If you want to heal – and enhance – any relationship in your life, then you’re going to want to read every word of this article. I’ve identified a key stumbling block that prevents us from having the kind of intimate relationships we all want. And I’ve also got a way to change it.
We all know how important relationships are. Heck, they’re practically the reason for living. Why bother to be here at all in this world if you had no relationships with others?
Well, for most of my life I didn’t see it that way at all. I thought I could spend my days being aloof and alone. And be quite content doing it. In fact, as a teenager, my only hope, my only vision for the future, was to be off in a cave up on some mountain top – peacefully sitting and praying and meditating all day long. Alone. Completely alone.
Too bad I started getting panic attacks from the loneliness…! Long before I ever really explored that whole adolescent fantasy, I came face to face with a hard dose of reality. I found myself in such a dilemma. I was scared to death of other people, yet I got panic attacks from being alone. Scared to death on one hand; panic attacks on the other. What a pickle!
There’s actually a word that describes a situation like this. It’s called glacis. A glacis is the neutral area between two opposing forces. And that’s where I lived. As I got older, I discovered to my amazement that I wasn’t the only one who experienced living in a glacis.
Many people find themselves in this predicament. We want loving relationships – we really do. Because it makes our heart sing. Along with a host of other reasons. But on the other hand, it opens us up to so much pain. Or the potential for pain. It makes us vulnerable.
Now, the vulnerability itself isn’t the problem. Rather, it’s our concepts of love and relationships and what it means to be vulnerable – that’s the problem. We learn early in life what happens when we open ourselves up. In one way or another, we really did get hurt.
And out of the intensity of that hurt, we form beliefs. We create beliefs that become the receptacles for the pain we don’t want to feel. Beliefs about love and relationships and how painful they are – or how painful they can be. And out of the beliefs, we develop attitudes about how we’re going to conduct our lives. And we also make fundamental choices and decisions that can last a lifetime.
We do this as a coping mechanism. It helped us survive our childhood and our adolescence. But now we’re all grown up. We’re smarter, more sophisticated. We understand so much more. We can cope now.
Unfortunately, the coping mechanism we created to survive our childhood has now become a prison. We’ve outgrown our survival mechanism. But it’s still there. It didn’t just go away. Hey, we built that mechanism with a LOT of intensity! It’s powerful. And it has no intention of dissolving just because it’s no longer needed.
When you build walls – when you build a fort to protect your very life – your very existence – and build it with every ounce of energy you can muster – it’s not going to just go away by itself. It’s too strong. There’s too much of you in those walls.
And yet, your heart longs for love and loving relationships. And your heart won’t stop the longing. It will always continue to yearn for the love that only comes from another. Yes, self love is wonderful. You need a certain amount if you want to survive. But there’s just something about loving and being loved by another. It makes your heart sing like nothing else can.
And that’s another glacis. Your heart’s desire, on one hand, and the walls of the fort you built as a child to keep you from fulfilling your heart’s desire on the other hand. What’s a person to do? Spend the rest of their life in misery; missing out on the wonder and joy of being loved by another?
(And just because you’re in some sort of co-habitation – even marriage – that doesn’t automatically mean you’re being loved or being loving. I’ve seen many married couples who aren’t in love. They just cohabitate because it’s convenient.)
Well, I would say the answer lies with dismantling those walls that prevent the richness and fulfillment of a loving relationship. Hey, why not? We all know we want love and loving relationships. Why don’t we just get rid of those walls?
If you’re ready – if you’re sick and tired of missing out – then there’s a few things you need to know before you can proceed. First of all, it’s not a simple matter of sneaking around the walls, or burrowing under them. It’s not even a matter of grabbing a sledgehammer and breaking them down.
Of all the different barriers we build in the various areas of our lives, the walls that prevent a richness of relationship can be particularly insidious. Look, what do you think those walls are made of? Sugar and spice and everything nice?
No. They’re made of fear and pain. Intense fear, and intense pain. They go to the very core of your being. They speak to who you are as a human being. And they’re quite powerful. They hold your power. A lot of your power has been locked up in these walls.
And since we’re all afraid of power, afraid of fear, and afraid of pain… well… You can see the challenge here. What ends up happening, sadly, is that we end up more afraid of the wall than we are of what’s on the other side.
When you see someone you’d like to be with, for example, it’s not this other person you’re afraid of. Rather, it’s the wall itself. That’s where the fear lies. Not with the object of the potential love, but with the wall that stands between the two of you. Right?
Look, up till now, nothing I’ve said is really that hard to figure out. It’s common sense if you take the time to look at it. (Admittedly, sometimes it takes a lot of time!) But anyway, here you are. Standing on your side of the wall. Looking over to the other side and seeing the potential of what your life can be once you get past this barrier.
And the question remains, what to do? How can you deal with this barrier?
Two ways I’ve already mentioned in previous posts can help. You can heal the part of you that blocks loving relationships. That’s a good place to start. You can read about it here and here and you can order the actual meditation here.
Also, you can break that resonance of fear that keeps you imprisoned. Because make no mistake about it, this barrier is a resonance. You can read about breaking the resonance here. Or you can just order that meditation here.
Today, however, I want to talk about a third way you can use. It’s called –
Unraveling And Releasing The Fear
Why am I talking about a third way, when I’ve already mentioned two others? Because it’s like chopping down a tree. Sometimes it helps to move around the tree a little bit, and start chopping in a new area. In other words, it makes it easier to succeed at what you want.
Another reason is because this method is a bit different and it may appeal to different people. You see, there’s a lot of intensity in this barrier. Also, it’s a bit complicated. It’s not simple. It needs to be broken apart.
Also, as I mentioned, there’s a lot of your power locked up in this barrier. You need to retrieve that power! You need your power! This exercise shows you how to take your power back.
Plus, as you unravel this mess, you’ll also find hidden treasures. Parts of your past will emerge. And yes, the power you placed there will be retrieved as well. But there’s also treasures you’ve forgotten. Treasures from long ago. What am I talking about?
Well, how much of your will and imagination are locked up in that barrier? How much of your creativity? How much of your value? Not to mention your dreams and visions, and your vitality. And what about your freedom? Your love? Your trust? These are some of the treasures that I can absolutely assure you, are there just waiting for you to retrieve them.
It’s kind of like going up to the attic, or down into the basement, and finding those specials toys and other artifacts from a lost childhood. And they’re yours! They belong to you!
With this brand new healing method, now you finally have the chance to go to that lost attic, or that lost basement, and take back what rightfully belongs to you. Treasures you can use today, and from now on – to live a better, more successful life.
So what does it involve? Because of the nature of the problem; because of it’s potency and difficulty and complexity, I’ve got a unique answer that involves both processing and a meditative technique.
Look, fear is scary because it’s unknown. What I’ve done here is to remove the unknown. I’ve thrown the curtain back so you can see your fear for what it really is. Remember ‘The Wizard Of Oz’? Dorothy and the others were so scared of the image being projected on the huge movie screen, until they discovered it was just a bumbling old man pretending to be so big and scary.
It’s the same thing here. I’m going to show you what your fear is really made of. I’m talking about your fear. We’re going to take it apart and study it. Learn from it. Then retrieve the treasures from it. And then heal that fear.
Remember how I wrote that fear is a threat and a jeopardy? I’ll show you what your threat is, and what is in jeopardy for you. There are seven potential threats. And besides the threats of fear, there are also seven completely different potential jeopardies. That’s 49 different potential combinations. We’ll find yours.
Just knowing exactly what is threatened in your life, and what is in jeopardy, can bring a renewed peace of mind. You’ll automatically feel safer. But that’s not all.
There are also seven different potential fuel sources for your fear. Again, we’ll find yours. And once you know what fuels your fear, you can shut off the fuel supply. And your fears will shrink as if by magic.
The best part of this whole process is that it can work for any fear in your life – not just the fears that lie hidden inside your barrier to relationships. So once you’ve unraveled and healed the fear of relationship, you can use it to conquer any other fear in any other area of your life.
For maximum effectiveness, it includes both a study guide and a meditation, to help insure your success. The whole process is broken down into four easy to follow parts, so you’ll never feel overwhelmed.
If you’re sick of being imprisoned by fear, if you’re tired of missing out on the depth of loving relationships you know you deserve, if you’re ready to retrieve all the missing treasures and powers that are rightfully yours, then click on the link below to change all that, starting today.
It’s only $17 for the complete package. It consists of a short workbook (in a PDF format) and an audio meditation (in an mp3 format) so you have instant access as soon as you order. And if you don’t like it for any reason, you can get all your money back anytime in the next 60 days.
Order now by clicking the link below.
If you want to understand your fear – so you can retrieve the hidden treasures and power from it – then you’ll love the study guide. It really breaks down the different categories of fear to help you know exactly what the real threat and jeopardy is in your life. Plus, just learning about your fuel supply will help you reduce the amount of fear you feel in your life.
Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Coach
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