Unconditional Love – What Stops It

by Mark Ivar Myhre on November 19, 2010

A very lovely woman asked me this question:

“I just got through taking care of a 5 month old with a very painful form of colic and was doing research on various treatments for him when I read your email about creating your own sinus pain.

“Do you think there is anyway your findings can be applied to a baby?”

Here’s what I think:

First of all, my daughter had colic and I remember very well what it was like.  Hey, it was only 23 years ago…!

I remember holding her in my arms and gently moving my body up and down.  It was the only thing I could think of that helped her.  Rhythmic movement.  Up and down.  Holding her and loving her unconditionally.

So what’s the bigger picture?

She knew she would be born to me.

We spoke months before she was born.  That’s how my wife and I knew it would be a girl.  She also told me a few things about how DNA works.

For example:

Eye color.  You have all these different options – for different colors.  You turn one switch on, and all the other options automatically turn off.  You flip on the switch for blue eyes.  You build your body, in other words.

Is that really true?

I don’t know.  But that’s the message I got from her.

Anyway, my daughter had colic.  She was also born three months premature.

So what do I know about the whole situation?  (Or rather, what do I believe to be true?)

My daughter knew I would be her father.  So of course she knew her mother as well.

My daughter knew who her parents would be.

So I guess that means everyone knows who their parents will be.

We weren’t special people in my family.  If this happened to us then it must happen to every one born – they know who their parents will be. And of course, the parents know who their children will be.  They know it before they even come down here to earth.

What does this have to do with colic?

If you know who your parent are going to be, then you must know other things about what will happen to you down here as well.

As I mentioned, Marissa told me things about how we select our own bodies.  She knew she would be premature.  So she must have known she would have colic.  It’s common among preemies.

Now, we know our conscious mind doesn’t come into play until we’re about five years old.  Before that, our subconscious runs the show. We function out of our subconscious mind for the first few years of our life.

Therefore, conscious choice has little influence. Choice is a gift – but we don’t realize it until we’re older.  In those early years, we’re running on automatic pilot.  We punch in the coordinates before we’re born.  Then we go to sleep.  We wake up in the body of an infant.

Except we don’t even really wake up.

Our memory’s been wiped out.

We’re pure raw energy.  Potential.  Possibility.

Power; without movement.  Without direction.

A seed.  A living, breathing energy.  And as a human, we’re going to be SO STRONGLY INFLUENCED by our parents.

And influenced by our peers.  And by our institutions.  Our schools.  And by society in general.

We punched in the coordinates.  Then we get born, and we get tweaked by the world.  And we knew we were going to get tweaked.

If we experience a painful colic, we had to have known we’d have that colic.  We had to have known it before we were born.  That’s the only option I can believe in.

Why we would do such a thing, I can’t say. Many different reasons.  Maybe you wanted to be born premature, and colic was part of the package.

What I try to do is just deal with the situation at hand in the best way I can.
For me, it was trying my best to unconditionally love the baby who’s going through the colic and screaming like crazy.

If I’m holding a baby who’s going through the pain – then I need to understand the real issue is not the baby, but me.  Cause the baby is loved and cared for in its own way.  The baby most likely knew I would be the one caring for it – and I was trusted enough to be put into that situation.

So the real issue is inside me. The baby’s fine.  That soul knew what it was doing.  Yes it hurts to see another person in pain.  But I need to see this from a higher perspective.

I’ll never fully understand while I’m down here, most likely.  It really is a mystery.  Is life really this cruel?  Or is life a Divine Play with a Divine Plan?

I choose to believe the latter.

Why are we born with amnesia?  There’s so many questions about life – so many things nobody knows

But I can do the best I can in the moment I’m in.  I can love.

In this case, I can love the baby unconditionally.  Focus not on the anguish – but on being a light bulb of love.  Imagine Divine Love coming into me – receiving Divine Love.  And then letting it radiate out from me into my environment.  Especially letting it radiate out from me and into the baby I’m holding in my arms.

Especially since those babies can feel you so strongly.  The baby feels what you feel.  And the baby trusted you on some level.

It’s a time to be strong; to feel unconditional love.

That’s what I did when I was confronted with the situation.  I knew I could never figure out WHY my daughter was premature, and had colic.

Since I couldn’t figure it out – and couldn’t change it – I decided to accept it.

Whenever I’m in a situation where it would be nice to have answers – but no answers are forthcoming – I try to opt for feeling unconditional love instead.

Otherwise, I’m liable to start making up stories.  And that’s when the problems begin.  Because so much of the stories come directly from my ego.  The fear stories, the anger stories, the hurt stories, the pity stories.

All designed to separate me from love, and to separate me from my TRUE feelings.

That’s what my ego does, and it’s fooled me a million times.  Finally I got tired of being a sucker and learned about my ego.  I learned what it REALLY is – and why I have one.  Most importantly, I learned how to take my power back from it so I could take charge of my life.

It made a world of difference.

You can know what I know.  It starts by going to –


Feeling unconditional love is the LAST thing my ego wants me to do.  Find out how I changed all that by going to –



Edie November 19, 2010 at 8:56 pm

Good story and what a healing way to deal with a situation. I hope I can remember to do it when in the midst of turmoil!

Gail November 19, 2010 at 11:19 pm

Mark you said, “Whenever I’m in a situation where it would be nice to have answers – but no answers are forthcoming – I try to opt for feeling unconditional love instead.”

“Otherwise, I’m liable to start making up stories. And that’s when the problems begin. Because so much of the stories come directly from my ego. The fear stories, the anger stories, the hurt stories, the pity stories.”

This made me laugh…A couple of days ago I noticed that I was not getting answers to some concerns that I had and I decided that was okay, I would just feel love and trust. A pleasant feeling came over me and suddenly I became aware that what I was doing was choosing to love and trust so that I don’t make up stories around lacking answers or lacking anything else.
It struck me as funny that tonight I’m reading your account of the same thing. It’s rather reassuring.
Later that day, right before going to sleep, I had a torrent of thoughts running though my head demanding attention, pressuring me for answers. Again, I chose to feel love and again I was rewarded with a moment of pure awareness and a feeling of joy. I felt very pleased with myself when I noticed it.
So often self examination, self inventory and even meditation reveal things inside that need to be released or forgiven. But, the other day in those moments of awareness, I was shown that I was doing something positive and beneficial, and I came away liking myself more.
There was a time when I didn’t like anything about myself. Thankfully that has changed and I now get affirming messages as well as corrections.
I’ve been reading your newsletter for months. I connect with the way you use your own real life examples to discuss the energy of emotions and thoughts.
Do you have one go to method that you use to “get it right” or do you do several things that work together?

Mark Ivar Myhre November 22, 2010 at 12:06 am

That’s a good question, and I’m going to think about it carefully and then write another article about it. Look for it soon!

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