Responsibility In The New Year

by Mark Ivar Myhre on January 8, 2008

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How can we change? How can we make this new year better than the last?

Let me offer one suggestion: Learn what responsibility really means.

See, if you’re like I used to be, you may believe responsibility equals pain, punishment, shame, blame, martyr, burdens, duty, obligation and fault.

“Who’s responsible for this?!!” really means –

“Who’s to blame?”

“Who’s at fault?”

“Who needs to be punished and humiliated?”

“Who needs to carry the burden?” (While everyone else gets a free ride.)


None of that is responsibility!

We, as a society, have twisted the word around so it means something repulsive and unwanted. Who wants to be punished? Who wants to be shamed? Who wants more burden? Not me.

It’s like we’ve taken this wonderful energy and hidden it behind an ugly mask.

I used to run from responsibility. Because I truly believed it was painful and unpleasant. In fact, I had programmed my subconscious mind to avoid responsibility at all costs. And so, my life reflected a lack of responsibility. It was not a pretty sight.

The Definition Of Responsibility

So what does it really mean to be responsible? I used to say, ‘the ability to respond’; but that’s just shuffling words around and doesn’t really answer the question.

In a state of true responsibility, you’ll be feeling wonder, excitement, joy, power, clarity, spontaneity, and fun.

In other words, you’ll be feeling on top of the world. You’ll feel like you can do anything. You’re ‘in the zone’ and life just flows – with little effort. You’re almost walking on air. Every cell of your body seems cradled in some sort of undefined loving energy.


That’s what it feels like. It’s the most fun you can have in a human body. In the moment when you feel responsible, you are truly living up to your human and spiritual potential.

How can this be? How can I use the words responsibility and fun in the same sentence, without putting a ‘not’ between them?

I guess it compares to the other big lies of society. Basically, we operate under a set of generally-unspoken-but-strongly-held beliefs; one of which is that responsibility is a painful, punishing burden to be avoided at all costs. It’s one of the many faulty assumptions our society functions out of.

But you can break out of the herd. You don’t have to settle for mediocrity. You can start taking responsibility here and now in this present moment.

Or rather, you can start being more conscious of it. Because everyone must be responsible. Everyone must respond in some way, all the time. The question is, which part of you is taking responsibility right now? Your inner child? Your ego?

I know for me, it was most often an inner victim, an inner martyr, and an inner outlaw. A victim who felt oppressed by the world; a martyr who felt unappreciated and burdened; and an outlaw who wanted to avoid responsibility. (An outlaw in the archetypal sense.)

Those three idiots were driving my life. While I hid in the back seat, looking for someone – anyone – to blame for the condition of my life.

Well, I call them idiots. Maybe I should look in the mirror… since I’m the one who made them be responsible for my life. No wonder I felt so helpless, depressed, frantic and overwhelmed. Sometimes I marvel at how I survived all those years. It’s tough living your life from the backseat.

Thank goodness I finally woke up. It didn’t happen overnight.

And now, here’s the best advice I can give:

1. Start by accepting responsibility for something – anything – in your life that you’re currently avoiding. Push through the invisible barrier that’s stopping you now. Start with something small, if that helps.

2. Notice how much better you feel once you’ve faced up to what you’ve been avoiding! That ‘feeling better’ is like gold. And you can use it as greater inspiration to push on even further.


See how it goes? First, take a baby step to face up to something. Then, use the wonderful feeling it produces to take another step to face up to something else.

You can actually start a momentum this way, and it can propel you further and further into greater and greater responsibility and power. And wonder and joy and excitement and clarity and spontaneity and fun.

All the while you feel better and better.

Wow! Talk about win-win! You should be paying me money for this info!

You can’t really avoid anything, anyway…

If you’re having trouble getting started, keep in mind the initial barrier is almost always composed of imaginary fear. And to deal with imaginary fear, go to http://www.reduce-fear.com.

 

all the best,

Mark

Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Coach
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{ 1 comment }

Goldie Davich January 8, 2008 at 10:19 pm

I don't remember when I first subscribed to your mailing list. I swear it must have been years ago. I am glad to see you have this cool blog I can direct people to. I don't see your subscribe button. I use Google reader everyday to stay informed…

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