What Is Forgiveness And Why Should I Care?

by Mark Ivar Myhre on February 23, 2011

Somebody just asked me what forgiveness is, and even though I must have answered that question somewhere before, I’ll take another stab at it.  Who knows?  Maybe I’ve learned something since the last time I wrote about it!

But first, why should you even listen to me? What makes me an expert on forgiveness?  Well, you might think I’ve done a lot of things for which I need to be forgiven.  And you’d be right.  I have done a lot for which I need forgiveness.  In fact, I still do a lot of things that call for forgiveness.  I’m human.  Humans make mistakes.

The way I see it, however, is that everyone has done a lot of things for which the best response would be to forgive themselves.  Of course, making mistakes doesn’t make you at expert at much of anything.  It’s how you respond to those mistakes.

In my case, I was highly motivated to end the pain, and I had the time to work on myself.  I could spend hours per day – every day – if I wanted to.  Plus, with my personality drive, it was a natural tendency for me to turn inward for answers to my problems.

When you don’t work, don’t have friends, don’t watch TV, and don’t care about sports or have any other hobbies, then there’s not much left to do but take walks and meditate.  (Yes, I’m exaggerating…!  But you get the point.)

By the time I first even entertained the idea of forgiveness, I must’ve already logged about eight or nine thousand hours in meditation, over a span of several decades.  Sitting in a dark room for several hours at a time seemed perfectly normal to me at the time, although I never talked about it.  I just did it.

Anyway, once I got the concept and the basic principles down, forgiveness really came alive for me.  I’ve long since lost count of how many times I’ve forgiven myself, but it must be several hundred, at least.  I’m talking about formally sitting down and going through the complete forgiveness process as described in The Magic Of Forgiveness.

That’s not counting the hundreds of times I’ve taken a shortcut and just gone to the resonance of forgiveness.

“Wow, Mark, you must really be messed up!”

Well, let me tell you… if you knew what I know about forgiveness…  if you felt the way I did… then you, too, would wake up in the morning and say,

“What can I forgive myself for today?”

And mean it!

Anyway, back to my original question – what makes me such an expert on forgiveness?  Because I live it.  Forgiveness is not a concept or a neat idea or some technique to end pain and increase my power and freedom.

Forgiveness is an integral part of my life. Knowing what I know about forgiveness, it would be incredibly stupid for me to not wake up in the morning and say, “What can I forgive myself for today?”

The way I see it, forgiveness is two things:

1.  Forgiveness is a living, breathing energy.

It exists, independent of the human condition.  If there were no humans on this planet; if there were no planet earth, for that matter, and even if there were no other planets with living, thinking creatures on them; forgiveness would still exist.

It’s like love.  Love is a living, breathing energy that waxes and wanes.  And love exists without humans to feel it.  That’s the way I see forgiveness.  It has its own unique resonance, just like love does.

Forgiveness is alive.  It moves, it breathes, it changes, it evolves.  Just like us!  Notice I didn’t say it thinks like us…  or that it thinks at all.  (Who knows?)  But it is alive.  It does have consciousness.  We (as humans) can have an effect on forgiveness, just as it can have an effect on us.

Forgiveness has a voice.  It has a presence.  It has warmth, and substance and light.  It has movement.  There’s a flow of forgiveness that’s always on.  And that brings me to the second point…

2.  Forgiveness is the process that people go through to access this living, breathing energy.

So, the word can be used as either a noun or a verb.  Just like the word ‘sun’.  The sun refers to the ball of light in the sky, (a noun), or you could say that you’re going to sun yourself, by basking in the warm glow of that ball of light. (A verb.)  Same here.

Forgiveness refers to the energy, and it also refers to the action you take that changes and heals you.  So what is this action?

Basically, it’s simply a matter of going to the energy of forgiveness. In practice, however, it’s not necessarily that simple.  When you’re first starting out, as I once was, forgiveness is not simple at all.  It’s actually a little complex.  And since we have a tendency to want things to be as simple as possible, that will preclude many from seeking and finding the energy of forgiveness.

I didn’t say it was hard.  Because it’s not.  And it’s not complicated, if you follow the steps.  In fact it can be easy.  What’s hard, in this case, is to try to keep forgiveness simple.

“Just go forgive yourself.  Just do it.”

See?  That’s simple advice. But it’s hard.  It’s easy to say the words, but saying the words doesn’t take you there.  Instead, you have to think and feel about what you want to forgive.  Honestly think, and honestly feel.  Without the stories and the lies and all the other nonsense that so often stands between you and forgiveness.

You have to go beyond blame and pity and judgment and righteousness. You have to want forgiveness more than you want to blame.  You have to want it more than you want the world to know how hard your life is.  And how much you’ve been wronged.  You have to want forgiveness more than you want what stops you from forgiving.

From my observations, most people would rather be angry than to forgive.  Or they’d rather punish themselves or others.

See, it’s not the forgiveness that’s hard.  It’s being truly honestly willing to forgive. That’s the hard part.  Once you’re truly willing, the rest is easy.  Or it can be.

My program called “The Magic Of Forgiveness” has always been my best selling product.  It outlines the exact steps to take – in minute detail.  Because there is an exact process you follow.  There are precise steps to be taken – in the right order – to lead you to the ultimate goal of forgiving yourself.  And then, later, if you wish, forgiving someone else.

It can seem a little cumbersome at first.  A little awkward.  Maybe even daunting.  Like learning to ride a bicycle.  That’s why I go into so much detail on how to do it.

But keep this in mind:  Once you learn how to ride a bike, it’s pretty darn easy.  You don’t even think about it.  You just do it.  It’s no longer awkward.  Or cumbersome.  And that’s how it can be with forgiveness.  You just hop on and get to it.

What if you’d never learned how to ride a bike?  Or never learned some other fun task that at first seemed impossible?  What would you be missing out on?  It’s the same thing here.

What I love most about forgiveness is the way it raises my resonance. It changes me; it lifts me above my current level of existence.  Maybe a little; maybe a lot.  Each time I forgive myself it’s different.  I never know for sure what will happen until after the fact.

And I expect to be going to the energy of forgiveness for the rest of my life.  In fact, my goal is to stay in a state of forgiveness.  As much of the time as I possibly can.  Not because I’m so bad and wrong and always making mistakes…

But because it feels so wonderful.  It’s a great place to be.  It reduces the pain and friction in life.  It keeps me from getting stuck in my misery.  It lubricates the emotions so they flow right through me.

I get to enjoy the benefit of all my feelings, without being at sufferance of them. And that’s worth a lot.  If you’d like to join me in this experience – this new way of living – then one way is by following the same means and methods I do.

It’s not the only way to forgive, I’m sure.  But it’s the best way I know of.  And it damn sure works for me.  And it works for many others as well.  If you’re willing to touch and be touched by the living, breathing energy of forgiveness, this will get you there.  Just click on the link below to get started.


Or, for my long-winded sales letter, click here –


Your choice!


Shellie Monroe February 24, 2011 at 4:44 am

I am struggling to forgive myself and a few other people; it is definitely a process. I wish I could take a pill or drink a “magic potion” and poof! Forgiveness takes place (I know, wishful thinking). 🙂

I recently came across two definitions of forgiveness that I love. The first is a quote by Lily Tomlin (I recently heard Oprah recite it on one of her shows) – “Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been different.”

The second is a quote in a daily reader (“Daily Affirmations for Forgiving and Moving On”) – “Forgiving simply means that I am willing to live my life from today forward without unwittingly recreating and replaying old scripts that I hold in my unconscious.”

Last year I purchased your book, “The Magic of Forgiveness: How to Forgive Yourself.” I struggle with owning my past and resist forgiveness because it brings up pain. It was horrible when I went through it the first time, reliving it seems counterproductive — why do I want to go through it all over again?

I am grateful for your book and your blog; they are helpful as I go through the process of forgiving myself and others.

Mark Ivar Myhre February 24, 2011 at 11:02 am

Hi Shellie,

you ask a very good question about pain, and going through it.

That’s a topic very dear to my heart, so I’ll think about it today and write a comprehensive response as the next blog post.

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