Worry Quotes

by Mark Ivar Myhre on May 24, 2011

Do you find yourself worrying a lot?  If so, I’ve prepared some ‘worry quotes’ to give you something to think about.  But before I list them out, it’s important to understand a little background about worry and the difference between it, and thinking and feeling.

You see, we’ve been taught and conditioned to believe that our feelings are bad and wrong and we shouldn’t have them.  Or at the very least, we’ve been taught that feelings have little or no value.

Manipulate them, stuff them down, put them aside, get over them… anything but feel them!

And that creates a lot of problems.  Your feelings are just too powerful.  It’s like playing with dynamite when you start messing with them.

Feelings are meant to be felt! It’s so obvious.  And yet, so overlooked.

Here’s the thing:  You have a flow of feelings that is always ‘on’.  Your feelings are always flowing.  Just like your thoughts are always flowing.  In fact, they’re flowing through the same pathway.

There’s a constant stream of thoughts and feelings flowing into you right now.  But we have a tendency to believe that only the thoughts have value.  Therefore, we tend to try to think our way out of feeling. We want to throw that dynamite into the closet.  We have a tendency to treat our feelings like garbage.



Feelings are some sort of weird side effect of life that surely can be dealt with in a ‘mature and responsible’ manner.  Surely there’s some way we can control our feelings with our powerful and valuable thoughts.

What a recipe for disaster! Depression, anxiety, and so many more issues; so much emotional pain; comes from trying to control our feelings so we don’t have to feel them.  Which brings me to the first ‘worry quote’ –

“Worry is a way to not feel your feelings.”

Worry is one way we use to stuff or block our true feelings.  It’s an attempt to think our way out of feeling.

“Worry is like running on a hamster wheel.”

You go round and round in circles, but you never get anywhere.  I’m sure you’d agree.  So the real question is, why in the world do we do it then?  Why don’t we just stop it?  Because we’re getting some sort of benefit out of it – some sort of payoff.

Here’s some of the reasons we worry, even when we know we shouldn’t:

“Worry is an attempt to control the future.”

If I worry, then maybe nothing bad will happen.  Somehow, some way, my worrying will keep me and the ones I love safe.  It’s an interesting philosophy.  As long as you don’t look at it too closely, that is. Because if you do, you’ll quickly realize worry can’t possibly help anything.  Then you’ll have to start looking at what’s underneath your faulty belief about worry having value.



“Worry proves I care.”

If I worry about you, that shows how much I love you.  I’m concerned about your welfare.  Again, it’s a faulty belief that’s usually learned early in life.  Basically, it goes back to the beliefs we form about love equaling pain.  You see…

“Worry is a form of struggle.”

And the more I suffer and struggle, the more that demonstrates my love.  Or so I believe.  So I’ve been taught.  The faster I run on that hamster wheel, the more it shows my love.  Can’t you see how much I’m suffering?  Can’t you see how much I love you?

“Worry helps me not feel the anger I anticipate I’ll have in the future.”

I’m a nice guy.  I really am.  I don’t want to get angry.  But I probably will.  So to avoid feeling that anger, I’ll just worry instead.  Worry for a hundred hours, so I won’t feel two minutes of anger.  Yes, it hurts.  Yes, it’s a waste of time.  But hey – at least now I won’t have to be responsible for my anger!

“Worry covers up my lack of deserving.”

Let’s not kid ourselves.  I know I don’t deserve.  I don’t deserve love.  I don’t deserve the best life has to offer.  And that worries me.  See, I don’t want to look at my issues of undeserving.  That’s too painful.  I think I’ll just distract myself by worrying instead.

Now, as you look at all these worry quotes, you’ll see they have one thread in common:

“Worry offers a way to avoid responsibility.”

And there’s a few problems with avoiding responsibility.  First, if you refuse to be responsible for your life, then some other part of you has to step up to the plate.  Such as, your ego or your inner child or your inner martyr.  Not good.



Second, you avoid living life to the fullest.  You miss out on so much of what life has to offer.  It’s like living half a life.  You lose the depth of life.

Third, responsibility is the most fun you can have in a human body.  It gives so much more than we think it takes.  I’ve found the feeling of responsibility – the pure feeling of it – to be one of the best feelings in the world.  But that’s just me.  Plus, your heart longs for it.

So what to do about worry?

“The tonic to worry is to feel grateful.”

Yes, just old-fashioned gratitude.  If you’ll choose to feel grateful for – well, for something, anything – that can take you out of worry.  That’s one thing you can do.  Another option –

“Stop the worry and instead focus on what’s making you angry”

It’s okay to get angry!  It doesn’t make you a bad person.  It just means you’re human.  Hey, you don’t have to dump it on anybody.  You can just write it out, or simply work on feeling the anger without telling yourself a story about what’s ‘making’ you feel this way.

Work on separating the anger from the event that precipitates it.  Also, here’s another tactic…

“If you don’t deserve, be willing instead.”

Willingness is the answer to undeserving.  Look, it can be hard to really, truly feel like you deserve.  Don’t kid yourself.  But the back door to feeling deserving is to just be willing instead.  You can always be willing.  For anything.

“I know I don’t deserve love, but I’m willing to have it!”

“I don’t deserve to be rich – but I’m willing to be rich!”

See how it goes?

Willingness can lead the way.  In fact, it always leads the way.  You can have whatever you’re willing to have.  Deserving will come.  And while I’m being willing, I can always work on undeserving (and so much of the other problems that worry perpetuates). I can always forgive myself.

And finally, what to do about the worry of the unknown of the future?

“You can always surrender and trust in a Higher Power rather than worry.”

The choice is always up to you.

The unknown can be quite scary.  Okay, let it be.  Let me face it as a mature adult.  Maybe I will get mowed down.  But maybe I won’t.  I don’t really know.  But at least I died trying.  I know I did the right thing – the real thing.  And isn’t that what it’s all about?

To sum up all these worry quotes –

“It’s not about finding a way to get more comfortable on the hamster wheel of worry; it’s about stepping off the wheel.”

And you do that by choosing to be responsible for your feelings.  Your true feelings.  Not worry-generated sensations.  Be willing, and then choose.  That’s my opinion.

all the best,

Mark

Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Coach
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{ 9 comments }

Steve May 24, 2011 at 9:20 am

I appreciate all that you send to us. I suffer from clinical depression with occasional anxiety. When I’m in the midst of these monsters, nothing seems to help-even the meds are reduced to mere aids, and not cures.
Are your suggestions supposed to cure us of this heavy duty stuff?
If so, what am I doing wrong?
Steve

Mark Ivar Myhre May 24, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Well, I have a bunch of different small mailing lists.

I just add them all together when I send out a message about a new blog post.

The mailing list for depression (which I guess you’re on) is about 15% of my total list.

So when I send out those emails, I don’t necessarily have those who are seriously depressed in mind. Actually, most blog posts are just answers to questions that people send me.

Therefore, no – I don’t expect ‘worry quotes’ to cure you of heavy duty stuff. For depression, I would first keep listening to that depression meditation that I make available to everyone on the ‘handling depression’ mailing list.

You can sign up at –

http://www.join-the-fun.com/handledepression.html

if you’re not on that list.

If I were depressed, I would be listening to it three times a day. Every day.

Also, depression is going to require a whole new mindset.

A lot of it involves a new way of relating to your feelings. The more we try to block them, the more we end up in emotional pain and depression. (My opinion.)

A person’s self image gets tied in here as well. We start seeing ourselves as the depressed person, and can’t imagine being anyone else. The self image is a big problem.

Also, when I was depressed, pity and victimhood kept the depression locked in place because that kept me from feeling my true feelings.

Also, beliefs play a huge role in depression as well. Many people have written me over the years, arguing for the serotonin deficiency theory. The premise being,” I am a victim of my brain chemicals”.

Technically speaking, brain chemicals cause the depression – in the sense that the light switch and the wiring makes the light turn on and off. But the bigger picture is –

the light switch must be turned on by someone’s hand.

I would say rather than brain chemicals CAUSING the depression I would instead say that’s how the mechanism of depression is carried out.

Now, the conclusion some would say is – “You’re blaming the victim.”

I, on the other hand, would say, “No, I’m handing them the keys to get out.”

Obviously, there’s quite a bit more to say about depression. More than I can get into in this blog comment. I’m in the middle of writing a whole new website about depression and when it’s ready I’m sure I’ll write a blog post about it here, to announce it.

Mark Ivar Myhre May 24, 2011 at 3:49 pm

Here’s something I just ran across from Brian Tracy concerning worry.

It was in an email written by John Wood, a Freelance Copywriter.

And Tracy shares with us what he calls the “Master Method” for doing so, which he says more people have used to alleviate worry than any other method in history. It’s a four-step process beginning with:

Step One – Define what you are worrying about. Tracy tells us to clearly write out what you’re worrying about. He says that over 50% of the time, once your source of worry is defined, the solution will leap out from the page at you.

Step Two – Write down the worst possible outcome. Tracy suggests drawing a line down the middle of a piece of paper. On the left side, write down the problem (or problems), and on the right side, write down the worst possible outcome(s). He says that once you identify the worst possible outcome, “all of the stress will go out of your worry situation, like air going out of a balloon.”

Step Three – The next step is to resolve to accept the worst possible outcome should it occur. If the worst possible outcome does happen, tell yourself that you’ll learn to live with it. And once you accept it, you have nothing left to worry about.

Step Four – Begin immediately to try to improve the worst possible outcome and do everything in your power to make sure it doesn’t happen. Here is where the transformation takes place. You go from someone who was focusing on negative thoughts and emotions to someone who is taking purposeful, positive actions towards a solution.

Billy Shaw May 27, 2011 at 7:50 am

I have been worried very much since 2nd September 2008, that being, the day my wife and children left me. Since then I have followed various paths to have them back with me. At last, I’m finally in a position to KNOW that they will soon be back and as these final days and weeks continue and I clear the last few hurdles I know I shouldn’t worry so I don’t anymore.

Mark Ivar Myhre May 27, 2011 at 8:02 am

Hi Billy – glad to hear it!

Billy Shaw May 27, 2011 at 8:47 am

Sometimes wonder what I would do without your wisdom.

Mruga Shah June 2, 2011 at 9:05 am

Mark – I appreciate you writing this article. I read your blogs time to time. I feel like I am in such a rut. I can’t stop worrying about my future and I lose a lot of sleep. Once I get into that mindset, it takes me hours to get out of it. I will try the exercise that you suggested about writing the worse possible outcomes. I have really high anxiety all the time and I don’t want to live my life this way. Its so difficult to break out of this. I’m trying so hard everyday.

I really do appreciate that someone can relate to me. It gives me a lot of comfort to read these emails.

talib June 8, 2011 at 6:26 am

i really appreciate you for your writings and you really provide motivation

Teubner August 13, 2011 at 1:55 am

Its excellent.
I like : the thoughts are always on and tolerated, even encouraged, the feelings which appear just the same constantly put away by a person who has not had the chance to get a spiritually valuable education.

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