Stuck In Your Feelings?

by Mark Ivar Myhre on August 10, 2007

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One of the biggest problems we all experience with our emotions involves getting ‘stuck’ in them. Meaning, we keep feeling the same exact feelings, over and over; day after day.

If you seem stuck in your feelings – it’s almost guaranteed to be painful. Or at least unpleasant. Sadly, we end up blaming the feelings themselves, and all too often we conclude feelings are bad and wrong and we shouldn’t even have them.

Ever been stuck in your car? Maybe in snow, or ice; or perhaps mud or sand? You stomp on the gas pedal – the wheels spin like crazy – but you don’t GET anywhere. All you do is make things worse.

That’s what it’s like when you get ‘stuck’ in your feelings. Except for a few major differences…

Number one, you have an emotional body, and your emotional body holds much greater significance than your car. I know it doesn’t seem that way.



Because I NEED my car. While my emotional body – if it really exists at all – just gets in the way… causing all sorts of problems.

Secondly, your emotional body is alive right now; just as your physical body lives right now. The bodies connect together. You can’t really separate yourself from your emotional body. You can’t leave it in the garage.

The key to healing lies with bringing your emotional body CLOSER to you – rather than trying to push it away or separate from it. (Which compares to disassociating from yourself.)

That’s how you get stuck: by trying to push away your emotional body. We often think it’s the other way around:

“I feel these terrible awful rotten feelings – and I don’t want to feel that way – so I’m going to do everything I can to NOT feel them.”

Which means you must push them away rather than bringing them closer so you can feel them and then let them go.

But you MUST bring them closer to get any traction. You must embrace them to create the friction so you can release them. Otherwise, you’ll be spinning your wheels.

If you’re looking for a shortcut to ending the pain – you just found it.

See, your emotional body knows how to heal itself. Just like your physical body knows how to heal itself. If you give it a chance.



The way to heal your emotional body involves consciously seeking out your feelings… searching for them… so you can embrace them cleanly. If you embrace them cleanly, they will AUTOMATICALLY release themselves. And you will be left feeling MORE POWERFUL – every single time!

Even feeling powerless – cleanly – will leave you feeling more powerful.

The problem comes when we live with clogged-up emotional pathways. So we end up not feeling cleanly.

What clogs them up?

Our little stories about how we’ve been wronged by the big bad world. Our blame… our shame… our pity… our judgments… all our painful ways of blocking the flow. All our little stories that eventually end up killing us.

Because we really have been wronged. Every single one of us. And holding onto that story becomes the most important thing for many people. Way more important than ending emotional pain:

“I’ll never forget what they did!”

It becomes a motto for a failed life. Behind every case of stuck feelings lies a sad little story.



If you muster the courage – and it does take a good bit of courage – you can admit you have a little story. Just like every human on this planet has a little story. (Unless they’ve already worked to release it.)

If you can admit you have a story, you’re half-way home to ending those stuck feelings.

Almost by definition, a coward never admits to holding a little story. Almost by definition, a warrior does admit to holding a little story. Cowards bristle at the very idea. Warriors become intrigued.

To unstick those feelings, you must find the emotional warrior that ALREADY EXISTS inside of you. It’s the energy that’s tugging at your heart right now.

all the best,

Mark

Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Coach
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{ 3 comments }

Peter August 13, 2007 at 3:59 pm

Hey Mark,

I agree with being able to moving on from what has happened in the past, but at the same time, you cannotnegate that the past has happened, or that the past has helped to shape who you will be in the future.

That said, I think the "success" people have found a balance of past and present and future that allows them to move forward.

Cheers
Peter

Rosemary August 13, 2007 at 8:15 pm

Hello Mark,
I enjoyed the basis of the article, however it does not inform me as to where one finds the courage [which is a very strong emotion] to step out of the negative shadows and into the positive warmth and light.
All too many people feel that they need to hold onto yesterday because it is the known way of being even though that way does no longer serve them or in some instances has never served them…it is just what they know..
For these people without the framework of a better "today" they simply do not know how to gather the courage to alter anything.

Success is also something that should never be measured by any one other than the individual who is achieving it….For me success is many things, for others it is something totally different again.
I can praise some one for what I believe is a success, when in their eyes it may not be seen as anything out of the ordinary.

Rosemary

ivar August 14, 2007 at 9:03 pm

well, I think you two have just given me some ideas to write about. Namely, dealing with the future and finding courage and the essence of success.

three articles – that I'll probably write in the next day or so and then post to this blog.

as you'll see, I have an opinion on almost everything!

thanks for writing,

Mark

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