So what happens when a polar bear happens upon a canine?  Check out these amazing photos.

I put these up to remind you – anything is possible.

Norbert Rosing’s striking images of a wild polar bear coming upon
tethered sled dogs in the wilds of Canada ‘s Hudson Bay.

This could get ugly. You can see the dogs barking.

What's the bear doing with its paw?

All of a sudden they're friends.

They're playing around. Don't try this at home.

Even polar bears need a good hug every now and then. Again, don't try this at home.

Did they mate? Or are they 'just friends'?

The photographer reports the polar bear returned every night for a week to play with the dogs.

It just goes to show you – anything can happen in this world.

So you may as well THING BIG.

I’ll still keep my distance from polar bears, though.  Just in case.

Polar Bear vs. Dog is a post from: Emotional Times

.
Recently, someone asked me -

“Why dont you do mankind a favour and reveal your secrets to help the unfortunate ones who dont have the money to purchase books?”

Since it pushed so many buttons in me, I figured I’d take a little time to process it out. And you can join along with me for the ride!

First of all, if someone is so unfortunate as to not be able to buy a book, they have much greater problems than I can solve anyway. I’ve never known anyone who could not buy a book.

The question is, how badly do they want the book?

Apparently, not very badly. Apparently, I haven’t demonstrated the value of my books. Because anyone can get money if they’re sufficiently motivated to buy something.

I’ve known homeless crack addicts who – somehow or another – managed to get a good bit of money on a regular basis. A lot more money than any of my books cost.

It’s not a question of money.

Anyone can get money if they want it. Or at least, anyone who has computer access can get money. If you’re savvy enough to get onto the internet, you can find a way to get money if you really want it. At the very least, you can write articles for people who will pay you.

Start with this site: associatedcontent.com. But there are many more sites that will pay you to write. Did you know there are many sites that pay you to blog?

I could go on and on about money, but that’s not the issue. Because if you needed one of my books, and you convinced yourself my book could solve your problem, you’d get the money.

(Or else, you’d write me the right kind of email and then I would give you a book for free. I do give away a lot of books. But only to people who ask in the right way. Most people don’t ask in the right way.)

No, it’s really a question of entitlement.

“I’ve suffered so I should get it for free.”

“I’m special.”

“I shouldn’t have to pay.”

Boy, do I know entitlement! I LIVED it for most of my life. Which probably explains why this whole situation of ‘just give it to me for free’ pushes my buttons.

It could be the unresolved issues inside of me:

Maybe I’m still looking for a free ride myself? Maybe I still want someone else to take up my slack? Maybe I still think I’m special?

I don’t know.

What I do know, is that entitlement is a dry well.

Entitlement never gets you anything worthwhile. Believe me, no one was more entitled than I was! (Not that I want to swap lies with you…)

Entitlement always leaves you thirsty. Always unsatisfied. It always leaves you empty. It’s no fun. You have to keep remembering your little story. All the reasons ‘why not’.

Finally I just got so sick of it, I decided to pick myself up and get to work on being responsible. What a difference it made!!!

The answer to entitlement is to tell yourself the truth:

Nobody in the world is capable of being responsible for your life. Nor would you really want them to be.

Another thing that bothers me about this issue: I’m already giving away quite a bit of valuable information as it is. Most of the work I do, I don’t make a penny for it.

Not that I’m complaining. I love what I do and I do what I love.

Just getting positive feedback means at least as much as making another sale. You’ll probably never find anyone who cares less about money than I do.

Unfortunately, I can’t go to the grocery store and tell them:

“Hey, you got all this food here. Why don’t you just give me some of it?”

Or go to the barber shop:

“Hey, it’s not costing you any money to cut my hair. Why don’t you just do it for free?”

The hairdresser is going to be insulted. Why?

Because you don’t value them. You don’t value their expertise. You don’t value their time. You don’t value their worth. You don’t value their life – and what they’re doing with it.

But unlike the hairdresser, I do give a lot away for free already. And I had to pay dearly for what I know. Sometimes with money. Mostly, though, I paid by giving up the things I held so dear. Like my pity.

If it had been ‘free’ – I doubt I would have valued it anyway. I doubt I would have paid attention. I doubt I would’ve really learned anything.

That’s why I wouldn’t really be doing mankind a favor by giving all my ‘secrets’ away for free. People pay much less attention to what they get for free.

The greater the perceived value, the more someone pays attention.

Try this little experiment: Go buy a cheap bottle of wine, and ask the sales clerk to put a really high price tag on the bottle. Then go take it over to someone’s house. Don’t say a word about the price. (They’ll see the tag!)

And watch what they say about the wine.

I did this myself, at a party for medical doctors. It fooled them all.

Also, life is not about taking.

To get anything, something must be given up.

Life is about exchange. Sometimes money is involved, sometimes not.

I value myself. I’m honored when someone buys one of my books. They’ve demonstrated their trust. They’ve honored me.

Very, very few people have ever returned anything I sell on the internet. I’m proud of that fact. Because I know how much garbage is out there. Sometimes the garbage comes with a very high price.

I like to think I give a lot of value.

If you want a free book, you’d be much better off thinking, “What can I give?” rather than, “What can I take?”

Doors open when you truly give of yourself.

Bookmark & Share

Why I Don’t Work For Free is a post from: Emotional Times

.
Every now and then someone will write and ask me if I am into Scientology. I suppose it’s because I generally take a dim view of antidepressants.

So here’s what I think of Scientology:

A few years ago, as I was walking out of the local brew pub in Ybor City (in Tampa) I was approached by a man who asked me if I wanted to take a ‘personality test’.

I knew something was squirrelly with the guy, but still I was intrigued. Especially since my friend said, “Get away from him, he’s a Scientologist!”

Would they kidnap me? Was I in danger? Could they brainwash me in a casual conversation? Could I withstand their wily ways?

All these questions were running through my mind.

I walked over to their place of business. I saw a dozen or so other bar patrons who’d been rounded up like me on a Friday night; curious or perhaps even genuinely interested.

I sensed a dark energy that hung about the room like an ominous cloud. It was impossible to ignore. I’ll admit I felt a little nervous. No way would I lose sight of that front door.

My main source of confidence came from the firm belief I could kick and bite and scratch and elbow my way through every person in that room if need be…

Just try and stop me. Just try.

I was introduced to the best looking woman in the room (which isn’t saying much) who laughed when I confessed my main source of confidence.

“Do you really think I’m a threat?”

“Well, maybe not you, personally…”

At the time, I didn’t realize how many hours and hours and hours she’d spent working on her communication skills; presumably to deal with people like me.

She let me hold her E-meter. I was impressed at how she avoided answering my questions. She was highly skilled in the art of ‘verbal judo’.

I bought a book on emotions. She said she’d like to see me again. I wrote my mailing address on the sales receipt.

I went home and read the book. It was overly simplistic and half-wrong, but besides that, it wasn’t too bad. Although I wouldn’t recommend it. (If you want to learn about emotions, read my free e-book.)

And now, here’s where the story gets interesting.

You see, I know someone who intimately knows the inner workings of the people who run Scientology.

(As opposed to the ‘google-knowledge’ which I learned later. Just google the word scientology and you’ll be lost in an endless maze of information they don’t want you to know. I spent a fascinating evening surfing numerous websites after my Friday night adventure.)

Here’s what my friend in Los Angeles told me a month later:

1. Yes, Mark, they do indeed have VERY powerful techniques.

4. Mark, in your eagerness to learn you could get sucked in. You need to stay away.

And my friend would say no more. No matter how much I begged and pleaded for additional info.

So what’s the bottom line?

If you’re looking for a Scientology Guide – think hard about why you want to learn about it. If you’re really set on helping yourself with Scientology techniques, then at least select one of the ‘underground’ organizations that are run by ex-Scientologists who sincerely want to help people.

And avoid the ‘official’ so-called church of Scientology at all costs. They have an agenda; and it’s not to help you.

I respect a person’s desire to learn more about themselves and to walk a path of self-discovery. To me, nothing is more important.

Just make sure you THINK FOR YOURSELF.

Don’t let anyone else make your choices and decisions and evaluations. Ever. Guard your choices and decisions and evaluations with your life.

And to this day, after moving twice, I still can’t get off their damn mailing list. They keep finding my new address.

Bookmark & Share

Scientology Guide is a post from: Emotional Times

.
I learned this morning one more time – how important it is to be mindful of my thoughts and feelings.

It happened while I was looking at my barriers to receiving.

I was curious to know why I don’t receive more love, more success, etc. I knew I must be blocking – or filtering out – so much of what I could be experiencing.

I guess they’re filters, really, more than barriers. And I have many of them.

I call them filters because everyone receives, to a certain extent. We wouldn’t be alive if we completely shut down our ability to receive.

We must receive energy – a particular kind of energy – to sustain life.

I compare it to breathing. I must receive oxygen to stay alive. Likewise, I must receive energy from – or through – what I call the emotional wellspring.

It’s a flow of energy that becomes my emotions; my thoughts and my feelings. And I am always receiving this flow.

Anyway, for most of my life, I turned this flow of energy into shame. I was obsessed and absorbed with my own shame:

“There’s something fundamentally wrong with me and I can’t be fixed.”

That statement permeated every single part of my life – from who I was, to everything I did.

I was very good at ‘receiving’ shame.

Fortunately, it’s mostly gone now.

When I feel a little shame these days, it’s like:

“Oh, wow. Look! I’m feeling a little shame here. How cute. Well, let me get about the business of responding to it…”

Until this morning, I really didn’t think it was affecting me much anymore.

I was meditating. Often, I go to what I call my sphere of understanding. A glowing white sphere – highly differentiated – it appears to be filled with what looks like nerve cells, or brain cells. Millions of them, all interlaced in a sphere. Surrounded by a thick cortex of something – I’m not sure what.

I visualize myself going into this sphere almost daily – as a way to understand more about myself and the world around me. As much as possible, I ‘ become’ the sphere.

Today, I brought in the topic of receiving. I saw I had many layers of resistance to receiving.

Okay. “Start from where you are”, as I always say. “What’s the first barrier?”

“A layer of envy???”

“Ugh! I hate envy!”

Oh, there’s a clue right there…!

So – I found a layer of envy that surrounded me and blocked me from receiving more. It looked like – well, you know what a dried-up pond looks like? The ground gets all cracked and hard and dried out and so forth?

Well, in my case, the envy was caused by all those thoughts and feelings of shame I’d been living with for decades. The ones I didn’t process (by feeling and releasing them) but instead I shoved ‘em down – denied them – rejected them.

The ones that were too ugly and painful to look at.

And here’s one of the places they went to: a prickly barrier that effectively blocked me from receiving more love and joy and abundance and power and all the other wonderful things of life.

Not that I’m miserable these days… But still, I’m missing out on what I could be experiencing.

And I got a vivid picture of what happens when I don’t feel and release my thoughts and feelings: They formed a hard, prickly barrier that surrounded me and kept out so much ‘goodness’.

Well, as you can imagine, I quickly got about the business of doing the forgiveness routine so I could effectively remove this barrier, or filter (whatever you want to call it).

After forgiving myself, it practically crumbled under its own weight. A filter of shame and envy that had been there for decades. And I never even knew it was there until an hour ago!

And on the other side was what appeared to be pink, tender, skin.

I can’t wait for it to ‘callous up’ so I can see what the next filter is!

But here’s the point for you to keep in mind: Those thoughts and feelings you deny (perhaps because they’re so repulsive, or scary, or politically incorrect, or whatever) really do go somewhere.

And they can affect you for the rest of your life.

I saw that today – more clearly and profoundly than ever before.

Bookmark & Share

The Consequence of Thinking and Feeling is a post from: Emotional Times

.

I never kept a single New Year’s resolution.

Until I learned the secret I’m about to tell you. And now, I don’t even think about whether or not I’ll be keeping any new resolutions I make. I know it’s completely up to me. And ‘will power’ has nothing to do with it.

Will power is overrated anyway. Usually it really means suffering and struggling and punishment. Which I have no use for. I’ve struggled enough in this lifetime.

What I’m about to tell you is the easy way to change. It’s not the complete answer, but it’s a critical part. It involves changing your resonance. When you change your resonance, you change yourself (and even the world you see around you, to a certain extent).

When you change your resonance, magic happens.

When you change your resonance, your New Year’s resolutions will no longer be a source of frustration, disappointment, or shame. The struggle will be removed, and it’ll be like sliding down a slippery slope. Keeping resolutions will be a matter of choice, rather than a function of determination and grit.

You can change your resonance in various ways.

Today, lets look at the easiest way. It may seem too easy. Don’t fall into the trap of believing you must struggle to change. You can let it be easy.

Up till now, you likely believe what I used to: “The best way to achieve your goal is to focus on it strongly and consistently; see it clearly and it will surely be yours.”

Certainly the idea has merit. It can work, and often does. But oftentimes it doesn’t, as you probably know all too well. Why do you suppose that is?

The simple answer is we’re usually focusing on the form our ego believes is best, rather than listening to what our heart really wants. Which is not form, but essence.

Your ego says lose weight so you’ll look sexy. But your heart says it just wants that wonderful feeling of being loved. You see the difference?

Your ego has desires, and your heart has desires. Chasing the desires of ego will have you running in circles and leave you frustrated and empty. Opening to the desires of your heart will bring you immense joy and satisfaction.

Chase ego desires and be frustrated… or open to the heart’s desires and be fulfilled. Hmm…. Tough choice, huh?

Actually, it is tough. Because we’re so seduced by ego. And our heart speaks so softly.

Can you hear your heart speak? Do you know what it wants?

I can guarantee you it’s not the shiny new sports car. Rather, it wants the thrill – the thrill of driving it. See the difference?

Your heart wants the essence while your ego wants the form. You can have both. The key is to focus on the essence instead of the form. Seek to satisfy your heart FIRST. How do you do this?

By finding the essence within the form. Look to your New Year’s resolution. First, look at the form. What, exactly, do you want?

Now, look deeper. Find the essence within the form. In other words, what are the wonderful feelings you will feel once you have the form? That’s what you want to focus on: the wonderful feelings. NOT the form.

In fact you would be better served by not giving the form much energy at all. I know that’s not what most people say. Hey, I’ve cut out pictures from magazines myself. I know how seductive the form can be.

But I’m telling you from personal experience; focus on the wonderful feelings instead of the form, and you’ll have a much greater chance of getting the form you want. Because the essence creates the form.

Plus, you can start feeling those wonderful feelings right now. You don’t have to wait.

To sum up:

1. Decide what you want.

2. Go deeper into your want; and find the essence – the wonderful feelings you’ll have once you get what you want.

3. Start feeling those feelings now.

4. Keep those wonderful feelings in place; focus on them, rather than the form.

5. Ignore the form. Heck, you might end up with something better anyway!

6. When your ego comes in (and it most definitely will!) and tries to tell you you’re wasting your time – say “NO” and keep on feeling those wonderful feelings.

7. Don’t judge your success by anything in the world – just keep holding onto those feelings. Measure your success by how you feel.

If you follow these steps you can change your resonance. And make it quite likely you’ll get what you want. Because all form comes from essence. Don’t believe the lie that you must first get the form, before you can feel the wonderful feelings.

“I can’t feel good about myself until I lose the weight.”

That’s why New Year’s resolutions fail.

Bookmark & Share

New Year’s Resolutions: How To Keep Them is a post from: Emotional Times

.
Those thoughts in your head may not be your own.

They might be coming from another part of you – an aspect of yourself that may not have your best interest at heart.

I’m talking about your ego.

I’ve written about the ego before, in the e-books on forgiving yourself and creating your own reality, and in this previous post about the ego.

Here’s the briefest of synopses:

What your ego is: Your information delivery system. Like a mailman.

Why it ‘goes bad’: Because we force it to be responsible for things it can’t be responsible for. We force it to make choices and decisions about life, for example. (It’s called ‘shaming the ego’.)

Today, I’d like to expand on the ego a little bit, and explain why it’s so critically important to learn to differentiate between your thoughts and feelings, and your ego’s thoughts and feelings.

Ego, by it’s very nature, really isn’t very smart. But it’s important to understand: your ego does think and feel independently of you.

It can and does make choices and decisions quite independently of your choices and decisions.

And many people function from a place of ego rather than from their own self.

I know this can be a hard concept to grasp. And I also know from studying my own web site statistics, that many people don’t even want to read about the topic.

Well, the more joyful and successful and wonderful your life is, the less you’re functioning from a place of ego.

And the more misery you feel, the more you ARE functioning from a place of ego. A life run by ego is guaranteed to be a miserable life.

Because the ego is not equipped to run a life!

It is only equipped to deliver information – FROM the world and TO you. And to deliver your response back to the world.

Your ego is a ‘middleman’.

It must be there, for your very survival and existence. You NEED your ego.

But you need to be running the show! You need to be the one consciously making the choices and decisions.

So how do you know if it’s you or your ego doing the thinking and so forth?

Discernment. You learn to tell the difference. Here’s how to start:

Say you’re walking down the street and you see a red car. Your ego is supposed to say: “There’s a red car.”

Instead, what you hear is: “There’s a red car. I hate red cars!! They should all be rounded up and crushed into scrap metal. Look at that jerk driving. Boy, I’d like to…”

Or – you feel miserable emotionally. Your ego is supposed to say: “I’m feeling miserable right now.”

Period.

But what you hear: “I’m feeling miserable right now. I ALWAYS feel miserable. I’m just a miserable person. I’m bet everyone hates me. I’m a pathetic loser. I’ll never feel better. I should just do the whole world a favor and…”

You see what’s going on here. Rather than simply doing its job – delivering the facts – your ego also interprets the facts.

But that’s your job!

When you don’t take the time to consciously think and feel and make choices and decisions out of your thinking and feeling, you can be sure your ego is doing it for you.

If you want to blame, or avoid, or get righteous, or feel pity – or any of the other ways to go to sleep – someone still has to sit in the driver’s seat of your life.

It can be your inner child or some other aspect of you. But usually it’s your ego.

Here’s what I suggest:

Start by questioning every thought you can:

• Is that me? Or is that my ego?
• Do I really believe what I just thought?
• Is this a thought that separates me?
• Does it make me feel better-than or less-than?
• Is it hurtful – to me or another?

These are the kinds of questions you want to ask yourself concerning the thoughts that pop up.

Basically, your ego wants to separate and punish and go to extremes of black and white. Those are the general tendencies.

By questioning your thoughts, you’re becoming more conscious and more powerful and more responsible and better equipped to function in life.

And it’s a good way to start becoming more of a friend to yourself.

Bookmark & Share

What Are You Thinking? is a post from: Emotional Times

.
Entire books have been written on the value of gratitude.

You can get rich just by being grateful. Or so one book I recently read claims. And I don’t doubt it.

You can get lots of wonderful things by being filled with gratitude. But here’s the problem:

Gratitude is a spontaneous celebration of happiness, thankfulness, and a few other feelings as well. However, the key word here is spontaneous. Gratitude is spontaneous. It could be summed up as:

“No matter what I do, I can never return the favor.”

To me, that’s gratitude. Yes, it’s important. It’s a wonderful energy and a great way to feel. It’s one of the ‘generating energies’ that I write about in the e-book, How To Create Your Own Reality.

But it’s not particularly easy for many people to feel true gratitude.

If your life sux, and someone tells you to feel grateful, what do you suppose you’ll really feel? If you’re anything like I used to be, you’re going to be filled with the exact opposite of gratitude. Namely, resentment, bitterness, envy, etc.

Because you don’t have the well of positive experience to draw from.

Your well is already filled with other energies.

You do have a well of experience you draw upon every day. It could be already overflowing with gratitude; because you’ve been feeling grateful for all the wonderful things in your life. And all the glorious experiences you’ve been having…

Or it could be a well filled with boring, mediocre, same-old-same-old day to day blasé experiences.

Or it could be a well filled with anger. Or fear. Or misery. Or…

You do have a well.

Now, it’s true. Humans have the potential ability to feel anything at anytime. But not necessarily the capability. (The space to exercise the ability.)

If you’re depressed, if you’re suffocating with anxiety, even if you’re in self-pity, you won’t be feeling gratitude. But you can move up the scale of emotions.

Gratitude’s way up at the top – next to love, intimacy, joy, and wonder.

If you’re down near the bottom, the trick is to feel slightly better. What can you feel – passionately – that feels a little better than what you’re currently feeling?

If you’re depressed, it’s often hate.

If you’re scared, it’s often anger.

Whatever. But you never have to settle for the way you’re currently feeling. Get those feelings move UP and OUT of you – whatever they are. That may take some ‘emotional thrashing’.

Of course, you could always feel grateful that you’re even able to feel hate, or anger. It is a gift, you know.

Bookmark & Share

Gratitude Is Overrated is a post from: Emotional Times

.
Many people know they don’t accept themselves. And they want to change it.

Especially after reading yesterday’s post, where I mentioned “many people prefer the pain of non-acceptance over the joy and magic of self-acceptance”.

But how?

Let’s look at that a little closer. But first, let me say I write statements like that a lot. I honestly don’t do it to make you angry. No, I do it as a way to pierce your defensive shield.

Some people take it personal, and send me nasty letters. Others vow to never read another word I write (just a wild guess).

But I know some people take it to heart:

“Wow. I just got punched in the gut here. This really pushed a button. I wonder why…”

Those are the letters I enjoy reading.

I’m not here to win a popularity contest. I am a ‘piercer’. I pierce. I cut through the blockages and walls and all the other structures that people put up around themselves. It’s what I do. It’s who I am.

Because I know you have to break some eggs to make an omelet.

I don’t intentionally try to offend anyone. If you’ve ever talked to me or sent an email, then you know that.

So why did I say “many people prefer pain”?

I’m speaking from personal experience. I preferred pain. For decades. Even as recently as last night, I found a pocket of pain I was still hanging onto. I tried to ‘work my magic’ before I went to sleep; to end it.

It wouldn’t budge. So I went to one of my favorite tools of self-improvement. Before sleeping, I asked the other, more conscious parts of me, to reveal my blockage during the night. So when I woke up this morning, I would have a greater understanding of the situation.

I often ask for greater understanding at night. And a good percentage of the time it really works!

If it doesn’t work, then I usually accept that I’m unwilling to understand. So, the next night, I might ask for understanding on why I’m not willing to understand.

Hey, you gotta start from where you are!

Anyway, this morning I did understand the situation a lot better. It didn’t go away, but at least now I know where to focus my efforts. Now I can spend time ‘processing’ it out.

You might want to get into the habit of asking for greater understanding yourself. The more you do it, the better it works.

Okay, back to the ‘pain preference’.

First, let me state the obvious: Almost nobody really wants pain.

But it’s a slippery slope; from a little pain to a lot of pain.

It start out innocently enough… usually in childhood. Almost always as a result of shame. And usually we’ve lost conscious memory of it.

We get dumped on. It hurts. We don’t know how to handle it. So we dump on ourselves. Because shame is like a hot potato.

Even as a child, we try to ‘process’ our pain. But a child is ill-equipped to do so. About the only option is to shame ourselves. We start lying to ourselves:

“I’m a bad person.”

“There’s something wrong with me.”

We also start withholding things from ourselves; like love, happiness, etc.

I believe this is generally how pain gets out of hand:

The problem with pain is that it grows. Slowly, imperceptibly, it grows. Oftentimes hidden from view. Until one day the bottom falls out. Then we’re engulfed in pain. Down in the bottom of a deep dark hole.

Nobody wants that.

I’ve consulted with many people who’ve fallen down that hole. And not a single one of them wanted to be there.

But here’s the confronting part:

An inadequate coping mechanism – (I believe) – is what got you down there.

If you can accept that statement, you’ve just empowered yourself a little, and you’ve made it a tiny bit easier to get out.

Now, admittedly it can be a challenge to get out of that hole. But the first step is to understand it’s even there – and to understand how you got there.

I’d suggest seeking out your own individual understanding for your own unique situation.

Honestly, sincerely, ask for understanding as you sleep. And if it doesn’t come, then the next night ask for the reason why you’re not willing to understand.

And see what happens.

It’s a starting point to greater self-acceptance.

Bookmark & Share

How To Start Accepting Yourself is a post from: Emotional Times

.

The holiday season creates a certain energy in the air – an excitement – unlike any other time of the year.

It’s also a time of reflection. How did I do this year? Am I a better person now? How do I feel as I look back on the year?

Along with reflection over the past year, the holidays are also a time of reflection on where we are right now. Which brings us closer to those holiday blues…

Because it’s way too easy to hold ourselves up to an unrealistic standard that is guaranteed to create feelings of unworthiness and not good enough.

“I should be doing this…”

“I should be feeling that…”

It’s so easy to judge ourselves harshly – which always makes the situation worse.

If there’s only one gift you give yourself this holiday season, why not make it the gift of self-acceptance? It can be a critical first step to actually feeling better, no matter how bad – or good – you feel now. Here’s why:

When we won’t accept ourselves for who we are – and where we are right now – it’s because we’re most likely judging ourselves. And judgments freeze. By not accepting ourselves, we freeze our present condition into place. We make it MUCH harder to change.

So often, we want to believe that if we accept ourselves, that means we won’t change:

“If I say it’s okay to be the pathetic person I am – then I’ll keep on being pathetic.” Or mediocre. Or whatever adjective you use to describe yourself. (Personally, I prefer the term ‘seeker’. I am a ‘seeking person’. I am seeking to become more of myself, and less of who I am not.)

The key point to understand is that self-acceptance has nothing to do with complacency. The more you accept yourself, the less you’ll settle for your present condition, and the more you’ll want to improve yourself.

Self-Acceptance As A Foundation, A Platform, And A Springboard

Everyone has a foundation. Filled with all sorts of hidden energies such as fundamental beliefs, fundamental choices, and many other things. We stand on our foundation and create our lives out of it.

Generally, our foundation is filled with our assumptions about life and about self. If we fundamentally assume we’re acceptable, it empowers us to stretch and grow; to reach for more.

Out of our foundation, we create our existence; our actions, our habits, our patterns of day to day living… in other words, our platform.

Thus, on top of our foundation sits our platform. A platform is a structure. It’s what we ‘make’ of life. Our lifestyle is a big part of our platform.

If self-acceptance is part of your day to day life – just imagine how enjoyable that life becomes! There’s a certain spring in your step when you accept yourself. You’re comfortable with who you ARE – as a human being – and you’re willing to become more.

Beyond our day to day existence, there also exists a ‘something more’. No matter how great and wonderful we may be – there’s always a whole other level of existence – way beyond us. Every now and then we glimpse it. This ‘something more’ becomes the peak experiences of our life.

The first one I remember was at the age of fifteen, on top of a mountain at Philmont Boy Scout Ranch in northern New Mexico. But it could happen any where and any time.

The older I get, the more I value my peak experiences. I long for them. I seek them out. By accepting myself as fully and completely as I can, I create a springboard to make the peak experiences more likely. And the more of those experiences I have, the more I accept myself!

One defining moment can change your life. In fact, one probably already has. That’s what defining moments do. They can be horribly painful, and lead to a lifetime of suffering and misery and self-deprecation.

Or they can be peak experiences, to inspire you for a lifetime.

Self-acceptance can help assuage the pain and increase the likelihood of a positive defining moment. Which may be right around the corner…

Self-acceptance is a paradox. Nobody can do it for you. Nobody can stop you from doing it. It can be the hardest thing in the world, but it’s totally up to you. Lack of acceptance hurts so deeply, but still we resist accepting ourselves so strongly.

It’s a lot like self-forgiveness. We resist the magic; we prefer the pain.

I know for me, I just couldn’t let go of the lie: “I am unacceptable.” To not accept yourself, you must lie to yourself. You must believe the lie that something is fundamentally wrong with you. Which is impossible.

Basically, self-acceptance comes down to accepting responsibility for yourself. That’s why there is no shortcut. That’s why it’s so hard. That’s why so many people prefer the pain of not accepting themselves.

Because they absolutely refuse to accept responsibility for the life they’ve created. Better to sink in the quicksand…

The good news: it’s totally up to you. And it’s never too late to start.

“I accept myself just the way I am. And I ask the universe to show me how I can accept myself deeper and more completely each day.”

That’s how I started the never-ending, always-expanding path of greater self-acceptance.

I can’t think of a better gift to give myself this holiday season, then to work on accepting myself more and more.

It’s why I am truly my own best friend.

Bookmark & Share

Best Holiday Gift To Yourself is a post from: Emotional Times

.

I get this question on a regular basis. Or rather, “How do I KNOW your product will help me? How can you prove it?”

It’s an interesting question. In the create reality e-book, I refer to it as one of the many ‘payoffs’ that people often take. I use this example in the e-book: “I’m not going to open my eyes until you prove to me there’s a beautiful sunset.”

Case closed. You win. Because it’s impossible to prove you will benefit whatsoever. Maybe you’re colorblind. Maybe you can’t see color at all, and the sky will only reveal shades of gray.

I guess I could start asking the asker: “How do I know you’re going to apply my material? Prove to me you’ll give this your best shot, then I’ll let you buy it.”

I remember one time I did send letter after letter of praise from buyers – to someone who asked for proof. And I’m sure you can imagine the rest of that story: he never bought anything. I presume he’s still wandering cyberspace – kicking other electronic tires…

Of course, it’s certainly valuable to conduct your due diligence, by writing the author before you buy. I’ve been ripped off more times then I’d like to admit. For quite a bit of money, I might add.

Some slick salesmen will have excellent sales letters – filled with testimonials – and still sell junk products or services. I learned the hard way – a testimonial is no proof at all. With internet marketing products – so many of those ‘testimonials’ are incestuous. “You promote my scam, and I’ll promote yours.”

Even if a product does work for one person, there’s no guarantee and there’s no proof it will work for you. When I first started looking for answers to emotional healing, nothing worked for me. I eventually concluded everything was a rip-off.

I judged every product and technique as worthless. The key word: judged.

Judgments freeze. They lock things in place. They create rigid, unbending, inflexible outcomes. Because I didn’t really want to look at my own issues; I put my own evaluation – my own thoughts and feelings – into the deep freeze. Hiding them behind the ice cream and the frozen peas.

Then I got to blame! And blame is soooo much fun.

Plus, if I judge, then I don’t have to be responsible. Or rather, I don’t get to be responsible.

Because I finally got it through my thick skull – while blame is cheap, dirty fun; responsibility is clean, valuable fun. The most fun you can have in a human body comes from living a responsible life.

Now, today, if I were to go back and look at all the products and services I said were worthless – I could probably pick out the pearls of wisdom and value.

Sure, some products are 100% worthless. But they’re in the minority. Most contain some value. And some contain a lot. But if I’m intending to prove all self improvement products are rip-offs sold by conmen (because I don’t REALLY want to change – I just want to talk about it) then I will judge every product as worthless.

Which, if you think about it, takes an enormous amount of energy. It’s hard work proving a negative agenda.

It certainly leaves you powerless. You’re forced to give your power away.

It takes effort to keep the lies frozen in place. You have to keep remembering them. It takes energy to power the refrigeration. Unless you live at the North Pole.

Often times, it comes down to a determination – a rock-hard decision – to not be responsible for your life. Ironically, the conmen sucker you by saying you aren’t responsible and you don’t have to be responsible. “Just send me your money and your problems will be over.”

If you’re determined to not be responsible, you’ll be suckered again and again and again. Building up more and more resentment, but unwilling (and seemingly unable) to change.

Here’s what I say:

Go read my free e-book first. See if it makes sense. Read through some of the articles on this blog.

Get to know the flavor of what I’m offering. Then I won’t ask you to PROVE to me you’ll apply my materials before you make a purchase!

Bottom line:

Start taking back your power. Look for more and more areas of your life where you can be responsible. Love and accept yourself for who and what you are. And don’t forget to feel your feelings – cleanly.

Bookmark & Share

Will Your Product Help Me? is a post from: Emotional Times