Your Best Friend

by Mark Ivar Myhre on July 15, 2007

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You know the best thing I got going for myself?

Deep down inside, where it really counts, I love and accept myself. I’m at peace with who I am. Not totally. But enough. I am my own best friend.

Who’s your best friend?

For some, it’s the Marlboro Man. Or Mr. Jim Beam. Or the U.S. Sugar Corporation. Or Hershey’s chocolate.

For others it’s their anger. Or their pity. Or their cynicism. (Which will always be there for them. And they’ll never be cynical of their best friend; their own cynicism.)

Maybe your best friend is your dog. Or your diamonds.

Or maybe you really do have a good buddy you hang out with who’s your best friend. Like the Skipper had Gilligan. Like Thelma had Louise. Like Charlie Brown had Linus. (Cause he sure didn’t have Snoopy!)



And still others would say God is their Best Friend. Which is wonderful, if it’s more than just a saying. Or if you’re of the new-age persuasion, you might say your Higher Self is your best friend.

I’ve had lots of best friends in my life. But at the end of the day, I’m still closest to myself. No matter how tightly I hold the other person at night. Or enjoy football games with another person. No matter how much I love chocolate. No matter how much I love to blame and get righteous and feel sorry for myself…

I’m always closest to myself.

Yes, I have a wonderful relationship with my Creator. That I never talk about. Because it’s beyond words, and very private.

But if I don’t love myself first, I will NEVER allow God’s love or any other love into my heart.

That’s why I’ve chosen to be my own best friend. So that I can have good friends. So I can be good friends with many others. So that I can truly be at peace with myself.

So that I can even be capable of having a loving relationship – whether it’s with another person or my Creator.

So I can forgive myself when I make mistakes. Cause I screwed up yesterday. Big time. And I’m going to screw up tomorrow. Guaranteed. And I’m going to need to forgive myself for that.

So I can accept the fact that yes, I’m a human. And it’s okay to be a human.



You can probably think of various other reasons yourself for why it’s so advantageous to be your own best friend.

But it’s not easy, is it?

Maybe you’ve already tried and failed. A best friend is a commitment. It doesn’t just happen. The Marlboro Man isn’t going to introduce himself by knocking on your door with a six-pack on game day. No. You’ve got to make effort.

You’ve got to sacrifice. You’ve got to get into your car and drive down to the corner store and pull out your money. (And in this example, you may have to sacrifice your life.)

No matter who your best friend is, you’ve got to make effort to keep that relationship alive and thriving. The greater the effort, the greater the reward. Or at least, the greater the impact.

If you want to be your own best friend, it starts with a choice. But it doesn’t end there. That’s the beginning. Not the end. You’ve got work to do. Effort and attention and focus and a shifting of priorities. Like you did with your spouse. Or God. Or chocolate brownies. Or pity. Or blame.

(It only seems like you’re falling off a log when you blame. In reality, you’re making a HUGE sacrifice!)

If you want to be your own best friend, you WILL have to make some sacrifices.

Number one: Pay attention to what you say to yourself all day long.

Would you say that stuff to your best friend? Well, would you? Then why say it to yourself?

See, when another person is your best friend, you don’t usually nag them and put them down every chance you get. You don’t jump down their throat every time they make a simple little mistake.

Instead, you know their faults and you accept them. You love them in spite of their shortcomings.

You might want them to change. You’d probably help them change – but in the meantime you love them just the way they are. That’s what a best friend does.



They see the good.

They see the bad.

They wish for the best.

They hope the other person becomes more.

And all the while they love and accept their best friend.

When you are your own best friend, others want in. To be a part of what you have. It inspires confidence in others. It’s the exact opposite of being a narcissist.

My best friend is an arrogant excitable loud-mouth maniac. Prone to delusion. And I love him anyway.

What’s yours like?

all the best,

Mark

Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Coach
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{ 2 comments }

patricia December 18, 2007 at 9:04 am

Hi Mark,

I really enjoyed your article on self acceptance and would love to know more on how to be your own best friend!

Thanks

Patricia

grouchy53 December 20, 2007 at 8:18 am

Mark, this is ted….i read this and it is difficult to wrap my mind around being my best friend and trying to accept myself…but it makes sense..this was an awesome post…although i feel God plays a bigger part in self acceptances than you do, what you say appears to be right on to me…i must press on, for self-acceptance and self love, after all the Bibles says love others as yourself..thus it even teaches self love..thanks Mark

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