What Blocks Processing

by Mark Ivar Myhre on January 31, 2011

After my last article on processing, I received the following question:

“thanks mark i just tried this it really helped out alot with sorting my thoughts.Is there a right way to do it because it seems like im writing to myself.”

I assume this question refers to processing in general, and not the brand new Power Processing technique I just made available.  But my answer should help out either way.

First of all, it’s helpful to have a goal in mind when you sit down to process.  Possible goals would include:

1.  I’m bored and I want to do something productive with my time rather than just watch TV.

2.  I want to bleed off some unpleasant emotion such as anger or frustration or fear or hurt.

3.  I want to understand myself better.

4.  I want to improve some area of my life.

5.  I want to express my love or joy or happiness in a productive way so it doesn’t just slip away.

6.  I want to grow and change and heal myself.

7.  I’m curious to know exactly what my raw materials are around a particular topic.

You could have one or more of these goals, or your intentions could be something else altogether.  But it helps to at least have some sort of direction and motivation when you sit down, even if it’s just to relieve boredom or satisfy curiosity!  Or your intention could be purely to see what comes up.  What’s the key here?  Intention. Having an intention.



Besides your intent, there’s also a major stumbling block I need to mention.  It’s the reason why people don’t ever process in the first place, or if they do, they simply end up with fluff instead of substance.  Are you ready for this?

The major stumbling block to processing is a lack of intensity.
That bears repeating at least a hundred times, but I’ll spare you for now.  Instead, let’s look at why someone might not have the intensity that’s required to achieve substantive results.

Well, it’s not that you don’t have it.  You do.  You do have intensity.  Everyone does.  But so often it gets confused with melodrama or some other fluff.   ‘Acting’ is not intensity!

You see someone in a rage, screaming and yelling, and think to yourself “Boy, that guy sure is intense!”

Actually, that’s not intensity.  It’s not my definition, anyway.  No, the raging person is acting out their melodrama.  It’s a distraction away from intensity.  It’s fluff.  But if you erroneously believe that’s what intensity is – raging out of control, or being out of control in some other way – well, then, of course you’re not going to give yourself the permission to get intense.

Who wants to look like an idiot?   Screaming like a baby who’s dropped its bottle?

Intensity is a reservoir, not a fountain.  Intensity is deep, not loud.  Intensity is quiet, not arrogant.  Intensity is wise, not stupid.  Intensity is productive and powerful.  It’s not venting.

But if you don’t know that, if you think it involves somehow losing control over your emotions, then of course you’ll block intensity.  “I’ve got it together.  Or, I want to have it together.  Or at least, I want to appear I have it together.  So I have no room for intensity in my life.”



Intensity is a reservoir. It takes great courage to step into that reservoir.  It’s much more alluring to vent and rage.  Make a production out of it.  Put on a show.  Be a teenager all over again.  Pretend you’re doing something.  Performance based, rather than value based.

It’s going to be scary to step into that reservoir.  For good reason.  That’s where your fear and pain lie.  And who wants that?  You might be scared.  You might get hurt.  You might even start crying.  You’ll certainly be out of control.  You’d have to be crazy to go for something like that.

So there you have the dilemma.  One one hand, it’s dumb to not get intense, because you separate from yourself and your power and so much of who you truly are.  And yet on the other hand, you’d almost be crazy if you actually do get intense.  Well, I’m not here to advocate insanity.  Instead, I want to convince you that you’ll be crazy like a fox if you actually will muster the courage to seek out your own hidden intensity, and allow it to come forth as you process.

Yes, there is fear down there in your hidden reservoir of intensity.  No doubt about it.  But for the most part, it’s from intense experiences of your past that were too frightening to feel at that time when the event happened.  Guess what?  You’re older and wiser now.  You’re bigger and stronger.  You can cope better.

You can handle those childhood fears now!  Or those adolescent fears.  Or even the fears from last week, for that matter.  You can handle it.  Think back with me.  Has there ever been a time in your life when you faced up to some fear?  Weren’t you always glad later on, after you faced it?  Didn’t it always turn out to be no big deal?  (Well, usually, anyway!  Of course there are always a few exceptions here and there…)

But you understand my point.  The fears are almost always bigger than the event you’re afraid of.  Besides that, if you don’t deal with those fears, they’re just going to get bigger and bigger, and confine you more and more, putting you into a smaller and smaller reality.  Do you really want that?

By not dealing with the fears that lie hidden within your intensity, your world will get smaller and smaller.  Your options will become more limited.  Your choices will become fewer.  Your range of possibility will become narrower.

You lose your freedom when you don’t deal with your intensity.

And the second reluctance to feel your own intensity; because there’s pain down there.  And it’s true.  There really is pain.  Well guess what?  That pain will spread just like the fear does.  They’re both too intense to just sit there.  The longer you put it off, the more pain you’ll end up having to endure.  Maybe your life already reflects a lack of dealing with your pain.

Do you really think things will get easier by continuing to avoid dealing with the problem head on?

Here’s the irony:

When you get intense, you release pain.

See?  It’s not like I’m telling you to go suffer and be in pain by facing your intensity.  No, I’m trying to tell you how to end the pain.  You release pain by owning it. And you own it by admitting it’s yours, and by feeling it as fully as you possibly can.

So what is intensity, exactly?   Feeling as fully as possible, so you can experience the full range of emotion in any given moment.  And then letting go of that moment.

Look, there’s a lot more than just pain and fear in your reservoir of intensity.  There’s a love beyond human comprehension.  Now that’s scary!  Love is much more frightening than pain.  That’s why we have so much more pain in the world, than we do love.

And there’s many other treasures and gifts waiting for you in your reservoir of intensity as well.  I’ll mention only one right now.  And this should be enough to motivate you to seek out and embrace your intensity.



Your power lies within your intensity.

Power, the ability and the willingness to act.  Not ‘power over’ someone else.  That’s manipulation; the complete opposite of what power really is.  Intimidation is a weakness used by the foolish to accomplish the unnecessary.  No, I’m talking about real power.  Where you feel alive – more alive than ever before.  Where you feel freedom.   Where you feel safe and secure.

You get things done when you retrieve your power from your intensity.

You can live the life of your dreams; a life that is almost unimaginable, and certainly not achievable, before you retrieve your power.  When you have your power, you feel wonderful.  You feel in charge of your own life, and that’s a priceless feeling.  If you’ll allow yourself to feel intensity, you can know that feeling for yourself.

You can live that feeling!  You can live that life!  You can be in charge of your own reality.  Not controlling it; but in charge of it.  Not dominating it, but living in dominion with it.  A peaceful coexistence, rather than a constant and never-ending struggle.

That’s the promise of what your power can do for you.

Now, the best way I know to get there, is to first start processing.  Processing gets you clear and clean.  Processing creates the space for you to achieve your true heart’s desires.

Back to the original question at the beginning of this article:

How do you do it ‘right’?  With intensity.  And getting intense starts with giving yourself permission to get intense.  That way, it goes way beyond ‘talking to myself’ – which is just fluff.  No, you’ll be speaking to a much greater part of yourself.  But that’s an article for another day.

For now, start with giving yourself permission to get intense – as you process, and as you live your life.

And what’s the ultimate way to process?  By using my brand new Power Processing technique.  To find out more about it, just click on the link below to watch the video presentation:

http://ivar.info/powerprocessing.html

all the best,

Mark

Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Coach
Want to talk about it? Click here
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{ 1 comment }

Zeynep February 1, 2011 at 5:23 am

Thanks a lot Mark . I like very much your articles.

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