Emotional Insecurity

.
People often use the term ‘emotional insecurity’ without stopping to understand what it really means. While it implies a problem with emotions, such as fear of loneliness, the core issue lies much deeper.

Insecurity is rooted in faulty beliefs. It usually begins in childhood and continues as a pattern throughout a person’s lifetime… unless steps are taken to end that pattern of insecurity and replace it with a new pattern: a pattern of empowerment.

Ending emotional insecurity begins with willingness. Are you willing to change? Well that’s a silly question. Of course you are! Why else would you be reading this?

I would say the question of willingness needs to be looked at very carefully. You see, we’re already living a life out of our willingness: what we’re willing to be; willing to do; willing to have. Willingness always leads the way.

So often, people say they’re willing to change when they really have no intention at all of doing so. Instead, they’re willing to prove they had a rotten childhood, or they’re willing to feel self-pity, or they’re willing to avoid the responsibility that comes with change…

Or perhaps it’s because they truly, honestly, are only willing to believe they can’t change; they’re willing to believe they must stay in an emotionally insecure state.

If I ask the question, “Are you willing to change?” and you say you can’t change – then you haven’t really answered the question. I didn’t ask if you could change. We already know the answer to that! I asked if you were willing.

Please understand, willingness always leads the way. First, you’re willing. Then you choose. Then – THEN comes the ability.

I know it doesn’t seem that way. And I know how confronting it is to even contemplate the idea. It’s so much easier – it’s so much more comfortable – to believe I’m a victim of fate or a victim of circumstances beyond my control. Just so I’m a victim of something.

Victimhood is a pain factory. Based on faulty beliefs. One of those beliefs: “I must have the ability to change before I can be willing to change.”

If you believe that statement, then you may as well settle in for a lifetime of emotional insecurity. Because it’s a trap designed to keep you in a place of victimhood and emotional insecurity. It’s a catch-22.

The answer starts with being willing to look at some of those beliefs and assumptions you’re willing to die for.

It’s true. Many people would rather die than question their assumptions. Many people do die from this lack of questioning. Or at the very least, they live a life of needless suffering.

Here’s the key: Find your willingness! Get in touch with what you are willing to be, do and have.

“Okay, I’m not willing to stop believing I’m a victim – but I am willing to look deeper at this. I’m willing to stop hiding my head in the sand.”

Or, “I’m not yet willing to let my parents off the hook and I’m not willing to give up my pity, but I am willing to someday be willing.”

Take it one step at a time. Admit where your current willingness lies. Admit what direction it’s taking you right now. Let it in: you can change your willingness and the whole direction of your life can change.

And that includes ending emotional insecurity. Remember, emotional insecurity is simply a pattern rooted in faulty childhood beliefs. All patterns can be changed. You just have to dig out the roots. You have to change the foundation upon which the pattern stands.

When you only attack the outward form of your emotional insecurity, you’ll continue to be victimized by it. Changing the form – the physical circumstances – the symptoms – never produces the internal change inside yourself.

Without first changing inside, the outward changes are temporary and ineffective. But by changing inside, you’ll likely find your external world automatically changes – as if by magic.

Ironically, it’s so much easier to make changes inside. Rather than fighting the outside world. Here’s two great ways to start:

1. Bleed off the excess fears – quickly and easily by following the simple technique in How To Reduce Fear, Escape Anxiety, And End Panic.

2. Get to the root of the problem and end it by learning how to change limiting beliefs in the e-book How To Create Your Own Reality.

Because no matter what, you simply cannot cling tightly enough to another person to make the fear and insecurity go away.

all the best,

Mark

Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Wizard

creative-visualization.com
Consult With Me

If you liked this post; if you got anything out of it; then please click on the BOOKMARK link below, which brings up a list of social bookmarking sites. Then add this article to your favorite site.

Thank you!

AddThis Social Bookmark Button

AddThis Feed Button

Bookmark & Share

And don't be the last person to get a FREE copy of the e-book -
"The Emotional Healing Quick Start Guide"

Free e-book reveals exactly what to do right now, starting today, to feel better. (See below.)


FREE E-Book on Emotional Healing - (See video below)




Read what others have said about me and the emotional healing guide.

Then sign up below for your free copy.
:
:

Your name and email is 100 safe.
I'm honored by your trust and I respect your privacy.

2 comments

  1. DenverGina says:

    Thank you Mark. It's amazing how you hit the nail on the head in describing me – my problem is always blaming my childhood. I know that I want to be strong and want to be a confident, self sufficient, secure, capable person that doesn't latch onto someone else for self definition but I've always been so rebellious. Even with myself. I will think more on the concept of willingness 'cause I consider myself very willing and when the thought ends and life just starts rolling on I forget.

  2. K12DRIVER says:

    Mark, thanks for this, it helps me to better understand why a relationship I was in failed, she was a victim of abuse at an early age which lead her to more abusive relationships as she grew, now at 55, she would rather go back to and be in a relationship with someone that she says makes her afraid because of his temper and ability to physically harm her, than take a chance on someone who genuinely cared for her and is a complete opposite of anyone she has been with in the past

    Dave

Leave a Reply