The Burdens We Bear

by Mark Ivar Myhre on March 7, 2008

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All children feel like victims. The feelings may or may not last – but at one time or another, we’ve all felt like we were a victim to forces beyond our control.

If those feelings do continue, the logical progression is to feel like a martyr. Not in the religious sense, but rather in the archetypal sense.

A martyr is someone who’s burdened with problems that cannot be solved while feeling unappreciated and misunderstood.

It’s an archetypal energy; meaning the same feelings can be felt by anyone anywhere. It’s universal, in other words.

While victimhood starts in childhood, martyrhood usually starts in adolescence.

The keyword to being a martyr: burden.

I know burden. I know the helplessness of it; the hopelessness of it.


Burden comes from demanding that someone else must be responsible for my life.

Since it’s not possible for anyone else to be responsible for your life, the tendency is to take on more and more burden. Which leads to all sorts of unpleasant feelings, such as bitterness, rage, depression, and so forth.

Because when burdens become a way of life, they don’t end; they just change form.

I’ll get rid of this job, but end up with a new job that creates the same feelings.

I’ll get rid of this person, but attract another person who engenders the same unpleasant feelings.

Or I’ll stop working – stay home – and be burdened by my kids.

Form changes. The feelings don’t. That’s the nature of burden.

Burden comes from a resistance to change.

In adolescence, massive changes occur almost on a daily basis. It’s a scary time.

We learn to manufacture burdens to feel safe. Not that it works well, but it’s about all we can do to attempt to slow down the changes.

Change is frightening.

Change brings impact.

Burdens are an attempt to control the impact of change.

The problem with burdens is they make you feel powerless.

It’s like you take a chunk of your power and wrap it in thoughts and feelings of disempowerment. For example, by blaming someone else for the way you feel.

“They’re doing this to me!”

If you’re feeling burdened, the message behind the burden is: it’s time to change.


Change is continuous. You could imagine it as a flow; like the flow of time.

Sameness does not equal safety. Sameness brings stagnation.

The ideal is to be in the flow of change. Like your body. Your body is in a continuous state of change.

Change is natural.

Change is like removing a splinter.

If you want to end burden, first realize you’ve developed ingrained habits that create burdens. All the habits have one thing in common: an attempt to demand that someone or something else be responsible for my life.

So the solution starts with taking back your power from wherever you’ve placed it:

I take my power back from my job.

I take my power back from my spouse.

I take my power back from…

And mean it!

Next step.

If you were a bird, what kind of bird would you be?

Not a turkey or a chicken or a penguin. A bird that flies.


Imagine yourself as this bird. Imagine yourself spreading your wings and lifting off the ground. Not as a way to escape, but as a way to feel the flow of change. As a way to gain a new perspective on your life. As a way to end your burden.

Imagine yourself taking off, and flying into the energy of change.

It sounds so simple, but if you really get into it, the experience can blow your mind. Seriously.

Don’t worry about changing the content of what burdens you.

If you’ll allow yourself to enter the flow of change – free of resistance – either the things that burden you will change, or else they simply won’t bother you anymore.

You can fight change. But why?

It’s so much more fun to soar.

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all the best,

Mark

Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Coach
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{ 1 comment }

Anonymous March 16, 2008 at 11:27 pm

" I have tried so hard to be who I ought to be, I forgot who I am"
This I know..I am not a victim.

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