Still Stuck?

by Mark Ivar Myhre on August 29, 2011

It bothers me to see people stuck in their feelings.  Or, to see them not being able to move beyond a certain invisible barrier.  So even though I’ve written about change a few times, I’d like to take another, fresher look at the topic.

I see people try so hard to move beyond their current level.  They really do try.  Often times it’s a struggle.  And it gets very frustrating.  In fact, it can get you quite angry.  You keep banging your head against the wall, and nothing happens.  You just can’t break down that wall with your head.

And maybe my evergreen advice to “open up your heart and let in the feelings” doesn’t seem to be working too well either…

Would it help if I said I really do understand?

Oh, it doesn’t help much….?  Well okay.  But look, I understand that we all form barriers to our feelings.  And it’s these barriers that keep us stuck.  In fact, the way I see it, all self improvement basically comes down to removing some sort of wall or obstacle or impedance or filter or SOMETHING that stands in our way.  Something, somehow, is being blocked.



I say this because what I see is a flow of energy that’s always bubbling up inside us.  Always.  And this flow is the raw material of life.  It’s the precursor of physical reality.  So, theoretically, anyone can create anything.  Because we all have access to this flow of raw material.  In theory.

Why am I stuck?

Now with feeling your feelings, I know a lot of the time, we’ve got what looks like a bank vault door keeping the feelings out.  And it’s probably got a time lock on the door that won’t open until about ten minutes after we die.

So try as you might, you can’t feel what you want to feel.  Thus, you stay stuck.  I think that pretty much sums up the problem.  The question, obviously, is what can you do about it?

You step back from the situation and look at it from a higher perspective.  You’ve got this barrier that’s stopping you.  It appears rock solid.  And it’s actually made out of the very flow it’s blocking.  Like a blood clot is made out of blood.

Now it’s become – or it appears to be – more powerful than anything you can muster to change it.  So you get angry and frustrated and beat your head against the wall and gnash your teeth.  Stuck.  Don’t know what to do.

First, realize that if you created it this way, then you can create it another way.

Don’t just gloss over that statement! “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it, now tell me what to do.”

No.  You’ve got to feel the impact of that statement.  Really let it in.  Let it become real.

“Hey, I DID create it this way!  Wow!  That’s awesome.  Thank goodness my mother didn’t make this wall.  Or anyone else, for that matter!”



This wall was my creation.  I created it.  And the creator is always more than the creation.  So this is all good news.  That means it really can be different now.

You see?  If you don’t have that true glimmer of hope, then you won’t get any further.  You’ll just keep reading but nothing will change.  That’s why it’s so important to spend the time to really get it

I created things the way they are.  And I can always create it differently.  I just haven’t figured out how to do it yet.

Those three sentences above are designed to give you hope.  Without hope, you won’t get any further.  You’ll stay stuck because you won’t be able to see the solution.

Now, here’s the anti-hope:

We had a reason for building that barrier in the first place.  And we have a reason for keeping it there.  And that reason might just hold more allure than the hope.

That’s the real reason people stay stuck.

I’m telling you, you’ve got a flow of energy inside you that can move mountains.  Whether you feel it or not; whether you believe it or not.  It’s there.  Right now, you’re using your flow of energy to stay stuck.

You have to keep reinforcing your bank vault door.  You can’t set it and forget it.  Quite the contrary.  You have to think about it all the time. You have to give your energy and your power to this barrier every single day. Otherwise it would start to dissipate.  Then you would change naturally, over time.

So there must be a darn good reason why you keep feeding this wall so as to make it stay in place. And if you say, “because I have to” then you’re lying to yourself.  You’re choosing to.  That’s the truth.  And again, if you’ll spend some time with this ugly truth, it will indeed give you hope.

This is where self love and self acceptance and forgiveness comes in.  Do I love myself enough to tell myself the truth?

And this is also where receiving the love from above comes in.

“I need help.”

“I need the courage to stop lying to myself.”

“I need healing.  And I need hope.”

As I’ve said before, I ask for help before I go to sleep at night. I do this a lot.  I suggest you try it as well.

What’s needed here is the courage to face up to my own reasons for staying stuck.  Would I rather stay a victim?  Do I prefer to blame?  Do I want to stay a coward?  Am I out to punish someone else?  Do I want someone else to be responsible for my life?



These are some of the possible payoffs we could have for keeping that rock-solid barrier in place.  Ironically, it’s only rock-hard because of our own private reasons – our own secret payoffs – for keeping that barrier in there.  I talk more about this in the program, How To Create Your Own Reality.

So what’s the bottom line here?

I need the courage to face my sneaky reason for keeping that barrier in place.  Because it’s ugly.  Ugly, ugly, ugly.   Nobody wants to look at their payoff.  It takes courage.  That’s why I say ask for help.

Ask for the courage to face the ugly reason you keep the barrier in place.

If it makes you feel any better, there is a luminous intent beneath the surface reason.  You’re not out to destroy the world.  Not at all. When you strip it all away, it most likely has something to do with wanting to be loved or to feel safe or to make love safe.  That’s probably the real reason you keep the barrier in place.  Most likely, it started in childhood.

But it’s a twisted way to get love, or to feel safe. There’s better ways.  But it’s hard to see them from that side of the barrier.  That’s where hope and self love and asking for help comes in. Because it takes a leap of faith.

Now, if you go back to the original point, which is to see this from a higher perspective, then you may realize that you came into this life for a reason.  And it wasn’t to stay stuck.  Most likely, you knew the big huge barriers that would form in your life.

Because given your childhood, could it really have been any other way?

If I’d been born a hundred times, coming into the circumstances I did, I’ll bet you every single time I would have formed the same terrible painful barriers that I’ve had to deal with.  Think about that.  You must’ve known what you were going to have to deal with in this life.

So how in the world could you not ask for help to heal them?  And remember, for the most part, all you need to ask for is courage and maybe a little hope and understanding.

Armed with courage, hope and understanding, the rest usually just falls into place.

all the best,

Mark

Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Coach
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{ 1 comment }

Adrian October 30, 2013 at 8:40 am

Thank you very much. I am reading your articles and find that I feel that what you say is correct. That gives me a lot of hope. Thank you for what you are doing, it is really excelent. Thank you.

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