If you want to learn how to stop obsessive thoughts, the first step involves understanding exactly what’s happening to you right now. It’s like you’re spinning on a hamster wheel. Like a treadmill that just runs in circles without ever getting anywhere.
Why? Because you lack TRACTION. You spin because there’s nothing to grab hold of. I know; it’s obvious. But it’s important to really let it in: you lack traction. That’s why you can’t stop the obsessive thoughts.
Fortunately, you can easily gain the traction you need to end those thoughts. You can end the obsession with unwanted thoughts by following a few simple steps.
Years ago, as I studied the finer points of riding a bicycle, I learned a simple but profound truth: the bicycle usually follows the eyes. The bicycle follows the path I choose to focus on, on the road ahead of me.
If there’s a pothole up ahead, and I keep staring at it; I’m liable to end up riding right through it. Not good. (But since we tend to shift our gaze away from the pothole, we miss it.) The bike follows the path we gaze upon.
Same here. When you have obsessive thoughts, it’s like you’re staring at that pothole and you can’t stop staring. It’s like a deer frozen by the headlights of a car. You just can’t stop.
Again, I know; it’s obvious.
You’re thinking about something because you HAVE to think about it. You have to think about it because you ARE thinking about it. A catch-22. Can’t stop… can’t stop… can’t stop… those obsessive thoughts. Spinning away on a hamster wheel…
So where lies the traction? With your FEELINGS. Because what happens when you’re thinking your obsessive thoughts? You are NOT in touch with your true feelings. Your TRUE feelings.
Oh, you might be feeling something. Most likely, though, what you feel lacks realness.
Take blame, for example. Blame lubricates the hamster wheel. You can blame all day long and not move ahead one inch. True feelings – REAL feelings – give you something to push off from. Blame gives you nothing. It only takes.
Or how about righteousness? If you have the ‘right’ to be angry (and when you think about it, WHO DOESN’T?!!) you will sit and spin for days, weeks, years. The price you pay for righteousness: you must keep thinking the same thoughts over and over and over. Obsessing. Because you really are ‘right’.
Look, everybody thinks they’re right. It’s not a question of who’s really right. No. Here’s the true question: do you want to learn how to stop obsessive thoughts, or don’t you?
Which holds greater value? Peace of mind; happiness; resolution; balance; realness?
Or spinning in righteousness; blame; pity; avoiding responsibility?
If you’re truly ready to stop the obsessive thoughts, here’s how to do it: First, write down those obsessive thoughts on paper. It probably won’t take more than a sentence or two. Maybe a paragraph. Then, DIG DEEPLY into what those thoughts make you feel.
It always starts with righteousness or blame or pity or judgments or something similar. That’s fine. Whichever lubricant comes up – write it down.
“It really is their fault!”
“I really am right!”
“I am such an idiot!”
Whatever. And then recognize: this is the lubricant that won’t let me stop those obsessive thoughts.
Next, gut-check time. Which holds greater importance? Going deeper into the realness; the real feelings underneath? Or obsessing over this little statement I just wrote down?
It’s not a question of who’s right. It’s not a function of who’s to blame. It’s not a matter of judging yourself or others harshly. The real question: what’s more important to you?
You can always dig deeper and deeper into your TRUE feelings if you want to. You can feel without the slimy lubrication. Simply focus on your HEART instead of your HEAD. Stop looking at the pothole in your head. Change your focus.
Imagine a hamster wheel spinning in your head. See it spinning and spinning away. Think the agonizing, obsessive thoughts. Then imagine it slowly turns into a sphere of light. Let it slowly sink down to the middle of your body. Feel it sinking down through your head, into your neck, then into your chest and then maybe all the way to your stomach or where ever feels right to you.
Let it becomes a gyroscope, if you absolutely must have motion!
Focus on either the gyroscope or the sphere of light in the middle of your body instead of the hamster wheel in your head. Repeat this little exercise whenever you feel the obsessive thoughts coming back.
Seek out the feelings that come from your BODY. Not the so-called feelings that come out of your head. Focus on your body. And stop focusing all your attention in your head.
All the while, taking the time to write things down. And FEEL what those statements feel like… not THINK what they feel like! That’s the key to gaining traction. Get out of your head and into your body.
That’s the key to truly learning how to stop obsessive thoughts: focus on the feelings that you feel in your body.
all the best,Mark
Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Wizard
creative-visualization.com
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thank you! I always read everything you send me. As you know resently I had a brother that past away pretty much due to depression. Tha's how I started doing reaserch. To try to help him, and myself. I do regret not having had the money to purchase your 3 min depression cure, but I am glad that it exist. At least there is a hope.I hope you still sell it, in case I might be able to afford it soon.But really, thanks, your audio and writings give me hope!
marta
I can assure you I DON'T have a 3 minute depression cure.
That's someone else.
And if you're thinking of purchasing that product, I strongly suggest you research it on a few depression forums before you buy.
I'm starting a new site on depression, but it doesn't cost any money. It's at handle-depression.com
I am very confident that many hubpages are just a marketing ruse by the guy selling the $97 audio CD about a 3 min cure for depression. Look how well thought out the tags are. Check the last PPS about half an hour to help others. It's on all the "JR_King" hubpages.
It doesn't work for most people but the guy apparently does honour the money back guarantee
I stopped at 'traction'.
Blow your smoke somewhere else.
The words are great. I think traction is a good way for me to look at it. I like the mini meditation and will use it myself and teach it in my classes. Tools are good to have for what ever degree ones mind is spinning.
Thank You!
thanks! These are really good tips. I've done a lot of research about this for myself, and I really relate to what you said about feelings and traction. I've found that when I'm having an obsessive thought, and I write it all out and dig deeper into what I'm feeling, the real emotions of fear and sadness are released, and I can move on for awhile. Thanks again.
Thanks alot mate, that really helped. Im a 15 year old kid from England and sometimes I think horrible thoughts that I don't mean and feel guilty and depressed about them afterwards. Things like "I want my mum to die" and stuff like that which makes me obsess about these thoughts and go round and round in circles analysing them. When a horrible thought pops into my head, what should I do? Jack.
Good to know I'm not the only one.
-Melissa
http://dazzledbeader.blogspot.com
Thanks for this. I only realized a few days back that my tendency to dwell on negative things, or think negative thoughts, might be a form of obsessive thinking. Though I've long been aware that I might suffer mildly from depression and low self-esteem, I think there's some degree of obsessing on things as well. Anyway, I stumbled across this doing some research online, and so far this has been the most helpful thing that I've read. Thanks so much.
it feels good to know that im not alone. i’ve been freaking out because i have obsessive thoughts such as ‘im dead’ or that im crazy. and it really is affecting every aspect of my life and making me go into a deeper depression than ever
I have been having obsessive thoughts about people I don’t like and it makes me feel anxious!
I hate this I used to not have this makes me feel horrible I wish it would just end and forget about the ppl I hate grr ..thanks this helped a bit .
omg i am having the EXACT same thing! i keep thinking about people who i don’t like, it’s been 5 days of NONSTOP thinking about one single person and it’s so embarrassing i can’t tell anyone who. don’t know how to stop it and i’m miserable and scared that the person will never leave my mind. please help me! there’s nothing i can do to make it go away! how do i make this go away! IT WONT GO AWAY!
well ihave been having this for a year and half now so i guess u should go see a doctor and hopefully it will be lessen if it is not gone but iwant to ask u guys do u have any bad dreams going on not only about them but in general ??
where does one find hope:where does it come from,where and how does one reconize it when it does show up then what shall i do with it hope is it only a word ?or is it something that sustaines a life hope is it something that i can see hope is it something that i belivein ,hope is it a gift from God? this present state of mind what i feel what i know , what i say,what i do, and how i live i hope that i am living right! only time can tell if i will endure lifes tests the reason to exist the purpose i have been born to live and the answer that i hope to find ,is hope the finial destiny the finial conclusion i will experience upon leaving this body,i hope that this path that i am on will lead me back home to paridise the place where i came from in my heavenly fathers mind,home my only hope which is so divine hope is Gods way to guide us through jesus christ through faith in Gods word hope in the truth the way and the life hope…………………………..
I also like this. I hate my self sometimes because I can’t stop thinking that I don’t want to do. I am scared of being a criminal or a molester, a lesbian things that in my heart I don’t want but my brain couldn’t stop sometimes cause sometimes I think, what if I will become like this and like and it just makes me depress. sometimes when I feel like this I just wish am dead. I hate it. That’s why I am so happy that there is God he gives me relief from this feeling. I was listening to the music “be thou my vision o lord orf my heart…. and your my best thought day and night” so I know that the best thought on my mind that I am not this things that I am scared I will become. Thats God and God doesn’t lie at me only satan does. Satan lies at us he doesnt want us too feel good. We only feel ggo if we listen to Jesus when we listen to the positive thats the best thought in our mind. and that is Jesus. pray over that negative thoughts tell God that satan is no power to hurt you and lie at you because you have God that is more stronger than anybody than anything in the world that will conquer the evil. We will just pray for each other. Amen