. After I read your post, I did learn a huge lesson about my own experience with a negative friend I had. Great site you have. So much to read and learn here. I really like that you use your personal experience to outline points. There are so much perosnality in your posts that these are not just posts about emotional healing but lessons that can be felt in your words. best

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