Get Outta That Funky Mood

by Mark Ivar Myhre on September 30, 2007

You just want to feel good.

So WHY does it seem so EASY to keep slipping into negative cynical thoughts and unpleasant moods? Why do we seem to keep sinking down… when we just want to feel good?

Basically, that negative space we sink into is a resonance. It’s like a mud pit or a hole in the ground.

In fact, you may want to even create your own image of what it’s like for you. (The more you can define it, the better you can understand it and the more empowered you’ll be to change it.)

So how do we end up there?

By choice. And that’s good news! Because you can always make new choices. But I’m getting ahead of myself…

Actually, it’s usually a series of choices that lead you from a ‘good feeling place’ to a ‘bad feeling place’. These choices form a pathway – a well-worn pathway…

A pathway you know well – because you probably take it on a regular basis.

It’s like going down a slide at the playground. It’s become a pathway of least effort; but only because it’s so familiar and so frequently used.

And NOT because it really does take less effort to sink down into that mud pit!

In fact, it probably took a LOT of work – a lot of effort, focus, concentration – to create that pathway. Most likely it’s been there since childhood.

The first step to changing is to understand the problem:

You have a well-worn pathway that’s like a slippery slope leading you straight down to an unpleasant emotional state.

It’s usually created in childhood as a response to painful situations that seemed hopeless and unsolvable. The ‘solution’ – perhaps the only solution available to a child – was to create a resonance – a hiding place – of mopey misery and cynicism (and whatever else is ‘down there’) – as a way to deal with the pain and oppression of the world.

You understand, of course, that I’m oversimplifying and generalizing the situation. But you get the principles:

You’ve created an ‘unwanted’ place as a defense mechanism. Or, at least now it’s unwanted. Perhaps there was a time when it served a useful purpose. But that time ended as you grew up.

And instead of just going away – now it seems that unwanted place has become stronger – and the slippery slope has become much easier to slide down.

That’s the situation I found myself in. So I started fighting against it. Because I don’t want to feel ‘bad’. I want to feel ‘good’.

But fighting against it only made it grow stronger. (Maybe you’ve noticed in your own life.) So instead, I found a way to use its power against itself. Like judo or aikido or something.

That resonance – that unpleasant place – has a voice. Every resonance does. By letting it speak instead of always trying to shut it up, I’m able to dissipate its energy.

Here’s what I do:

When I find myself in that mopey, cynical place – first, I recognize it for what it is.

“Right now, I’m in a ‘negative’ space. Okay, I slipped up. But I still love and accept myself.”

Next, I let that negativity speak. Mentally; not out loud. I’ll get alone for a few minutes – and just let myself rant and rave and scream and yell and complain and whine and… whatever else comes up.

And it’s all mental.

Sometimes I’ll do it out loud – but I recognize that’s melodrama, and it doesn’t solve anything. So if I do it out loud, I’m very careful to keep in mind I’m just acting.

Maybe I’ll act out loud (for me, it’s always when I’m alone) but I realize I’m only doing it for the perverted pleasure it provides. Like eating a pint of ice cream over the kitchen sink.

But then I get about the business of dealing with it effectively; by letting the voice of that unwanted resonance speak inside my head.

I’m not interested in the words I mentally speak, as much as the ENERGY behind the words.

I’m bleeding off the energy. Maybe not ending it (whining can go on forever!) but I am releasing the intensity of it.

See the difference? I’m releasing the pressure that’s built up. When you don’t let that voice speak – it builds up pressure, and potential energy.

There’s a fine line here. I release the intensity – the pressure – and then I consciously stop that inner voice. If I release the intensity – then I can stop it without too much effort.

If I don’t release the pressure – it just grows stronger (or at least festers) and I end up being stuck in that mud pit.

By letting that inner voice speak – I release its loudness, and I can step out to a better-feeling place. So maybe for a minute – a solid sixty seconds – I let that voice speak as loud as it wants… screaming about whatever it wants.

I focus only on letting that voice speak to me, inside my head.

You may do it longer or shorter. The key is to release the intensity. The other key is to consciously STOP the voice once the intensity is released. Otherwise, you can stay in that negative space all day. (Or all week; all month; all year; all…)

After you bleed off the energy from the voice of that ‘down mood’ – now you want to step INTO a brand new resonance. Otherwise, you’re likely to just drift back into the unwanted place.

How do you do that?

By consciously CHOOSING the way you’d like to feel.

Basically, what I’ve done is to create a new resonance – one that I want for myself. I’ve created a very specific resonance that to me is the exact opposite of my mopey resonance.

I’ll describe mine, to give you some ideas for creating your own.

It consists of seven parts.

At the core is the energy of my value. It’s kind of a cylinder of energy that goes from my head to my feet. Perhaps one foot in diameter. Around that , I imagine a layer of love. Next I imagine a layer of power. And finally, a layer of success.

So it’s like a tree trunk. If you look at a cross section of a tree, you see the concentric rings that represent each year of growth. That’s kind of what it’s like for me. The inner core is my value. Then a ring of love, then a ring of power, and finally, like the outer bark of a tree – the energy of success.

Value, love, power, success. Together they form a cylinder about the size of my body.

Next, I have three more parts. In front of me – excitement and enthusiasm. To the left of me – newness; freshness; the concept of ‘everything can be different now’. To the right of me – the energy of ‘I can be, do, and have whatever I want’.

It’s hard to put into words exactly what these energies are. They’re easier for me to feel than to describe. But I just want to give you some ideas so you can create your own resonance.

I was seeking to answer the painful negative unpleasant resonance. That’s why I chose those specific energies. You may use completely different ones. In a completely different configuration.

But to be most effective, I suggest you imagine a specific ‘shape’ or arrangement to whatever energies you use to create a new resonance. Maybe you imagine a simple sphere of love. Or a cube – made of six different energies. Whatever makes the most sense to you.

It doesn’t have to be a geometric shape. It could be an image of you – a brand new you who brims with love and confidence and gratitude and self-acceptance. Visualize the image in front of you, fill it with the qualities you want, and then step into it.

The possibilities are limited only by your imagination.

But if you stick with one shape with the same energies – over time – you’ll find it becomes stronger and more powerful and it becomes easier to feel it. Just like the unpleasant resonance you now feel has become strong and easy to feel.

The beauty of this technique is it allows you to DO something to feel better. And the more you practice it – the better it works.

Here are the overall steps:

1. Recognize your pattern when you’re in that funky mood.

2. Let the voice of it speak to you inside your head. Consciously, deliberately, let it speak.

3. Once the energy has bled off, consciously stop that voice.

4. Step into a new resonance of your choosing. One that you’ve not only consciously designed, but one that you practice and work with.

And over time, you may change it or add to it. Or even start over with a new one that serves you better.

Your life may not totally change overnight, but you can make slow, steady improvements to your emotional state quicker than you might imagine.

It can work like magic if you let it.


Anonymous October 21, 2007 at 6:34 pm

Thanks for this inspiring article Mark, I will definitely work on this and aim for a positive change.

Anonymous November 9, 2007 at 5:09 am

Many, many thanks for your step by step gains to emotionally heal oneself. It is very clear and concise and a positive exercise to feel better.

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