A subscriber wrote me the other day with a problem:
“I’m not able to feel the emotions and consume them
like you depict. Could you give me some more insight
into how to do this??
I can feel so numb that it is enormous effort to bring
up emotion to feel and amplify it. When I do, it takes
all my concentration to blot out my thoughts just to
keep the feeling there for a few seconds before it
sinks right back down.”
I had planned on writing a simple response, but then I realized maybe you have the same (or similar) problem, so I decided to really look at this in a systematic, methodical way, to see what I could come up with.
I was shocked because of what I found.
First, because I found so many blockages inside myself, and second because I worked out such a great way to get rid of those blockages – no matter what area of my life they were in. (Note: I’ve only tried this on a couple of blockages, but I assume they’ll work for all kinds of blockages.)
You can use this info to remove blockages to love, intimacy, caring, gratitude, success, even blockages to making more money or finding the person of your dreams.
Before I reveal what I learned, I’d like to point out you don’t need to ‘amplify’ your feelings. You just want to feel what’s naturally there. (We’re already amplifying them. That’s part of the problem for many people!)
Anyway, what we’re talking about here is a blockage to feeling your feelings.
Almost all people have blockages to feeling emotions intensely, and others have blockages to feeling almost ANYthing at all.
And we also have blockages in other areas of our lives as well. So what you learn here today could apply to such things as creating a loving relationship or making more money (two common blockages.)
I always say to begin any problem by looking at your payoffs. A payoff is what you REALLY want, rather than what you often will SAY you want.
Self pity, blame, righteousness and manipulation are some common payoffs.
Here’s an example:
“I want to punish myself so severely with the slim hope that some of the sweat from my pain and suffering will roll off my back and somehow miraculously land near my mother’s feet.”
“It’s never too early in the morning to blame someone for SOMEthing.”
It sounds funny when you say it like that, but almost every human engages in one payoff or another. I cover them all, and what to do about them, in great detail in the ebook, How To Create Your Own Reality.
But let’s say you truly do want to feel your feelings. You don’t see any one of those payoffs; you just want to experience a richer, fuller, more complete life.
You’re sick of missing out on all the complexity and depth – even the greater personal power – that comes with a healthier relationship with your emotions.
And yet, no matter what you do, you just can’t seem to feel what I talk about; the promise of emotional depth.
That’s when you know you have a blockage.
A blockage consists of beliefs and the other five raw materials of life that I cover completely in How To Create Your Own Reality. It’s a big tangled mess – like a huge dark chunk – or mass – held together by your own energy.
You created the blockage a long time ago as a way to keep out the pain. Generally, it’s the pain of childhood.
But now it’s become a SOURCE of pain.
Your own raw materials – your beliefs, attitudes, and so forth – have formed a blockage in your Emotional Wellspring.
And now you’ve been shut off from your own feelings. That’s what happens when you can’t feel your feelings.
If that were the only problem then it wouldn’t be so bad, because you could get to work on that blockage to end it. But we also develop a secondary blockage that keeps us from even engaging our main blockage!
See, if you could ‘get up close and personal’ with the blockage, you could begin the process of understanding and unraveling it. But because the blockage is painful – and we want to avoid pain at all costs – we actually develop a secondary blockage that keeps us from ever getting close to the source of the problem.
All we know is that we can’t feel much. Or if we do, then it’s too painful too much of the time.
The key to this mess involves first working with your secondary blockage. While you may have many different primary blockages – such as to love, intimacy, intensity, relationships, success, gratitude, etc. – each with their own unique sets of beliefs (and other raw materials) – you basically have only one secondary blockage.
That’s good news. Cause if you get rid of this secondary blockage, then you can systematically deal with each one of your primary blockages, if you choose.
So what is this secondary blockage?
Maybe it consists of imaginary fear.
(You can learn more about imaginary fear and how to end it by sending a blank email to firstname.lastname@example.org)
Anyway – I’ve got these primary blockages that pretty much set the boundaries of my life – but I’m afraid to even get next to them – so I can work with ‘em and change ‘em.
But more importantly, I don’t know what to do or where to begin.
Ironically, while you may have intense fears in your primary blockages, this secondary one has simply been unknown. The fear itself usually isn’t that intense. It’s simply a matter of avoiding the unknown.
So the first step involves ending this secondary blockage.
And you do it by your WILLINGNESS. Be willing. Be willing to face up to your main blockage.
Maybe you already are. Maybe it seems unnecessary. Like it doesn’t matter.
Here’s why it matters:
Your willingness always leads the way, regardless of what you want to accomplish. You must first be willing.
Then you choose.
THEN comes the ability.
It always starts with willingness. In this case, you must be willing to face up to the source of fear and pain; your blockage.
In life, you do and have and be what you are WILLING to do and have and be.
If you were truly willing, you’d probably already be working to overcome your blockage to emotions.
OR… maybe you’ve simply never declared your willingness:
I AM WILLING TO FACE MY BLOCKAGE TO FEELING MY FEELINGS.
I GIVE MYSELF PERMISSION TO FACE AND END MY BLOCKAGE TO FEELING MY EMOTIONS.
I GIVE MYSELF THE AUTHORITY TO FACE AND END MY BLOCKAGE TO FEELING MY EMOTIONS.
Why is it important to make these statements of willingness, permission and authority?
Keep in mind there are unknown forces at work here. There’s a lot more going on inside you than meets the eye.
It’s critical you make these affirmations – these declarations – either out loud or internally. Maybe numerous times over the next few days or weeks.
Or maybe you only need to say them once.
Either way, an ‘internal barrier’ must be broken. Otherwise, you’ll likely continue to go around in circles or stay lost in a maze or a fog.
Making these statements – with as much emotional intensity and determination as you can muster – helps you break free.
Once you’ve stepped through this secondary blockage (by your INTENTION) then it’s time to get down to business; by finding and working to end your blockage to emotions and/or emotional intensity.
Most likely your emotional blockage started at an early age; before you were 5 years old. When your subconscious mind was running the show.
And now, the core – or the root – of your blockage exists in your subconscious mind.
You can’t talk your way out of your blockage because your subconscious mind doesn’t work that way.
As you might suspect, the subconscious is the main ‘unknown force’ I spoke of a minute ago. It can be your greatest ally or your worst enemy.
It functions behind the scenes as a supercomputer, that basically runs your bodily functions, sets the patterns for your life, and follows YOUR programming.
The problem is, once the programs are set, they don’t change. Unless you know how to work with it – in ITS language and on ITS terms.
I have a meditation that takes you to actually meet and work with your subconscious mind (as a recorded audio file you can listen to over and over).
It takes you to the part of your subconscious where the blockage resides, and then it shrinks the blockage down to size, and returns the energy – the power – back to you.
For more info, go to -
But here’s a few tips you can also use:
You want to find the times when your subconscious mind is paying attention to what you’re doing, then speak to it in a language it understands.
You move closer to your subconscious when you daydream, when you focus on your breath, and when you first wake up or are about to fall asleep. Or when you engage in some type of meditation.
These times offer perhaps the best opportunities to work with your subconscious, because you are altering your state of consciousness to one degree or another.
I would suggest combining all 4 of these somewhat. (Most every night before I go to sleep, I always work with either my subconscious or some other part of me. Believe me, I’ve always got something to work on!)
Removing Your Blockages
So now let me tell you how I’ve worked through some of my own blockages:
Find a comfortable position and begin to relax your body. Also, focus on your breath – so that you’re breathing slowly and deeply. It will help to relax you, and it also gets the attention of your subconscious mind since your subconscious usually controls your breathing for you.
Once you’re relaxed, you can either count from 5 to 1 with the INTENTION of entering an altered state at the count of 1; or you can simply start to daydream.
If you did have an emotional blockage – what would it look like? Let your imagination go; don’t try to force it – don’t try to control it – just let an image appear.
For me, it looks like a huge boulder maybe 10 feet high and 10 feet wide. But it could just as well be a tree, a fire, the sheer wall of a cliff; or a cloud or mist or fog. Or it could be some sort of vague nebulous energy. Or, I suppose, it could even be some sort of wild beast.
Let it be what it is. Let your subconscious show you your blockage. It could be a wall of stone or a tangled mess of thorns and briers. Let it be what it is.
It may be hazy or it may be crystal-clear. And it could appear as different images for different types of blockages.
By the way, this is similar to The Wall meditation, where I show you how to remove the wall that surrounds your heart.
The wall around your heart is one type of blockage that prevents you from feeling the DEPTH of your emotions. Once removed, it frees up a lot of emotional pain and blocked emotional energy. It also puts you in closer contact with your own heart.
The Wall meditation is also useful for showing you the exact process for entering an altered state of consciousness — to communicate more effectively with your subconscious mind.
You can find out more about it by going to –
Anyway, the goal here is to find and visualize your blockage. It may not come right away, but it will come if you relax and give it time.
Once you’ve found it, begin to study its features. What color is it? What shape? How big? And why do you suppose it looks the way it does?
Spend the time to understand your blockage.
Next, (once you’re bored with just looking at it!) then move closer and closer until you can reach out and touch it. Feel the texture. Feel the warmth or coldness.
Place both hands firmly onto it.
You want to be as intimate with your blockage as you possibly can.
Once you’re ready, reach out and break off a piece of it. Hold it in your hands. Feel it’s energy. Feel it’s pain.
Now imagine yourself putting the piece into your heart.
Notice any feelings that come up.
Since blockages often form in childhood, you may sense or feel or hear or see images from your early years. You may sense particular incidents from childhood; painful episodes that helped trigger or build your blockage.
Remember, blockages form as a way to not feel pain; so the memories that come up won’t be pleasant. But neither will they be overwhelming.
You’re no longer a child; you’re a grownup. The three-foot wave that sends a child tumbling has much less impact on you now. You can stand up to it.
After you’ve broken off and absorbed that first piece, then break off a second one. You may find an entirely new set of feelings and memories with this second piece.
Hold the second piece, feeling and sensing what you can. Then place it into your heart like you did with the first one.
And give yourself PERMISSION to FEEL the memories. Be willing. Perhaps state it – either out loud or loudly inside:
I AM WILLING TO FEEL THE MEMORIES LOCKED IN MY BLOCKAGE.
I GIVE MYSELF PERMISSION TO FEEL THE ENERGY INSIDE MY BLOCKAGE.
I GIVE MYSELF THE AUTHORITY TO FEEL MY BLOCKAGE.
You don’t have to use those exact words. Just say whatever makes the most sense. And keep in mind you’re doing this for the benefit of your subconscious mind as much as for yourself.
After you’ve absorbed this second piece, systematically go through the entire blockage this way – piece by piece.
You should get a pretty good idea of when and where and how the blockage formed. If not; if you really don’t sense much or feel much or experience much of anything at all – then most likely you’re still blocking yourself from feeling the blockage.
You may need to start over from the beginning. And let it be OKAY that you need to start over! Don’t make it an excuse to beat yourself up! Some people absolutely will need to do this numerous times, no matter how badly they want it or how correctly they practice it. It just depends on how strong the blockage is, how much pain is in there, and various other factors as well.
Anyway, if you do start over, pay close attention to what you are TRULY WILLING to do.
As you say the words,”I am willing…” notice how it feels. Does it ring true? Or do you know deep inside you really aren’t willing?
With a little practice you should find the limits of your willingness.
Wherever the willingness stops – that’s where you need to focus your efforts.
That’s where your payoff lies.
Incidentally, you’ll often find snippets of your payoffs in the pieces of your blockage. Because even though the blockage exists in your subconscious mind, it’s often connected to your payoffs, which are a product of your conscious mind.
That’s why blockages are such a tangled mess; because they’re made up of both subconscious and conscious components. And why they take time to heal.
But the more you practice this technique of finding and sensing and absorbing and feeling your blockage, the sooner you can end it.
And once you reach the other side of your blockage, you’ll find a greater freedom that can propel you to a whole new level of being.
That’s why it’s worth working on.all the best,
Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Coach
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