A New Way To Change

by Mark Ivar Myhre on November 5, 2010

In my search to find a way to completely end the shame, I discovered an entirely new way to change ANYTHING about myself – especially the really stubborn problems – and it’s about as easy as anything I’ve ever seen.

As I’ve mentioned a couple hundred times already, I used to have a slight problem with shame in this lifetime.

That is, if you define ‘slight’ as being too afraid to leave the house, and when you do, feeling like some sort of deformed monster who scares little children and fair women.  If you define ‘slight’ as living your life in a barb wire prison.  If you define ‘slight’ as suffering from just about every single emotional problem known to man.

Other than that, it really wasn’t too bad; if you don’t consider the physical damage it was doing to me as well.  I was riddled with shame the way Swiss cheese is riddled with holes.

I was dying a slow painful death of shame.

Other than that, it wasn’t too bad…

I couldn’t imagine living a life without shame.  And so I didn’t.



I was first introduced to the concept of shame (and healing it) back in 1996.  Before that, I didn’t know what my problem was exactly.

Once I found out, I started working hard to end it.  It was a long, slow slog.  Thanks to stubbornness and tenacity and help from above, I was able to get rid of 95% over the years.  But that last 5% just wouldn’t leave no matter what I did.

Compared to how it used to be, I was in Heaven.

But I still wasn’t satisfied, though.  Not as ALL.

Another thing that bugged me, was when I’d talk to people on the phone and tell them what to do to give their shame back, and then talk to them later and hear it helped ‘a little bit’.

Some people would have great results, but others would say, “well, I think it’s helping some”.

I know when you return the shame to the offender, you feel much better.  You return shame in chunks, and when you do return a chunk of it, you can FEEL the difference.  It’s exciting!   Because you see progress being made.

But it wasn’t working for everybody, and that bothered me.  I had to figure out what was going on.

I found two basic problems:

1. An inability (or unwillingness) to adequately feel your feelings.

2. A fear of giving up the shame, because in a perverse way, the shame keeps you ‘safe’.

Let’s briefly look at the first one.  Shame can physically impede your ability to feel.  You can begin to heal this by first being WILLING to feel – and then giving yourself PERMISSION to feel.  And then CHOOSING to let in your feelings.  Also, you can ask for help from above.

In fact, you’ll NEED to ask for help from a Higher Power to completely heal the shame. There’s no two ways about it.  Ask for help before you go to sleep at night, or ask in meditation.

Also, make sure you CHOOSE to be healed.  Make the conscious choice.  Because you HAVE to participate in your healing!  At least be willing; that can be enough participation.

And of course, sitting down and writing out your thoughts and feelings helps as well…

Now, for the main issue I wanted to talk about today – the big problem that held me back for years from healing my shame quicker.  It’s also the problem that kept the last 5% of the shame in my life.

I’m talking about your self image.  In this case, I’m talking about the image YOU hold of YOURSELF – and not the image you project onto others.  Which is something else entirely.

The image you hold of yourself is much more important.  So what is it?

Everything you THINK and FEEL and SAY and DO comes together to form a synergy.

A synergy, as you know, is where the WHOLE is greater than the sum of its parts.

In this case, your thoughts and feelings and actions come together to form an energy – a resonance – a synergy – that is more powerful than those individual thoughts and feelings and actions that make up this resonance.

So basically, you create your own self image out of your actions, behaviors, thoughts, feelings, and a few other energies as well. All of these different components come together to form a powerful resonance called your ‘self image’.

We NEED a self image – we need that cocoon of energy around us to help us know ourselves.  It helps keep things consistent and familiar.  It keeps us from having to wonder who we are all the time.

You’d go crazy without your self image.

But here’s the problem:

Your self image eventually becomes your prison. If your image never changes, then it becomes more and more restrictive.  You become more and more confined.  Your image can lock you in place and keep you from growing and changing.



You can try so hard to change your life, but if your image doesn’t change as well, then it will snap you back in place just like a rubber band.  An excellent example of this comes from the desire to lose weight.

You see people trying so hard to lose weight – suffering and struggling; going hungry; exercising themselves to exhaustion.  And even when they do succeed, the success is usually temporary.  Given enough time, they often return to where they started from – or worse.

Some people, however, find success and keep the weight off.  What’s the difference?

Those who keep the weight off were able to see themselves thinner.  And more than seeing it, they were able to change the other components of their image as well.  Which resulted in the KNOWINGNESS that they had indeed changed.

They don’t have to fear gaining the weight back, because they know they are different now.

“I’m not that fat person anymore.  I’ve changed.”

Rather than just fighting the symptoms (the excess weight) – they corrected the underlying source of the problem instead.

You go to the root to water the plant.

They lucked up and were able to change their self image – probably without even realizing they were doing so.  Sometimes the self image will indeed just ‘jump out in front’ of a person.  The image changes, then the person changes, and the person doesn’t even know why they were so successful.

Usually, however, that’s not the case.  Usually the image doesn’t just change by itself.

Up till now, there’s been no way to deliberately and effectively change your self image.  We’re just so intensely programmed to resist change.

Everything is different now.

I don’t pretend to be an expert on weight loss.  But I’m fast becoming an expert on this brand new technique of image changing.  I’ve seen it help people make more money, improve their relationship skills, reduce their fears, become much more confident, and just generally feel much better about themselves and their lives.

Oh yeah, and I’ve also seen it help with reducing the shame – one of the toughest challenges a person can face.  (Plus, when you reduce the shame – everything else changes for the better – with little or no additional effort!)

I’ve seen how powerful this new image-changing technique can be.

If there’s something about your life you just don’t like – something you want to change, then this is the way to do it.  Especially the difficult situations you’ve had to deal with for a long time.

The tough stuff – the things you’ve given up on changing because they’re too painful to keep fighting with – that’s the kind of stuff this new image-changing technique can heal.  Hey, if it works with shame – it’ll work with ANYTHING.

In fact, it’s turning out to be more powerful than I originally thought.

I still haven’t recorded it.  Instead, I’ve only been telling people about it over the phone.  I’ve been customizing it a little for each individual person.



I’ll be glad to talk to you, too, about this.  Then you can use it on yourself to make an easy and profound change in your life.  We can talk privately – one-on-one – over the phone or on Skype.

Just click on the link below to get started.

http://www.join-the-fun.com/consult-with-me.html

Changing your self image can change YOU in the easiest way possible.  But it doesn’t replace forgiveness.

Instead, this self image technique is the next step.

First you forgive yourself.  The forgiveness opens up the potential – the space – for change.

This self image technique fits into the newly-opened space that forgiveness creates.

It would be foolish to try to change your self image without first forgiving yourself.

If you haven’t yet learned how to forgive yourself, then I’ll get you up to speed when we talk.  Or, if you have already worked with forgiveness, then I’ve got a way to super-charge your results.  Either way, you’ll want to do this before you actually change your self image.

To get started, click on the link below.

http://www.join-the-fun.com/consult-with-me.html

{ 3 comments }

Jane November 6, 2010 at 10:14 am

I know this is where I must be at with my shame….I thoroughly enjoyed your comment on shame. I lived most of my life in shame.. I need to work on my self image and see it in a healthy way and not the shame way.
Thanks
Jane

Dippak Arya November 6, 2010 at 9:56 pm

Just amazing…thanks you…you gave me an insight into myself…I can explicitly see that its my self image that’s coming in my way…will work on it now.
Thanks again.

Natalia November 7, 2010 at 12:31 pm

Hi Mark!

This article has put everything together so clearly.Give back the shame!!!I like it!!!

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