Where Do I Begin?

by Mark Ivar Myhre on November 19, 2009

Recently I got the following letter:

“In terms of obtaining emotional wellness, I get overwhelmed
with all the information available. I wish there was a guide
that was simple and step-by-step that would be a road map
to emotional well-being.

“This seminar, this course, this therapy, this pill, it is too
much; I call it information overload. Anyway, if you have
something you recommend, it is appreciated. Again, thank
you for the work that you do. You make a difference it
people’s lives.”

So where do you begin?

One thing to keep in mind – everyone is different and we each have distinct blockages that keep us from emotional wellness. We have our unique problems. We have our own individual demons. And what I need to feel better may not be what you need. What helps me may not help you. The seminar or course or book that I loved may mean nothing at all to you. And vice versa. What you love, I may be apathetic towards.

The second thing to remember – life is not simple. It’s very complex, in fact. Emotional problems and issues often seem a complicated mess. With good reason. They usually are!

What I teach involves unraveling and ‘breaking apart’ the big problem into many small, manageable parts. Because when a problem stays ‘simple’ – it often becomes too big to get a handle on it. When you can’t get a handle on it, then it becomes overwhelming. When it becomes overwhelming, then you retreat. At this stage, when you retreat, then drugs seem more and more appealing.

So I don’t advise seeking the simple answer for these two reasons:

1. We’re all unique.

2. Emotional problems are complex. They need to be broken apart so you can deal with the parts one at a time.

Instead, I’d suggest working on your foundation. Your foundation includes a few dozen different energies that all interplay and intertwine with each other. Such as your attitudes, your beliefs, your degree of self-acceptance, your willingness, and so on.

But to START the work of strengthening your foundation, you can work with only two:

1. Your thoughts.

2. Your feelings.

(Now there’s a little simplicity for you!)

I’m going to assume you’ve read the Emotional Healing Quick Start Guide and you’re developing a new attitude – in fact, a whole new outlook – towards your emotions:

Emotions are why you live and emotions are why you die.

Emotions are the source of your power.

And yet, when misused, emotions can kill you.

Many, if not most, people in the world die a slow death from the pain of an unhealthy relationship with their emotions.

I don’t want that to happen to you.

So I always say, start by processing your thoughts and feelings. Get some cheap paper and a pen and start writing – furiously – whatever comes out. Whatever pops up. Write and write and write.

It’s the best way I know of to start developing a healthier relationship with your emotions.

But it forces you to think. And it forces you to feel. Many people don’t like that. Many people prefer to distance themselves as much as possible from what’s going on inside. Which leads to pain.

When I first started, I bought an expensive journal from the bookstore. Got a fancy pen. Wrote maybe one paragraph. Stopped. Never wrote anything else. Eventually lost the journal.

I didn’t want to bleed all over those nice white pages. I preferred to keep the pain inside. And I concluded writing out my thoughts and feelings wasn’t such a great idea after all.

That was in 1973. It took me twelve years to return to this deceptively easy but highly effective technique of self improvement. I dabbled with it for a year or two, then stopped again. I just wasn’t willing to dig deep into myself. I didn’t see the VALUE in processing.

And I still saw emotions as the enemy; as an adversary; something to avoid at all costs.

It would be another ten years before I got serious with my processing. Something clicked inside my head. I guess I finally got fed up with the constant pain. And I couldn’t find anything else that really worked.

Oh, I tried plenty of other stuff. But slick advertising does not a worthy product make. I was suckered time and again by well written ads that promised to improve my life.

“Just get up on the log… we’ll push you off.”

I’d be crazy not to buy their products. Push-button solutions. No effort on my part. No accountability. And certainly no delving into my own pain. Just surgically remove it for $19.95. No responsibility required.

I was a sucker.

I wasted so much time looking for a shortcut. I endured over two decades of emotional pain that could’ve been avoided. If only I’d had the courage to look at myself right from the beginning…. rather than trying to make some product or some other person responsible for my life.

Often times when people write me asking for help with their problems, I’ll tell them to write me all the details. Get back with me with a ‘fleshed-out’ version of exactly what their problem is.

Over half the time they never write back. So in those cases, I know they’re more interested in perpetuating the pity (or whatever else it there) rather than actually solving the problem.

Which is alright.

Everyone has the right to feel sorry for themselves. It punishes those who love you; and whoever loves you the most gets punished the most; but still, you have that right.

But what about those who do write back?

Sometimes something magical happens. If they’re sincere about wanting to improve their condition – and they do write out all the details to me – they might end up telling me they feel better just by fully ‘dimensionalizing’ the problem:

Giving it height, width, depth. Giving it dimension.

Exploring the dimensions of a problem can magically heal it.

CAN. Not WILL. But the potential is very real for healing just by doing that simple exercise.

When you want to stay in pity, however, NO WAY are you going to dimensionalize your problem. No way you’ll break it apart and analyze it and feel the feelings hiding behind and attached to your problem.

Nope, it’ll just stay an overwhelming blob of amorphous energy.

As always, the choice is up to you.

So to sum it up: I’d say no matter what the problem is, the first step involves turning to the greatest tool of self improvement – your trusty pen and cheap paper.

Even if you’ve bought – or are considering buying – some product I sell; I’d still say your best bet is to process out your situation.

My three best sellers – Forgive Yourself, Reduce Fear, and Create Your Own Reality – each provides detailed instructions on how to process. (Each with their own unique twist, depending on whether you’re trying to forgive, working to reduce fear, or choosing to create your own reality.)

But the underlying energy and purpose in each case remains the same:

To think and feel as much as you can about the problem or situation – without the pity or judgments.

And to take back your power from what’s bugging you.

Remember, the choice is always up to you.


Raywyn M. Erickson November 19, 2009 at 3:35 pm

Long time no news Mark… Great to know that the Emotional Wizard is still at work and play each day in its very own way… enjoying expressing through you too! I look forward to your e-book too.
Great article and I’d just like to add – knowing this information and applying it has been another journey for me since I got diagnosed with Breast Cancer Summer 2008. As I learned through Total Biology and German New Medicine – along with other modalities – the thought “Seed” idea – perceived, real or imagined stress or trauma got planted in the brain, sending the message to connect with the core Soul*Self and belief system. (Brain Scans and Body Scans verified this.)
When the “feeling” arose at the times I felt hurt, disappointed, betrayed, etc., I just accepted them, justified and carried on with Life – only to find out years later – that doesn’t work. Feelings buried alive never die! Biology of Belief and Science have now proved they just decay if not released causing ill-ness and dis-ease. Now we have to Feel “IT” to Heal “IT” and release the trapped energy to flow – forgiving ourselves and the situations/people involved creating the feeling. Judging, denying, negating the feelings feeds the B… S… (Basic Story, Belief System – held in place that something if faulty within.) We traced back to the origin of the 8 +++ tumors based on the Medical information plus other thoughts people gave me regarding time-lines, biological pathways, patterns, etc. Taking Action – sharing the story/secrets/feelings – Revealing the Truth, being honest with ourselves and each other – expressing our feelings allows healing to happen and happiness follows – that’s for real – wisdom sets us free to create a new reality = ultimate freedom! That’s “LIVING CHOICES” – you decide.
Kia Ora and Blessings,
Raywyn M.E. “Kiwi” in Canada

ivar November 20, 2009 at 9:26 am

Hi Raywyn,

it’s good to hear from you.

And thanks for the info there on breast cancer and feelings.

Helen D November 25, 2009 at 12:26 pm

Hi Mark,

During a couple of dark times in my life, you have e-been there for me. Even though I’ve read dozens of books and done loads and loads of programs and therapies, you have ‘the thing’. Yes there’s no magic bullet or pill, but sometimes, there is information that moves mountains. Thanks for your support during my journey out of depression and my recent diagnosis of breast cancer. You have eased my my experiences tremendously. I’m doing what you suggest because it has wokred and is working. Toronto, Canada

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