Intensity

by Mark Ivar Myhre on February 21, 2012

I love intensity and I love getting intense. There’s a rawness to it that really appeals to me. Most people don’t share my love. It fact, it would seem intensity scares most people.

How do you feel about it?

And before you answer, let me explain what I mean. See, I’m not talking about such things as ranting and raving or (usually) being ‘intensely’ scared. Those actions may be inspired by intensity, but that’s not really ‘being’ intense.

Intensity is deep, not loud. Very rarely could you really be intense while putting on a show – either to yourself or others. Showmanship is not intensity. It’s acting. And acting has its place. I mean, who doesn’t love a good movie?

Intensity, though, is usually quiet. Almost eerily quiet. It’s dense. It holds a ton of energy. It’s complex. It’s not simple. There’s a lot going on inside intensity.

The energy that comes into you – that bubbles up in the so-called ’emotional wellspring’ – that energy is intense. It touches you and it moves you, to one degree or another. Depending on how willing you are to be touched and moved.

Because, remember, we all have filters in place that block the touching and moving – filters to impede the flow of energy in one way or another. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.


If you’re an actor, then you want to take a little bit of real intensity and mix it up with some mental stories, and create a Meringue pie of thespian drama. But if you’re not an actor, and you’re creating Meringue pies… well… it’s still acting.

And you’re missing out on a lot. A lot of realness; a lot of aliveness; and a lot of experience of what life has to offer. Which, again, isn’t necessarily all bad.

We learn very early in life that it’s not ‘smart’ to feel intensity. We’re taught by all facets of society that you shouldn’t get intense. “Bad things happen.” People will talk about you. They won’t like you. You’ll be different. You’ll be excluded. (Unless you find other weird people like yourself to hang out with!)

You’re a ‘problem child’ if you get ‘intense’. Which probably isn’t intensity at all – rather, it’s just being a kid. Children and adolescents are supposed to be melodramatic and emotional and silly and all that other fun stuff grownups don’t get to do.

If I’m a miserable adult, and I see my kids having fun, it’s going to get under my skin. It’s going to confront me, and I don’t want to be confronted. It’s so much easier to yell at my kids and try to get them to stop doing what comes natural to them. That way I don’t have to look at my own miserable life. And if they grow up to be miserable adults… I can always apologize later. That should be good enough…

You see? And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. And that’s not even real intensity. It’s rare that I talk to someone who was really allowed to be a kid when they were growing up.

And no one – to my knowledge – was ever taught what intensity is or how to access it and let it be a natural part of living life. As it was intended to be.

Intensity is a source of power and strength.

It’s thrilling. It’s fun. It’s real. It’s alive. Who wouldn’t want that? Just about everybody, apparently.

Because we’ve been programmed to stay away from intensity at all costs. But it’s hard to be alive without intensity. It’s hard to stay alive. There’s just not a whole lot of sustenance in Meringue pie. Maybe it’s okay every once in a while when you’re in one of those moods. But not as a daily diet.

Your heart craves intensity. Well, mine does, anyway. And I would imagine yours does as well. We’re probably not that different in that regard.


See, intensity is the energy behind… what? Behind everything! Intensity is just a word – which does no justice to what intensity is. Or maybe I could say the energy behind everything is intense. Intense energy. Energy of intensity. Again, just words. Trying to describe something I can’t possibly describe.

‘Raw power’ would be another way to put it. ‘Aliveness’. Or, the energy that makes you feel alive. That lets you live.

It can be an adjective, as in – “Man, that dude’s intense.”

Or, it can be a noun, as in – “Can you feel the intensity?”

The question is, do you want to be more alive? Do you want to feel more power? Do you want to really live – rather than just exist, taking up space and waiting to die?

Sadly, many people who write me would rather wait to die. I get a new letter saying as much, almost every single day. Because, when it comes right down to it, they’ve made a rather bitter Meringue pie. It doesn’t taste good. And that’s all they’re eating. And they’ve forgotten – or they never knew – they’re the only cook in the kitchen.

Look at the facts:

  • Your heart longs for intensity.
  • You’ve been taught and conditioned to not feel intensity – almost as a survival mechanism.
  • When you don’t feel what your heart longs for, that creates pain.

When you don’t feel intensity, you start to deaden.

Because, basically, intensity is aliveness. That’s how you know if you’re in touch with intensity or not: by how alive you feel.

Which will probably be accompanied by feelings of thrill and happiness and wonder and joy and love and so forth. Not all the time, but at least intermittently. At least some of the time.

Along with sadness, fear, hurt, anger, and yes, some pain. You’re in a human body, right? Fear and pain are part of the feedback mechanism of being in a human body. They are as natural as joy and peace and love. If you didn’t feel pain when you placed your hand on the hot stove… or if you didn’t feel pain in your heart when you blocked intensity… how would you know something needed to be changed?

Pain is a message to let you know something needs to be changed. Right? Pain is not punishment. Not really. That’s not what pain was intended for. Pain is feedback.

And emotional pain is feedback to let you know you’re lacking intensity of emotion.


So what’s the answer? What’s the solution to this problem?

First, recognize how strongly – how intensely – we’ve been programmed to not feel intensity. ( And it’s okay to notice the irony there!) Intensity is like ‘the forbidden zone’. You’ve probably picked up a ton of beliefs about how you should never ever ever feel intense.

You’ve got intense programs that block intensity. (Again, notice the irony.)

Because intensity is so strong and powerful, those beliefs aren’t going to just change on their own. They’ll last a lifetime if you don’t change them. Conversely, if you’re willing to feel the intensity, any belief can change.

In fact, that’s the key ingredient as to which beliefs change, and which ones don’t.

Do you see the Catch-22 here? Do you see the trap?

You need to feel intensity to change the belief that says you shouldn’t feel intensity.

But how are you going to feel the intensity, though, if you have a belief that says you should not feel intensity, no matter what? It’s a conundrum. And that’s where many people stay stuck. Slowly, painfully, waiting to die. Or, living a life much less than it could otherwise be.

Fortunately, you can feel as much aliveness as you want. You can heal that negative programming. And there’s more than one way to do it.

You could just take baby steps back and forth between feeling a little bit of intensity, and changing a little bit of belief. That’s how I started. Which all starts with processing – writing down your thoughts and feelings.

Or, you could accelerate the change by doing some Power Processing. That way you’d be making a lot more progress a lot quicker. Feel better and smarter. Win-win!

Or, you could start by working with your subconscious mind – perhaps by going to those subconscious blockages and releasing them. Sure, they were necessary as a child – to survive. But you’re no longer a child. All they’re doing now is making you miserable.

At the very least, though, you’d want to get out your trust paper and pen and start ‘bleeding on the page’ as I like to say. Get the yucky ugly stuff – the vile stuff – the smelly stuff – out of you, and onto the paper. Get the toxins out. That in itself will help you heal and help you get in touch with your own intensity which is already there inside you.

It’s your birthright to be and feel all the intensity (aliveness) that you want.

What is intensity? It’s the energy keeping you alive.

And where is your intensity?  For the most part, it’s in your shadow.  Until you bring it forth and let it start healing your life.

all the best,

Mark

Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Coach
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