Emotional Healing Technique – Step 1

by Mark Ivar Myhre on June 28, 2011

Maybe you’re suffering from some sort of emotional pain, like I used to deal with on a daily basis.   If so, then let me tell you the starting point for how I was able to turn it around completely so that now I love my emotions – every single one of them.

Life is an emotional experience. Period.  Nothing is more important than how you feel.  In fact, it’s the ultimate motivation for everything we do.

It took me a long time to figure that one out.  But once I did, my life changed, ever so slightly.  Why?  Because emotional healing became my highest priority.  I knew if I felt good than I could probably do and have and be anything I wanted.  Plus, I had a ton of emotional pain.  So finding emotional healing techniques became the focus of my life.

And find them I did!  Some worked; some didn’t.  But in this article I’d like to explain what I consider to be the starting point – the best technique that everyone needs to know to get started on the path of feeling better.

But rather than a specific action you take, instead it’s a mindset you adopt. It’s a new way of looking at your emotions.  Why is this so important?  Because it sets the stage for all your future attempts of emotional healing.  It’s the foundation for all your efforts.  If your foundation is faulty, then your efforts will not be nearly as effective as they otherwise would be.

But with a strong foundation you can build the structure you want.  The ‘structure’ is feeling better.  Feeling awesome, in fact.  Where your feelings are filled with awe.

It feels wonderful to feel all your feelings.

The more you feel the better you feel.

And what’s this foundation I keep talking about?

Well, it’s not a matter of trying to feel nothing;  going numb.   No.  Instead it’s the exact opposite.  It’s a matter of feeling everything.



When you’re willing to feel everything, then you can usually get to the place where you’re able to feel whatever you want, whenever you want. Maybe not 100%, but pretty darn close.

That may be the greatest secret of emotional healing.  It’s certainly the foundation of all emotional healing techniques.  (The ones that work, anyway!)

I know it seems counter-intuitive and probably goes against everything you’ve ever heard about your emotions.  Everybody says you’re supposed to control your feelings so they don’t control you.  But that’s a sucker’s game and you’re guaranteed to end up in pain if you even try.  Isn’t your life already proving that?

Here’s the thing:

Emotions are the source of your power. Emotions are powerful.  And they’re meant to flow.  When you attempt to block that flow, you’re going to get burned in some way.

Any attempt to block or manipulate or control your emotions will result in some sort of emotional pain.  Instead, you want to open up the flow and let the feelings into your heart.



The secret is to open your heart full and wide.

There’s a flow of emotion that’s always ‘on’.  Emotions are meant to flow into your heart, where they are then ‘processed’.

Then they can pass through you.  Then the flow can happen, and you’ll feel more alive and much, much happier.

Let your heart do the job it was intended to do!

When you shut down your heart, or wall off your heart, or block the flow of emotion in some other way, that will create some sort of emotional discomfort.  Pain.  Despair.  Suffering.  Anguish.  Whatever.

The key here involves your willingness to feel.  Feel it all.  Let your heart heal your emotional pain.  It’s the only way I’ve found that really works – and I’ve been intensely studying this for years.   My pain was severe.  Now it’s a distant memory.  I’m telling you – this works!

But it’s easier said than done.  I know how much resistance there is to opening up your heart.  (Which will be the subject of my next post.)  For now, let me conclude by mentioning one thing that really helped me a lot, which was to remove the wall that surrounded my heart.

See, many years ago we put up barriers to keep out the pain.  Maybe we needed them at the time.  Maybe they kept us from going crazy or worse.  Maybe the wall allowed us to survive.



But what was once our liberator has now become our captor.  What was once our freedom has become our prison.  And what a painful prison it is.  The wall that surrounds your heart has now become a source of emotional pain.

Fortunately, you can remove that wall fairly easily.  And understand, it’s not a matter of busting through it.  Instead, it’s a matter of getting rid of it.  Big difference there!  Because if you don’t get rid of it, it’ll keep pumping out the pain.

A few years back I recorded a meditation that shows you exactly how to find your wall and remove it.  I guess you could call it a ‘creative visualization exercise’.  The recording quality isn’t the best since at the time I only had a cheap $40 microphone, and I hadn’t practiced speaking in a ‘meditative voice’.

But the content itself is pure gold.  The actual journey it takes you on can be life-changing.  And the results speak for themselves.

Besides, this isn’t something you have to keep listening to over and over.  Once, twice, maybe three times should be enough for most people.

This can give you a brand new start to feeling better.  If this sounds like you, then click here to order directly, or for more information click on – healing emotional pain.

Do you absolutely positively need this meditation?  No.  You’ve made it this far in your life without it.  I’m sure you’re getting by.

But once you remove the wall around your heart, your life will change for the better.  For me, when I first punched a hole through that wall and stuck my head through, I felt a cool refreshing breath of fresh air, and I realized how stagnant my life had been up till that point.  But that’s just me.

Anyway, getting back to the main point of this article, if you’ll just be willing to feel everything, then sooner or later you can feel what you want.   That’s what I really want to impress upon you.

Then after you’ve adopted this new mindset of being willing to feel it all, you can practice various other emotional healing techniques, if you wish.

But as I always say, if you want to heal, you gotta feel.  There’s no way around it.  So to sum up, the foundation of all emotional healing is to be willing to feel everything.  Bring it all into your heart, so that your heart can do its job of processing those feelings.

That’s what I think.  What’s your opinion?

all the best,

Mark

Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Coach
Want to talk about it? Click here
Uh, you are on my email list, right? If not, Click Here right away to get connected to all kinds of cool stuff.




AddThis Social Bookmark Button

AddThis Feed Button

Bookmark & Share

Please rate this page by clicking on one of the links below.

Comments Closed

{ 19 comments }

Amanda June 29, 2011 at 9:39 am

So true otherwise you “act out” those emotions with all the damage that can mean for yourself and others and you never really discover the real you.

It would be very interesting to hear you talk about what “feeling” really means.

Mark Ivar Myhre June 29, 2011 at 10:15 am

Hi Amanda,

good to hear from you!

The word ‘feeling’ – as a verb – means (IMHO) to allow any type of energy into your heart. Feeling is what happens when your heart processes energy. From what I can tell, your heart converts energy into matter. And in the process, it raises your resonance, at least slightly.

Even feeling the most awful horrible pain will raise your resonance as that pain is gobbled up by your heart.

Or course I realize that most people use the word ‘feeling’ to refer to various ‘sensations’. We say we ‘feel’ pain – and we want it to go away. Or we ‘feel’ bad emotions and we want to stop feeling them.

To me, ‘feeling’ – by definition – means to bring the energy into my heart. And also, by definition, the energy will be changed.

To ‘feel’ pain means to end pain. That’s how I see it. To not ‘feel’ pain means the pain lingers and festers.

What most would call ‘feeling pain’ – I would say, more precisely, is to ‘experience pain’. Because if you truly felt it (according to my definition!) then it would end.

I’ve never been able to feel the same thing for very long. Because in my experience, ‘feeling’ means that whatever you’re feeling is not going to last. It WILL change. That’s what ‘feeling’ does.

Even love, if felt, will be released by your heart. Your heart doesn’t hold onto anything. It’s all about the FLOW.

You can feel a flow of love – but you can’t feel the same love for any length of time. To sum up:

Feeling happens when the flow of energy moves into your heart and your heart processes that energy.

The key, obviously, is to open up your heart and let it do its job.

Melissa June 29, 2011 at 12:30 pm

I’ve come to this conclusion myself during all my years of counseling. I keep saying that my head gets in the way of my heart. If I’d just think/feel with my heart, then it wouldn’t be so hard. The hard part, I find, is constantly reminding myself of this because for so many years I have let my head lead the way.

William Moore June 29, 2011 at 1:59 pm

Mark, Why not just upgrade this one product?

Failing that, why not make it available as a free download?
<>

Thanks

William Moore

Mark Ivar Myhre June 29, 2011 at 7:05 pm

Hi William,

why don’t I upgrade the product?

Such a simple question!

First, it’s not *that* bad! Of the hundreds of copies I’ve sold, I can’t recall anyone asking for their money back. (Although I could be mistaken.) But the real reason is because I’ve got a list of dozens of things/projects I could be working on. I list everything out, and assign it a rating of 1 to 10 in terms of both urgency and importance. I multiply these two ratings together and from that number, I rank all my tasks. That determines what I work on.

Periodically, I review and update my list. Anyway, redoing this meditation is down on the list. I plan on rerecording it once I get a membership site together that will contain many meditations besides just this one.

I know I could drop my current projects and rerecord this meditation right now, but I choose not to. I do much better by focusing on one project at a time.

Now, why not make it available as a free download?

I never thought about it. I do have two free meditation downloads right now, but even if I made this one free, I’d want to rerecord it first.

On a similar note, I used to always give away products whenever someone asked me (nicely). Now, I simply ask that someone write an article for me, then I’ll provide the product in question at no charge. Very, very few people are willing to accept my offer. Only one or two that I can remember. It’s an interesting phenomenon that I find hard to explain.

Dianne Wylesky June 30, 2011 at 6:56 am

Hi Mark;
I agree with feeling your feelings. I myself was diagnosed ten years ago with PTSD. However, the Dr. did not nor the therapist do anything about it. I ran into a serious problem this past couple of months. I was barely functioning and knew I could not go on the way I had been for around six months. I didn’t want to go anywhere……….did not feel safe anywhere. I had become stuck. I went to therapy where the therapist used the methods used for veterans with PTSD and I faced being molested at age 9. I felt ALL MY FEELINGS and it took a couple days at home to do it. I did not know I had suppressed all these feelings but I had. I am off the two antidepressants that I had taken for years and I had been on and off antidepressants for years. I am the one that decided to not take them anymore even though the Dr. and therapist thought I should continue them. I am still off of them and facing any feelings that now occur. I got tired of trying to deny what I was feeling and was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I have felt alot better and of course, there was more to come. We dealt with abandonment issues which gave me alot of problems for years. I have written and journaled when need be and its really helped. I agree with feeling our feelings. I believe now its the only way to heal the child within and the adult who is present. thankyou. Dianne

Mark Ivar Myhre June 30, 2011 at 7:04 am

Thanks for sharing, Dianne!

You say the therapist used the methods used for veterans with PTSD. I’m very curious as to what it took to get you to feel all your feelings.

Dianne Wylesky June 30, 2011 at 7:29 am

I remember asking the therapist what would happen if I did not return and she said she would call me. I knew I did not want to face the molestation. I don’t know how I knew, I just knew. She sent me home with homework every week. She said to me, “you wanted to face this, right?” I said yes even though I really didn’t want to. I “THOUGHT” I had faced all of it. I had talked about it for years on and off. Felt so much anger when I’d see a show on it or discussed it with anyone. It actually happened what I’d call accidently. I was journaling and all of a sudden, I started to feel so much pain inside. I called my husband to come home when I started to have chest pain, I was afraid I’d have a heart attack. He came home and was walking towards me and I said to him……….I just need you to be here in case you need to call an ambulance because I have been having chest pain.” I said……….don’t touch me right now. Just let me feel my feelings. And I did. After I was done feeling those feelings, thats when I realized that I screamed out in pain to god when I was being molested………..I did not make a sound outloud when it was happening. Just in my mind. I let it all out this time and did not hold anything back. I was in ALOT OF PAIN. Prior to seeking therapy, I had run across things that you had written on the internet and ordered things you had written and had already started some of the reading and some of the listening to things you verbally discussed and done some exercises. I don’t know, maybe the seeds were planted with everything I was doing with your writings and exercises to do. I guess it makes sense, doesn’t it? I had not thought about it before about what prompted me to do this. An ex of mine from yrs ago had talked to me himself about feeling my feelings and that it was like a river and if it gets stopped up, you need to break free from what is causing it to stop flowing. I really didn’t get all he was saying. When I started to do the exercises and reading what you have written……..it was like it all was starting to sound very familiar.
Through therapy, we talked about how there were layers of pain which there was. It was like it all built up and was causing me to barely function anymore. I was afraid of even going out to the road from our front door. I was afraid of people period. I did not trust anyone anymore. I thought I was protecting myself until I finally sat down and told my husband how bad it had become. He knew I was not doing hardly anything anymore, he just didn’t know how bad it had become. I was ashamed to admit it.
I am glad you have been doing what you are doing to help others. I hope it reaches many and gets people to think about it. I know it has worked for me.
I started a new family Dr. who was kind enough to listen to me when I first started therapy….I was VERY EMOTIONAL. She shared a story about her son who was diagnosed with bi-polar. He was friends with a boy who was retarded. Her son said………….the difference between him and I is that I know I am broken and he doesn’t. Thats all it took for me because I knew THEN………….that I was broken. I really broke down when I heard that.
When I went through feeling my feelings that had to do with being molested, I journaled and processed all of it. The one thing I said to myself was this…………” I WILL NOT BE BROKEN”………….I WILL STAND UP FOR MYSELF AND LEARN HOW TO PROTECT MYSELF FROM ABUSIVE PEOPLE. I still get emotional when I talk about certain things. Its because its so important for me to stand up for myself. I had not learned that before. I was taught from early on to be a victim and to just take everyones abuse.
Thankyou for listening. I still get carried away when I talk about any of this.
Don’t stop what you are doing. What you are sharing is definitely the right track with getting healthier. thankyou. Dianne 🙂

Mark Ivar Myhre June 30, 2011 at 8:10 am

Thanks so much for sharing! That’s a very inspiring story.

kay June 30, 2011 at 12:54 pm

It certainly makes sense to feel your feelings and let them move through you and out. So, does your meditation tape guide you in doing that? The major feeling that I have is “sadness.” I’m not sure where it comes from, but it pops up in my life a lot. I “feel” sad about a lot of things and tears well up when I see/hear of something sad. So, am I not actually feeling this sadness? Because according to you, it would go away if I were. I feel sad/sorry for other people who are suffering, I feel sad for abused animals, I feel sad (for far too long) about the loss of a pet, etc. Is all my crying and sadness not the real thing?

Mark Ivar Myhre July 4, 2011 at 9:41 pm

I know how you feel, because I used to cry a lot and feel sadness in a lot of situations myself. What I finally discovered is that I had what I called ‘scars’ on my heart. Little scar tissue that would easily get activated in the day to day living of life.

So is that not ‘feeling’ – because it keeps happening?

Well, you’re definitely feeling something!

For me, I felt like I had a splinter in my heart. I did reduce it quite a bit, but not through this mediation on ‘Removing The Wall That Surrounds Your Heart’

I call that situation you’re in – “the grief that will not end”

It’s not a simple situation, and I’ll write a whole article on it. I’ll call it
The Beautiful Sadness

I’ll write it soon.

kay June 30, 2011 at 1:06 pm

I would like to add a note to my above post after reading your link to “healing emotional pain.” You say that one should love and look forward to their emotions. I went to a year of a certain kind of therapy called “Lifespan Integration.” The therapist and I agreed that the therapy was not working for me and it ended, but only after a year of weekly sessions where I cried and cried. I came out of each session feeling better, but I would cry again at the next session. It actually felt good to cry and it felt even better afterwards. But I’m still in the same place of sadness just popping up for me in random situations (like just driving down the road with nothing sad happening necessarily).

Mark Ivar Myhre July 4, 2011 at 9:43 pm

Yes, that would happen to me – driving down the road when nothing bad was happening, and I would just start crying. Let me think on it a few days and see if I can remember what it was I did about it.

Amy July 1, 2011 at 7:25 pm

Hi Mark!

🙂 Thank you SO MUCH for your postings. All of them!

They are what keeps me sane because I had this longstanding issue of my twin sister becoming a Muslim — she will be marrying an Algerian man 19 years younger. In one of an email from her, she said that our extended hearing family members support her and told me that my hearing family doesn’t like my Muslim rants… She is right. My extended family doesn’t really think much of me nowadays. Maybe it’s because I am more deaf/mute… maybe because of my Muslim rants… maybe it’s because my twin is living with them and she IS charismatic and influential. I will never know. I think it’s a good thing — the less I know why, the better.

I would like to mention something to get this off my chest… As painful as it WAS to know that when Osama was killed, my twin sister cried and was really upset about Osama’s death. THAT was what motivated me to heal myself. So, as of over few months, I’ve slowly let her go – now as of today… she’s dead to me. And I’ve never felt so much better and your Forgiveness ebook is what really helped me get over the attachment to her and the anger about this whole thing. Totally worth it.

The reason I had hard time letting my twin sister go is because after my mom passed away 11 years ago. My mom was my sole interpreter between our hearing family and me. She signed everything and voiced for me. So I shifted my communication/language dependence onto my twin sister and I depended on her to bridge communication between me (a deaf person) and my hearing-able family.

I probably will never see my hearing family and twin sister again… and that’s okay. Irony of it is that they are fluent in other languages, but I realized that they never bothered to learn American Sign Language.

I’ve stopped the Muslim rants and I really like the new me, more positive and pleasant. Only if they knew…

I am feeling all alone but in a good way. Strangely as a stronger person.

But hey, your postings are my family!! 🙂

<3 hugs hugs hugs to you<3

Mark Ivar Myhre July 4, 2011 at 9:58 pm

Hi Amy,

thanks for your comments!

That’s interesting – I never heard of anyone crying because Osama Bin Laden was assassinated.

Glad the forgiveness ebook helped.

Amy July 5, 2011 at 2:53 pm

:-/ Yeah, she announced that in her Facebook status message. She claimed that she is an “Empath” and felt pain when people cheered for Osama’s assasination. When I pointed out the error of her thinking system… she deleted me from her Facebook. In email, I explained to her that the nature is “perfect” — for example, Chimpanzees waving sticks and screaming at an enemy they fear. It is undeniable nature of survival. She replied back that it is evil to fight evil.

It was pointless to talk to her after that! How am I supposed to feel or respond to her so instead, I turn to your blogs rather than turn to prozac to numb my feelings/emotions.

(Proud to say that I’ve been prozac free since 2004 after stumbling onto your blogs!)

P.S. Last words I told her, “Empath people do not declare they’re empath… Humble people do not declare, “I’m humble”. Action speaks volume by itself. Declaring who you “are” only invites unwanted critique.

Mark Ivar Myhre July 5, 2011 at 3:15 pm

yes. and technically speaking, I don’t think an empath is one who feels pain while others are cheering. I see an empath as someone who feels – or is at least sensitive to – what others are feeling.

J.Heinrichs July 2, 2011 at 12:28 pm

Another great read Mark. Thank you. So whats my opinion??? hhhhhmmm Your right! My 2 cents is this. Beliefs. Most of us are taught to believe or follow laws from day one. But did we ever get the chance to agree to these beliefs or laws. I personally do not believe many things I was told. Listening to our gut / beliefs can be difficult in our world today. (Im referring to the USA) Our media has begun creating a whole new world of false beliefs / standards / laws. Our government…… well I wont go there. At 36 Im finally finding myself. I like my beliefs. They feel just and fair. But trying to hear them takes time. the mind is like 1000 tv screens playing a different channel at once. And we try to just focus on one channel. This is a task that few can achieve. (I work on it everyday) Mark I wish the world had more of you in it!

J.

Mark Ivar Myhre July 4, 2011 at 9:27 pm

Thanks, J! Appreciate the comments.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: