.
It’s easy to tell someone else -
“Just be happy. Just love yourself. Go ahead. Do it!”
But if you’re really hurting, or depressed – if you’re at the ‘low end’ of the emotional scale – it’s probably just going to increase the hurt or the anger or the frustration or the whatever.
The feelings you’re already feeling tend to get amplified when you hear some cocky person (such as myself) tell you to ‘just feel better’.
It will likely make you MORE depressed, if you’re depressed now. It amps up what you’re already feeling, rather than actually helping you.
With that in mind, let me offer a fairly workable solution.
I can remember a time, many, many years ago, when a friend said to me: “Mark, this is the first time I’ve EVER seen you smiling.”
It really stuck with me. I never forgot that statement. And I actually tried to start being happy…
But I couldn’t even FAKE IT! I was that miserable. So little happiness could be found anywhere in my life. Maybe a perverted sense of glee… if I were arguing or dragging someone down to my level. But no lasting happiness.
I tried. I honestly tried to be happy. I just could not make it happen. And if it ever did, it seemed I has no control over how long it would last.
Too bad I didn’t know then, what I’m about to tell you now.
Essentially, it’s a way to climb out of misery. By starting where you are. And by FEELING where you are – and then reaching for a slightly better feeling.
Below you’ll find a list of emotions. Simply start reading the list, and jump in when you get to the way you feel right now.
Stop when you get to the way you feel. And feel that feeling for a minute or two – JUST feel – without doing anything else. It’s harder than it sounds. Cause your mind will try to drag you all over the place, rather than to simply feel the emotion cleanly.
Then, when you’re ready – go to the next one on the list, and feel that one for a minute or so. Keep going down the list. (You might want to write them out or print this page so you’ll know what to do next time some smart-aleck tells you to ‘just feel better’!)
And if it sounds like too much work, take that as a sign – there’s a good indication you may REALLY want to do this! Maybe spend 60 seconds or more FEELING – without thinking or telling yourself a story about what it means to feel it. Then slowly work your way down the list. The key is to keep moving down the list… but not too fast.
Generally speaking, you only need to feel ONE emotion on each line, rather than all of them. For example, you could feel either the hurt, or the humiliation, or the abandonment; rather than all three; before moving to the next level. (Unless you really feel the need…)
Here’s The List Of Emotions:
Hopelessness, Despair, Meaninglessness, Emptiness, Depression,
Powerlessness
Loneliness, Worthlessness, Feeling Hollow
Revenge, Rage, Hate
Blame
Jealousy, Envy
Hurt, Humiliation, Abandonment
Fear, Anxiety, Angst
Anger, Resentment, Bitterness
Pessimism
Guilt, Sadness
Pity, Crisis, Overwhelm, Martyr, Victim
Worry, Doubt, Discouraged
Frustration, Confusion, Aggravation
Boredom, Impatience, Irritation
Well-Being, Peace, Contentment
Optimism
Thrill, Enthusiasm
Hope, Trust
Passion, Compassion, Caring
Happiness, Wonder
Love, Joy, Gratitude, Intimacy
***
Now don’t you feel better? Just a little bit? And you didn’t even have to fake it!
all the best,Mark
Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Wizard
creative-visualization.com
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I cant be bothered to try anymore… the fight has all gone, cant be bothered to make the effort for myself. feel like its the end, all l do is exist for no reason.
Hi Claire,
very sorry to hear it.
if you can’t make the effort for yourself, maybe you can make it for someone else?
Claire, PLEASE DON’T GIVE UP.
I still have awful days when I simply want to cry my heart out, stay in bed and just not try at all When my Mother died my brother was not allowed to hug or touch me because his wife won’t allow him to touch an “unmarried woman” and my brother doesn’t argue with his wife. It left me feeling unbelievably hurt, lost and utterly miserable, in the blackest days I really wanted to end it all. I crawled down to have a chat with the rector who listened, which is what they do fantastically well. He advised me to ‘talk to God” (or The Divine or whoever one believes in) to pour out my heart, discuss my problems. At the end of the day we are all God’s children, we are all unique. In case you might be thinking that I am some sort of religious nut I’m glad to report that I am as “normal” as you and everyone else. The Superior Being (God) does listen, a reply might not come immediately or even for many days but He listens. PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT GIVE UP, there will be better times, it has to come from within, from your heart and Soul which is the most sacred part of your being. With love, Patrina
I thought I was doing better, but every day I say, “what’s wrong with me?” I feel I must think differently than everyone else. I’m going to try neuofeedback so I can try to rid myself of these depressing thoughts.