New Year’s Resolutions: How To Keep Them

by Mark Ivar Myhre on January 2, 2008


I never kept a single New Year’s resolution.

Until I learned the secret I’m about to tell you. And now, I don’t even think about whether or not I’ll be keeping any new resolutions I make. I know it’s completely up to me. And ‘will power’ has nothing to do with it.

Will power is overrated anyway. Usually it really means suffering and struggling and punishment. Which I have no use for. I’ve struggled enough in this lifetime.

What I’m about to tell you is the easy way to change. It’s not the complete answer, but it’s a critical part. It involves changing your resonance. When you change your resonance, you change yourself (and even the world you see around you, to a certain extent).

When you change your resonance, magic happens.

When you change your resonance, your New Year’s resolutions will no longer be a source of frustration, disappointment, or shame. The struggle will be removed, and it’ll be like sliding down a slippery slope. Keeping resolutions will be a matter of choice, rather than a function of determination and grit.

You can change your resonance in various ways.

Today, lets look at the easiest way. It may seem too easy. Don’t fall into the trap of believing you must struggle to change. You can let it be easy.

Up till now, you likely believe what I used to: “The best way to achieve your goal is to focus on it strongly and consistently; see it clearly and it will surely be yours.”

Certainly the idea has merit. It can work, and often does. But oftentimes it doesn’t, as you probably know all too well. Why do you suppose that is?

The simple answer is we’re usually focusing on the form our ego believes is best, rather than listening to what our heart really wants. Which is not form, but essence.

Your ego says lose weight so you’ll look sexy. But your heart says it just wants that wonderful feeling of being loved. You see the difference?

Your ego has desires, and your heart has desires. Chasing the desires of ego will have you running in circles and leave you frustrated and empty. Opening to the desires of your heart will bring you immense joy and satisfaction.

Chase ego desires and be frustrated… or open to the heart’s desires and be fulfilled. Hmm…. Tough choice, huh?

Actually, it is tough. Because we’re so seduced by ego. And our heart speaks so softly.

Can you hear your heart speak? Do you know what it wants?

I can guarantee you it’s not the shiny new sports car. Rather, it wants the thrill – the thrill of driving it. See the difference?

Your heart wants the essence while your ego wants the form. You can have both. The key is to focus on the essence instead of the form. Seek to satisfy your heart FIRST. How do you do this?

By finding the essence within the form. Look to your New Year’s resolution. First, look at the form. What, exactly, do you want?

Now, look deeper. Find the essence within the form. In other words, what are the wonderful feelings you will feel once you have the form? That’s what you want to focus on: the wonderful feelings. NOT the form.

In fact you would be better served by not giving the form much energy at all. I know that’s not what most people say. Hey, I’ve cut out pictures from magazines myself. I know how seductive the form can be.

But I’m telling you from personal experience; focus on the wonderful feelings instead of the form, and you’ll have a much greater chance of getting the form you want. Because the essence creates the form.

Plus, you can start feeling those wonderful feelings right now. You don’t have to wait.

To sum up:

1. Decide what you want.

2. Go deeper into your want; and find the essence – the wonderful feelings you’ll have once you get what you want.

3. Start feeling those feelings now.

4. Keep those wonderful feelings in place; focus on them, rather than the form.

5. Ignore the form. Heck, you might end up with something better anyway!

6. When your ego comes in (and it most definitely will!) and tries to tell you you’re wasting your time – say “NO” and keep on feeling those wonderful feelings.

7. Don’t judge your success by anything in the world – just keep holding onto those feelings. Measure your success by how you feel.

If you follow these steps you can change your resonance. And make it quite likely you’ll get what you want. Because all form comes from essence. Don’t believe the lie that you must first get the form, before you can feel the wonderful feelings.

“I can’t feel good about myself until I lose the weight.”

That’s why New Year’s resolutions fail.


Toni Q January 6, 2008 at 10:52 pm

Wow! Mark.

Hmm… you'd think I'd find something more expressive, but just… wow!

I've watched the secret, heard all the psycho-babble, read the books, but never had it so beautifully summed up.

Thanks! I'm going to get my resonance humming. The right way, for a change!

Anonymous January 21, 2008 at 3:10 am

Could you provide a example of this?

ivar January 22, 2008 at 7:03 pm

An example?

Okay, lets say you want to lose weight. Sure, you need to do all sorts of physical things such as eat properly and move more.

(And for me, I lost 7 pounds in 7 days just by visualizing myself thin. Seriously. But that's a different story.)

In this case, you also want to focus MAINLY on how you FEEL.

First, find your excitement at how you'll feel when you lose the weight.

You do this so you'll change your resonance. Your resonance refers to the sum total of your 'limited self' and is a little too much to explain in this comment.

But your resonance is fluid and flexible and changes – at least slightly – throughout the day.

The idea is that by feeling your excitement, you'll be changing your resonance fairly quickly and easily.

Obviously there's a lot more that could be said…

But I'll have to save that for another article.

ivar January 23, 2008 at 8:20 pm

I better rethink that last comment.

About 'quickly and easily' changing your resonance.

Because if you're struggling to lose weight, you could easily be up to your waist, or up to your neck, or even over your head, in unresolved emotional energy.

And that may be a big part of your resonance. And it won't change just by seeking excitement.

You will need to deal with the unresolved emotion AS you're seeking the excitement.

Plus, to lose weight the 'right' way, you need to truly, honestly feel like moving more than you feel like sitting still.

Which takes a certain excitement.

And, a certain healing of emotionally stagnant energy…

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