Emotional Healing And Emotional Health

I wrote this blog on emotional healing and emotional health because nothing is more important than how you feel.  But here’s the problem:

We’ve been taught and conditioned from a very early age to believe emotions are bad and wrong and we shouldn’t even have them.  Emotions are the enemy, we’ve been taught.  This conditioning is so powerful, and so pervasive, it’s hard to even see it.

It goes unspoken.  It’s an accepted ‘truth’.

But here’s a higher truth:

Life is an emotional experience.

Life is about your emotions.  Nothing holds greater importance than how you feel.  Sadly, we often don’t come to this realization until we’re on the low end of the emotional spectrum.

Here’s What’s Going On

Your heart is the seat of your consciousness. But in today’s society, we’re taught to believe our minds are in charge.  It’s all about the mind.  From an early age, we’re taught that we should feel with our mind, while our heart has little or no value.

We try to think our way out of feeling.  We learn to ‘manage’ our feelings.  We try to control them – manipulate them – stuff them down or repress them.  Anything but simply feel them!

Your heart longs to feel. But we learn at an early age we’re not supposed to feel.

“Big boys don’t cry.”

“Good little girls don’t get angry.”

“Don’t be afraid.”

We end up stuffing down our true feelings so we can fit in.  We want to belong.  And since everybody else is manipulating their feelings, we start doing it too.

But pain is caused by –

1. A separation from,
2. And a longing for, some thing.

When you’re separate from something you long for, it creates pain.  When you manipulate or attempt to control your emotions in some way, so that the feelings are not able to be felt by your heart, it will create emotional pain.

Emotional pain is a natural and ever-present by-product of trying to manage your emotions.


Emotional pain is a message – a warning – that your relationship with your emotions is faulty.  When you ignore that message, the pain increases.  It really is that simple.  That’s why it can be downright dangerous to listen to the advice you hear from most people when it comes to emotional healing.  Because they almost always are trying to get you to manage your emotions as a way to reduce the emotional pain.  And that never works.  It never has and it never will.  It can’t.

The more you try to manage your emotions, the worse you’re going to feel.

Why You Need Emotional Healing

Emotional healing helps you return to your natural way of feeling.
You did not come into this world to suffer, no matter what you’ve been taught to the contrary.  Life is not about suffering and struggling and enduring pain.  Rather, it’s about meeting our needs, so we can reach and stretch and grow.

Almost from the day we were born, we’ve been fed erroneous and misleading information from well-meaning people who were only trying to help.

“I’m only telling you this for your own good….”

And they really believed what they were saying.  Beliefs get pounded into our heads about emotions that are simply not true.  But we come to accept them as the Gospel Truth because we don’t know any better.  And everywhere you turn, the message gets reinforced.  Everywhere in society – everybody ‘knows’ that emotions are the source of all your problems.


It becomes hard to even talk about emotions without someone thinking there must be something wrong with you.

Emotional health requires us to remove the masks we wear.

Can I even show my true feelings to the world?

Emotional healing gets shoved way down on the ‘to-do’ list of living life.  Only when the problem becomes severe, and we’re forced to focus on it, do we start searching for solutions.

So why do you need emotional healing?

Because you did not come here to be in pain.  Life is too short to suffer.  You came here to change things – to rise about the erroneous beliefs of society.  You were born for a reason; it’s not chance or dumb luck that got you here.  There is a greater plan.

Look, we live in a very dysfunctional society.  But because it’s all we know, it’s hard to see how unnatural it really is.  Dysfunction and pain become ‘normal’.  Not because they really are, but because it’s all we know.

It’s not your emotions that need healing – rather it’s the erroneous beliefs and attitudes we carry around with us like concrete blocks – that’s what needs healing.

Your emotions are fine.  They don’t cause pain.  Emotions never cause pain.  Blocking your emotions always causes pain.  Managing your emotions causes pain.  Attempting to control your emotions causes pain.

So it’s not really ’emotional healing’ as much as it is ‘belief and attitude healing’.  Then, you can return to your natural way of feeling.

What Is Emotional Health?

Let me hold up my own life experience as an example of emotional health.

Mark Ivar Myhre, The Emotional Healing Wizard

Me trying to look cool.

I get angry.  I get scared and lonely.  I get hurt.  I get sad, even a little depressed sometimes.  But it never lasts!  I could even feel despair, but it wouldn’t last more than a minute or two.  (Well, okay, maybe an hour!)  Why?

Because I’ve learned I have an ’emotional wellspring’ deep inside me.  There’s a flow of emotion that comes into me.  It comes from God, as far as I can tell.  This flow of emotion is a gift.

It’s a gift to be able to feel!

Emotions are a gift from God, in my opinion.  Once I really let that in, my life started to change for the better.

I am connected to this flow.  It’s always ‘on’.  The flow is always coming into me.  And it’s meant to flow through me.  When I block or impede that flow in any way, it’s going to create problems.  Guaranteed.

Emotions are too powerful to be contained.  They carry too much energy and power.  You’re playing with dynamite when you attempt to control them.

Emotions connect you to divine energy.

When you’re in a state of emotional health, you allow yourself to feel whatever comes up.  You are willing to feel all your feelings.  Now, here’s the problem:

We try to feel with our head instead of feeling with our heart.

I dare say most people have not felt a true feeling since they were small children.  Most people don’t know what true, unadulterated feelings are.  Instead, they only know ‘managed’ feelings.


They’ve encapsulated their feelings with their thoughts.  And that’s playing with dynamite.  That’s not emotional health!

Emotional health comes from embracing a whole new mindset about your emotions. It comes from accepting the flow that’s always on.  It comes from letting emotions flow right through you.  Surrendering to the flow, without submitting to it.

Emotional healing comes from having the courage to rebel against the lies you’ve been taught your whole life about what it means to have feelings. It comes from allowing yourself to question your own beliefs and assumptions about life and living and what it means to feel.

Ending emotional pain starts with choice. It starts with choosing to start allowing yourself to feel – without telling yourself stories about what those feelings mean.  It starts with a willingness to feel all your feelings.

The more you can just let yourself feel the true, unadulterated feelings, the more emotional healing you’ll experience in your life.  So how do you do that, exactly?  Lot’s of baby steps; lots of small realizations; lots of allowing yourself to open up to what’s really going on.

It won’t happen in a weekend.  But it can start right this minute.  It starts with being willing to open to the possibility that maybe – just maybe – everything I know about my emotions, I learned from other people.  And no matter how well-meaning they may have been, they were wrong.

Look, separating your thoughts from your feelings, so you can learn how to feel again, is going to take some time and practice.  But I’m living proof it can happen.  You can be as happy as you want, if you’re also willing to feel as sad as you are.  When you’re willing to feel all your feelings, that opens you up to feeling whatever you want to feel.

Willingness to feel it all leads to feeling what you want.

No sounder advice could be given to  someone who’s ready for true emotional healing.  It’s at least worth pondering.  Hopefully, it stirs up some confusion.  Because the one who’s never confused is the one who never grows.

Something to think and feel about…

I may amend or change this page at any time, so check back often!

Please feel free to leave your comments below.

all the best,

Mark

Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Coach
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{ 77 comments… read them below or add one }

stephanie June 10, 2011 at 8:43 am

Can you address depersonalization? This is an extremely difficult state to be stuck in and many people don’t understand how devastating this can be. I have suffered with this for well over a year and have no idea how to come back. Any help will be appreciated!

Thank you- Stephanie

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Livia June 10, 2011 at 11:58 am

I agree – depersonalization is a terrible state and I too get very stuck in it. It can be very scary!

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Mark Ivar Myhre June 10, 2011 at 12:26 pm

I can remember very well what it was like to feel separated from myself. It was a crazy feeling. My life was like watching a movie that I just happened to be in.

“This isn’t real.”

“I’m going crazy.”

“I AM crazy.”

Of course, at the time, I thought I was the only one who felt like that. And this was long before the internet.

Yes, I’ll write about it soon.

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carrie June 10, 2011 at 8:48 am

Great stuff! Iam learning and trying to model it for my 11 yr old daughter, hopefully her future will be full of “feeling”.

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Shirl June 10, 2011 at 9:36 am

Stephanie, Depersonalisation is awful. I have had this a lot too. I know how you feel. Try http://www.anxietynomore.co.uk. You can read about it there. It tells you what it is, why we suffer with it and how to handle it.

Shirl

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Cathy June 10, 2011 at 8:52 am

I think you are right on! Everyone experiences many feelings daily and we need to acknowledge these feelings (even the not so nice feelings) to move forward with living.

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Shirl June 10, 2011 at 8:54 am

Hi Shirl here, I think what you have said about emotions is absolutely spot on!!!! I am in permanent emotional pain because I try to all the time I am trying to block or deny my feelings. Its like I have been trying to think my way through them instead of allowing myself to feel them. I am 53 years old now so I’m no spring chicken. I have never allowed my self to truly get in touch with my feelings. I’m scared you see. Scared they wil overwhelm me. So I shove them back down with junk food and as a result, gain weight. Also, I am scared of being myself! I have been married for almost 20 years and my husband has never known the real me!! My dad did not accept me for who I really am and he didn’t love me either so why should anyone else?! I have spent most of my life hiding the real me and shoving down my emotions. Not good. As a result – I think anyway – I have had 4 nervous breakdowns in 30 years!!!! I have suffered with panic, anxiety and agoraphobia!!
So yes, what you say Mark is so true.
Shirley
Southport
Uk

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Mark Ivar Myhre June 10, 2011 at 12:37 pm

Who told you the pain was permanent? Maybe now would be a good time to take a look at that belief?

It can be overwhelming to let in the feelings. But I’ve found that if I do it cleanly – just by feeling the feelings and letting the thoughts and stories go for the moment, that it actually feels pretty good. And it’s about as overwhelming as going surfing or skiing or riding on a roller coaster. In other words, it’s more of a rush than an overwhelm.

Even the ‘bad’ feelings can be a rush of energy!

Even fear can be exhilarating. The problem is, it’s just so darn tempting for me to tell myself a story every time I start to feel a little fear. Then the fear gets locked into place.

“They’ll know you’re scared.”

So what?

And it’s never too late to start healing – hey – you’re younger than I am!

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Shirl June 10, 2011 at 4:37 pm

Hi Mark, I don’t know who told me the pain was permanent BUT clearly my dad was in pain all his life and I have been too. So wether there is a link there, I’m not sure. The only difference is that his pain resulted in him being angry, aggressive and abusive whilst mine has made me withdraw into myself.

Perhaps I should try to let the feelings come Mark. And maybe I should just let the thoughts and stories go. But is it really that easy? I can’t imagine it feeling good. But your description is good. You describe it as being more of a rush rather than being overwhelming.

My fear Mark has been locked into place for years. I have spent so much time living in the past that I can’t get my head around my future. Somebody said that I spent so much time in the past because its safer! Its true too.

Interestingly you mention, “They’ll know your’re scared”. That is one of my phobia’s. Having people see I’m scared. I had had a breakdown when I was 19 and was in bed feeling ill and terrified. My dad came into my room in a rage and ripped the covers off my bed in an attempt to get me up and ready for work. He didn’t even give me chance. His behaviour amounted to abuse and he rejected me when I needed him most. Now I will do anything to avoid people seeing me scared- not easy when I recently suffered anxiety and DP for 3.5 years.

But yes, at my age its about time I started healing.

Thanks Mark.

Shirley

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Lachlen June 13, 2011 at 6:23 pm

Hi Shirley, Your pain can stop today! About 2.5 years ago we lost our son in a drowning accident and the emotions I felt then were like a flood washing through me; after a lifetime of “managing” my emotions, that flood could not be “managed” and I had no choice but to allow them to flow over me and through me. They didn’t kill me and after a few weeks, I started to recognize that they were like a rainbow of emotions; that the love I felt for my son was mixed with the sadness of losing him and there were even elements of joy from past memories of fun we had and the beautiful qualities he had. After a while I stopped worrying about my emotions and can now let them flow naturally. I don’t recommend waiting until you lose a loved one, but I promise your emotions won’t kill you.
In the two years since, I have recovered from bowel cancer, which added to my appreciation that Life is a Gift and the energy of Life is Unconditional Love, as with the sunshine. Everything we receive is a free gift; we can’t do anything to “earn” even a second of sunshine, or a breath of air, or a single drop of rain, and if we try, we actually block the Unconditional Love which is the nature of All Life, including our true nature. You can directly experience Unconditional Love today by expressing it , but it must be expressed without conditions or expectations of any kind; and the best way I have found to do this is to do it in secret, so no-one knows it was you. I was speaking to a friend about this recently and he had attempted this exercie by washing his daughter’s car while she was out of town; the daughter said nothing and after several days it got too much for my friend. He asked his daughter if she noticed he’d washed the car (which instantly disclosed his need for appreciation, making his act conditional, which almost always causes disappointment) and he received the perfect reply; “yes Dad, I did notice, I wondered why you didn’t wash the wheels!” Opps! try again.
with Unconditional Love,
Lachlan

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amandus June 10, 2011 at 8:55 am

my friend think about who you are to put up these important emotional healing,you are perfect to do this.i preferred this to opinions that its something from your brains that make things happen i will take your point as its the first challenge i ever had,speed up good work you are bringing in to everyone as a gift from god.emotional is the one that drive us to be who we are at the end,what to take at no risk in life,who to be become next gerneration to come.this is very very important in everyone lives,and offcoase if it could me that is the life of others you are speeding up,because you are encouraging them the way they should atleast handle and control the outcome at any level of life. this is the small you start,but the minutes are too long to end your careeres.god bless you on this important events in your life and lifes of others in deeply.
regard:amandus
thank you.

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Carl Johnson June 10, 2011 at 8:59 am

We have been so programmed to not accept emotions that it creates emotionless people who become “heartless”. If we accept the natural emotions which the heart triggers, we will certainly become better beings and grow. If we do not accept and allow our emotions to flow, we are destroying the natural senses we were created with. Yes, some “emotions” need to be kept in check, when discussed with the heart; however, I feel the same about most of what I read here Mark.
Keep on trucking!!

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David McCannon June 10, 2011 at 9:00 am

Nice job Mark, your blog looks great. I do not know how much input I can give since my focus is just no longer on emotional health since my new website is more based on recovery from a Christian view point. Keep up the good work.

Dave

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Caroline Valentic June 10, 2011 at 9:05 am

A year ago, I went through a horrible divorce and child custody battle. I was so obsessed in my thinking of pain and regret. I couldn’t release this obsessive cycle. I coudn’t even watch a tv show long enough to stop the thoughts going on and on. I googled “how to stop obsessive thinking” and with the hand of God I found your write-up about it. The solution was to feel the feelings…. Oh.My.Gosh. I couldn’t believe the magnitude of feelings that came to the surface. I have never thought or obsessed about that particular regret since. Your words have provided so much peace this last year. Whenever I just needed someone to talk to, I would go in my email and read your words. You have completely changed my life-and my four kid’s lives as I now teach them to feel feelings, too. (Something I never allowed, before…) Thank you for doing what you have been called to do. The impact of your words has literally changed my life. I feel so much healthier and stronger.

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Mark Ivar Myhre June 10, 2011 at 12:39 pm

Teaching the kids – that’s awesome!

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Orenda June 10, 2011 at 9:22 am

I find your explanations about emotion very inspiring and true.
Personally I am influenced by something called Human Design, where you can be emotionally ‘defined’ or emotionally ‘undefined’. Meaning there are different kinds of strategies for different kinds of people. For instance: when you are emotionally defined, you have your own emotional wave, that goes up and down in its own natural rhythm. But when you are emotionally undefined, you tend to pick up emotions from other people.
Human Design also says that one should not make any descisions with the mind, only with the heart, or feelings. And that when one learns to do that more and more, one starts to feel more happy and ‘in the flow’..same story.

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Mark Ivar Myhre June 10, 2011 at 12:42 pm

Thanks for talking about that, Orenda.

The only thing I would add is that I try to always bring in BOTH my feelings and my thoughts.

I know I harp on feelings a lot, but really I’m more of a thinker. I only emphasize the feelings because they’ve been so devalued.

By the way, I believe an ’emotion’ is a package of both thoughts AND feelings.

To me, it’s the balance between the two. that’s what I strive for.

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Julia O'Neill June 10, 2011 at 9:24 am

Mark,
I agree with much of what you are saying. Being diagnosed as “emotionally disfunctional” among other things, I really have to wonder if the whole world isn’t? I think another problem is negative emotions. Some of us were brought up being taught those more than positive emotions. I say taught, and have to remind myself that it was nothing more than that, I just have to re-learn everything. It’s too bad society doesn’t have some mandatory emotional healing course taught to everyone early on, huh? 🙂
Thanks for all you do!

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Mark Ivar Myhre June 10, 2011 at 12:46 pm

yes, it would be neat if we had more training on emotions – but let’s don’t make it mandatory. Let’s make it exclusive; hard to get into. Then everybody will want it! Especially when they see people feeling better…!

Of course, the first thing we’d have to do is explain there are no ‘bad’ emotions – they become ‘bad’ when we don’t feel them cleanly and release them completely. IMHO.

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Billy June 10, 2011 at 9:25 am

Mark,
The article is outstanding on many levels. I’m in a 12 step program, really three, and what you are espousing is right on target from what I’ve learned throughout 12 years of sobriety. Last year at this time your articles were the guiding light I needed to get past all my past learning and get into unlearning. Your article hits the mark on so many points, or levels, that I know you have walked the walk and not just giving us a “Talk the talk”. I’ve been to a few therapists and none has even come close to explaining what is going on inside me like your article has done in a few short minutes and some contemplative time to try and digest what you’ve written about many times before. This article hones all you’ve been telling everyone for a long time. Keep up the GREAT work and hopefully we’ll talk soon. I did pay for an hour with you and have not taken the time to really sit down and determine what my most pressing problem is. I’ve got so much going on in my life it would take more than the hour to get it all out in the open.

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Mark Ivar Myhre June 10, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Hey Billy,

glad I could help.

So let’s talk! So I can go cash your check!

Seriously, you’d be surprised how many people pay me for a consultation and then they never get back with me. (About one in ten, actually.)

I guess there’s a few reasons why –

1. Don’t really want to change.

2. Want everything to be perfect before we talk.

3. They’re at the end of their rope and they have no other hope, and if they talk to me and I can’t help them, then they’ll really be in a pickle. So they keep me as their ace in the hole, so to speak. Afraid that if I can’t help they’ll have nothing else to fall back on.

4. They chicken out.

5. They just keep putting it off – procrastinating because of some other unrecognized reason….

Anyway, I’ll be here.

I’m guessing you’re reason number 2?

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Orenda June 10, 2011 at 10:04 am

Perhaps so called ‘negative’emotions are caused bij too much ego?
When I feel furious, it is mostly because of my EGO’s selfrighteous indignation.
When one gets VERY angry, is it not because one suppressed the anger at first, so it got stronger?
To let all emotions out CAN be harmful, for others and for yourself too, I think/feel.
Only when you did not at first react naturally at the onset/beginnig of the emotion can it get so much out of hand that it becomes damaging?

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Mark Ivar Myhre June 10, 2011 at 1:01 pm

When you don’t feel the emotion when it first comes up, then it has to go somewhere. And it can get stronger.

And the ego eggs it on, I would say. Making it worse.

But I don’t want to ‘let it out’ because usually that’s just melodrama and doesn’t mean I’m feeling it and yes, it can be harmful to others. And of course to yourself!

But if you find yourself with the emotional baggage now – you can always start by writing it out on paper. I’ve bled quite a bit out that way – just scribbling and screaming onto the page. I’ve found the paper can take it quite nicely.

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Shirl June 10, 2011 at 10:08 am

Stephanie, I have had a lot of trouble with depersonalistion over the years. I call it UNREALITY. Go to http://www.anxietynomore.co.uk where they tell you what DP is, why we feel that way and what you can do about it. It really helps take some of the fear out of it for you.

Shirley
Southport
Uk

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Veona June 10, 2011 at 10:21 am

You have been a great help to me in facing personal issues. God bless

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Bob Bloom June 10, 2011 at 10:27 am

As David wrote, the blog looks great and the message is spot on. Due to the fact that our culture is deeply conditioned to conceptualize our feelings rather than actually feel the energetic experience within the body, it may take a while to sink in, but I am pleased that the message is getting out.

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Dianne June 10, 2011 at 10:36 am

Mark,

Thanks for an insightful look at feelings. It sounds right to me.

I work with people who experience physical and emotional pain. From a scientific viewpoint, emotions change chemistry in the body. It seems, healing pain demands expression of feelings– putting right the chemistry– if you will. When working with people, I try to make a safe place for expression of feelings during our sessions, so the feelings don’t have to bleed into areas of life where it is less appropriate to express them.
Finding the balance of mind, body, emotions and spirit, is an interesting journey. Thanks for your part in helping people find that balance.
Dianne

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Judy June 10, 2011 at 10:41 am

Yes, Mark, I like how you found that what you resist persists. To embrace what we term “disturbing” emotions/thoughts as dear children is the way through. One therapist I had who was Jungian said when I had the nightmare where someone was chasing me to turn around and face them, they had valuable information to share. I just thought they wanted to kill me!

I find Byron Katie’s The Work helps me the most in cutting through the complexities of our thinking/emotions. Four simple questions and a turnaround has a laser-like effect. Check her out!

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Raywyn M.E. "Kiwi" June 10, 2011 at 10:47 am

Congratulations Mark… you are right on and I will forward your information to everyone I know, including the recovery /transition houses I work in as this is what I am helping them to understand. I have a new analogy to help … it is called Defragging (like we do in the computer … we have to call home all pieces of our consciousness “self” we have left out there, over there somewhere … ) and experience them … welcome them back home = wholeness). If you give some one a piece of your mind, you can’t have peace of mind, heart, body or soul! Some call it Soul retrieval, some call it disassociation, depersonalization or whatever … it creates a feeling of fragmentation, separation, isolation or disconnection… whatever we choose to call it. Thanks a million for making it clear and simple. How do we reconnect … not be afraid of our feelings, glad, sad, mad, scared!!! Enjoy the process … Breathe, think, feel, emote or express the Life force, energy in motion moving within and throughout the body. Feelings are the messenger of the Soul they let us know if we are in or out of alignment with our own Truth via core belief system. If not we feel alien in our own body. Time to revisit what I think, feel, believe and the amazing whys … the Gold Key … when one finger points out it is coming up from unconscious via the heart, arm and projecting out into the world, on to someone or something else. Meanwhile three fingers point back and the thumb upwards (mental, emotional, physical, spiritual) … ASK yourself … what in me needs to be reviewed, evaluated, updated, revealed, changed, healed and let go of or released!) This helps to bring me home in to the moment … PreSent!!!
Kia Ora and Blessings, Kiwi in Canada … Raywyn M.E.
Author of LIVING CHOICES: Key-ways to meet the challenge of change – a blueprint for success through Life’s construction zone on to the Rainbow Highway of Life – Your Choice!
PS Mark … this is what German New Medicine , Total Biology (French) and Brandon Bays “The Journey” … is all about … healing Cancer and other health issues filed in the tissues … also called Cellular Memory Release!!!

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Mark Ivar Myhre June 11, 2011 at 11:11 am

It’s great to hear from you again! And I really like that defragging idea!

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Karah Fisher Madrone June 10, 2011 at 10:54 am

Beautiful, Mark.
Centering, grounding, liberating, beautiful stuff.
What you share here can bring a person home…home to heart, home to self, home to one’s life. I taste all of that as I read.

My one recommendation as a homepage…is to consider a shift to the introduction.

As an editor and a writer I find that writing is generally strongest when it focuses most on what IS and less on what ISN’T–when we name what we are doing, rather than what we aren’t doing. Because you’re writing is clear and strong, I imagine you’re well acquainted with how often a piece shines brightest when we let go of everything that isn’t essential. So my question is: which FEELS stronger to you: beginning with what is erroneous “out there,” or beginning with the truth that is “in” you that you offer: “Life is an emotional experience.”

Thank you for this piece. Every bit of encouragement to feel, embrace feeling, engage it, and become a “fluent,” fluid “feeler”…is a great gift in this world.

Cheers,
Karah

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Mark Ivar Myhre June 11, 2011 at 11:18 am

Great to hear from you again, Karah. Hope all is going well.

As for my writing – I have a few problems. Mostly, I ‘fall in love with my words’ as the saying goes, so I tend to use too many of them, and edit them too sparingly. Plus I’m not very poetic at stringing the words together and that bugs me. And I hardly ever go back over what I’ve written, so there’s a lack of editing.

But as for your question – I never thought about it before. I just start rambling – I mean writing – pretty much whatever is in my head.

This is all pretty much just my own little processing that I decided to share with the world.

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shivani June 10, 2011 at 11:15 am

hey, really like the article, i am really learning to be more real with people, like most women we are always taught to be polite, and say things that are pleasing. just recently i had to to really voice to my friend that she was disrespecting me about certain something that was important to me. usually i would just keep my true hurt feelings to myself, but by voicing it to her i really felt i was honering myself. usually i let things go, or overlook things avoid uncomfortable feelings, now i feel it is better for me to voice how i really feel, instead catering to others, even if it means others may change there views on me.

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Livia June 10, 2011 at 11:57 am

Sometimes I think you are living inside my head………. it’s like you know EXACTLY how I feel except you know how to put it all into words.
Very interesting piece about Emotions. I understand exactly what you’re saying but I find it so hard to actually feel emotions. How do you FEEL them without thinking? Ive been trained to think my emotions my entire life.
Since tapering from antidepressents (13 years on them) I’m having actual emotions. I’m so up and down right now. (what a doctor would call mentally ill) I think the meds masked ALL my emotions so for the last 13 years I havent grown emotionally at all. Perhaps this could be what is sending me into incredible panic all the time. I’m not familiar with feeling this way and it’s scaring the LIFE out of me. Although I LOVE having all these emotions, I’m starting to little by little feel alive again (I just DREAD the down/gloomy days)
Your emails , your blogs and your different ebooks Ive bought are truly a godsend for me. You have helped me more than any psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist, program out there. I totally get what you’re saying and you help me put the pieces together while I’m trying to figure this all out…. thank you for EVERYTHING!!!
Do you ever have seminars or retreats/classes? I’d be willing to fly to Florida from ontario for them. 🙂

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Mark Ivar Myhre June 11, 2011 at 11:07 am

Hi Livia,

regarding your question about ‘how do you feel’ – I understand it takes time to get back to the way we were designed to be.

It’s a matter of stepping back and looking at the big picture. So many of us get stuck on a hamster wheel that’s spinning in our head.

You can practice by focusing your attention on the middle of your chest. And letting go of the thoughts. Maybe imagine yourself letting that hamster wheel sink down to your heart.

Imagine all those thoughts are spinning on the hamster wheel, and so as you watch the wheel sink down, imagine all the thoughts keep spinning as they sink. The thoughts stay on the wheel, but the wheel is leaving your head and going down into your heart.

Also, keep in mind that WILLINGNESS leads the way. Am I willing to feel with my heart? Am I willing to open up my heart?

See, we’ve all put up these huge walls around our heart to keep out the intensity (from childhood usually.)

And to start breaking down those walls, it starts with being willing.

As for the seminars – none yet. I’m sure it’s just a matter of time. But I’m always available to talk over the phone. Just click here –

http://www.join-the-fun.com/consult-with-me.html

Or maybe you just wanted to come to Florida? 🙂
We can talk about that!

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Leslie June 10, 2011 at 12:48 pm

First Of All I Think People, In General, Especially Teenagers And Young Adults Should Look Inside Themselves When They See Someone With Depersonalization, And Ask Themselves— “What If That Happend To Me”? And Instead Of Ignoring That Person With A Depersonalization Problem; Try To Be More Compassionate And Understanding Of That Person! And Second, Maybe Talk With Them About It, Or Just Listen To Them! These Are My Thoughts About It Anyway!

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Mark Ivar Myhre June 11, 2011 at 10:43 am

Hi Leslie,

always good to hear from you!

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Bob June 10, 2011 at 1:40 pm

You are so right on Mark , as usual with all your articles 🙂 For me personally , I have learned to live with my negative emotions , depression , depersonalization for so many years I have adjusted to it and it seems to be just who I am . All these negative emotions and heartache is the soul crying out to DO SOMETHING , make a CHANGE , and TRUST oneself . Trusting oneself is very important and I guess I dont anymore . The things I have tried failed , and now I’m scared to try anything new to help myself . Its an inner war between the mind and the heart . Living in society doesnt help because to survive in life you have to use you head , or get knocked down and to the wayside . All this is at the expense of following what you know is right deep down inside , and what you really want out of life to be happy . How did you find the courage and energy to break through all that ? I’m working on it , but its a struggle and I seem to be getting nowhere and that in itself is depressing . I’m the ultimate procrastinater too …. which doesnt help matters 🙂 It seems I’d rather be complacent and miserable than risk a big scarey change .

Another good article Mark !

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Mark Ivar Myhre June 11, 2011 at 10:43 am

You’ve inspired me to write a new article which I’ll publish in a day or two.

I’ll call it “You Can Change Now” or “It Can Be Different Now” or something like that.

I’ll talk about finding that courage.

You’ll see it soon.

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Wendy June 10, 2011 at 2:24 pm

It all sounds sane sense to me. I have been told by Christian Ministers that feelings don’t matter. I am no longer involved in organised religion, and leaving it was the best thing I did. I am now able to explore methods of healing which have nothing to do with the kind of thing that happened within the church. I have found EFT, which is a huge help in releasing emotions and not judging them. As Shakespeare said, “there is neither good nor bad, but thinking makes it so”. We all have a shadow side which we need to embrace without shame or guilt. Religion just wants to make people feel ashamed and guilty about their thoughts and feelings. I am blind, and realise that a lot of my deep sadness and depression has been about that, so letting my emotions come to the surface has helped enormously.

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Judy June 10, 2011 at 3:17 pm

Mark,

Love your words! When I read this I feel like things start to make sense and that I am not crazy after all. I like the way you write as well. You are a good teacher.

Thanks for everything,
Judy

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RMC June 10, 2011 at 5:29 pm

Very clever, this last request for feedback really got me thinking!!
My original response was about 500 words and took me through a range of emotions. Ultimately I realized I had answered my own question.

Thank you 🙂

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Mark Ivar Myhre June 11, 2011 at 10:55 am

yeah, I’m sneaky.

But we missed out on your 500 words! Too bad…

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sonya June 10, 2011 at 5:47 pm

Hi Mark,

I think your take on this stuff is exceptional. When I read what you write it always resonates…..you know……. on a cellular level. Invariably also it opens a door to something for me.

It’s a shame I’m not in a position to purchase some sessions or some of your books, but I’m grateful for the moments of ease I experience with your emails. Please, keep them coming!

Living with emotional pain sure is not pleasant, but thanks to your words I am finding there is a way to gradually let it go.

By dint of cirumstance I’m obliged to take the slow route, but nevertheless the progress is very encouraging.

You’re a real and rare gem for those who want to heal.

With much gratitude.
Sonya

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Cyn June 10, 2011 at 6:28 pm

Great information from a really cute guy!

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Marie June 10, 2011 at 6:51 pm

I feel a lot with my heart and not with my head. Sometimes it has gotten me in trouble if I am consumed with my feelings. Sometimes you have to use your head to determine if your feelings are valid. My husband once told me that feelings are neither good or bad, they just are. It’s what you do about them that may be good or bad. I have learned to pray to God for wisdom and guidance about important decisions. I asked my pastor, how would I know that the decision I made was from God and not my own feelings controlling me. She said I would have peace if the decision was from God. So that comforts me.

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Mark Ivar Myhre June 11, 2011 at 10:39 am

I would say that feeling with my heart never consumes me. It’s NOT feeling with my heart that consumes me with feelings. I believe that’s where depression and anxiety and other problems come from – for the most part.

I agree that it’s good to use your head to temper your feelings, as you mentioned. And I agree with your husband’s comments. And I also pray for guidance and wisdom – quite a bit actually.

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david June 10, 2011 at 11:56 pm

Great site Mark..thanks for all your words and teachings
David

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Annomynous boy June 11, 2011 at 1:27 am

This is a really good article for emotional healing. I continously have negative thoughts arond me from my teenage time, could you provide me some help with that ,,,,,

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Mark Ivar Myhre June 11, 2011 at 10:35 am

Maybe the unresolved inner-adolescent inside you has too much of your power, and there’s too much intensity back there – and he (who’s very much alive right now) is trying to break through to you.

Maybe you’re keeping that past alive (as thoughts) so you won’t have to feel the pain that was generated back then. Maybe the negative thoughts are a convenient distraction from dealing with all that stuff.

Maybe you hang onto that past to punish yourself.

These are some areas I would look at.

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Angela Byrne June 11, 2011 at 2:00 am

Dear Mark,

I am not actually sure how I came across your website – but I have to say I think your advice is wonderful and it has really helped me. Thank you so much. I really get a lot of help from your emails.
Thank you again

Angela

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Caroline June 11, 2011 at 6:50 am

I love reading your articles. They feel very personal to me and it’s nice to read in words, the thoughts I have in my head! I can’t seem to get the words down on paper with the same meaning and intent. Thank you for all your hard work.

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Mike June 11, 2011 at 7:02 am

This is a great description/discussion about emotions. Very life-affirming and liberating. You articulate the issues so well. It takes real courage to be willing to experience your own feelings fully in the moment for those of us brought up to suppress. It’s like a big scam – that we should not feel our feelings. I think it’s because parents and teachers want to control the inconvenience and noise of someone crying or laughing loudly or seeking emotional support. It’s refreshing to hear someone champion emotional life in the way you are doing. thanks.

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Heather June 11, 2011 at 10:12 am

This Post is excellent. Your writings and meditations have given me so much insight and healing over the last year. If you don’t mind, I’d like to link to your site.

I did want to say something in defense of Societies push to “manage” or “control” emotions. I think well meaning authority figures have been spouting those phrases in an attempt to get us to control our actions when we’re feeling emotions strongly.

Spending time with children and young adults, I’ve often marveled at how intensly they feel their emotions. That much energy building is bound to cause movement. More often than not, that wild erratic movement causes destruction.
That wild erratic movement can be caused by both positive or negative emotions. Anger and frustration will break a vase or put a hole in the wall as easily as excitement and joy!

As we age, we need to learn to control our actions in spite of our feelings. We need to love ourselves and forgive ourselves in spite of our feelings and because of our feelings.
When we learn to love ourselves unconditionally we allow ourselves to be ‘less than’ some impossible perfection that’s been imposed on us since our youth. We allow ourselves to feel our emotions, make our mistakes, release our fears and in the process we discover how wonderfully perfect we really are.

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Mark Ivar Myhre June 11, 2011 at 10:30 am

Hi Heather,

I agree that children need boundaries to their expression of emotion. I don’t know what the best answer is.

However, I would like to point out that physical action in a grown up is often melodrama rather than true feeling. My experience has been that when I really feel – REALLY feel, with my heart and not my head – it’s like it tingles inside, and there’s very little desire or compulsion to move my body.

I agree we need to be in charge of our feelings – and maybe have control
*over* them (meaning, setting boundaries) but necessarily controlling the emotions themselves.

Control the context, maybe, without controlling the content.

(I’m still trying to figure this stuff out!)

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Mark Ivar Myhre June 11, 2011 at 10:54 am

I forgot to say – please do link to my site!

Shoot, put up two links!

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Erin June 11, 2011 at 11:47 am

It is such a great reminder to put out there- that our emotions are a constant flow and therefore there is always an opportunity to increase the flow no matter when or what’s going on. Things are always changing- we need to be like water- always willing to allow transforamtions to take place. I guess if we become too focused on rules or what’s right and wrong we can find ourself missing the opportunity to transform and change and grow. I believe nothing is ever lost- we can always recover what’s lost and reconnect to our true selves. There is potential within us to heal from things we never thought possible- we just have to allow that healing power to flow.

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Marcus Baker June 11, 2011 at 9:54 pm

Hi Mark,

I enjoyed reading your article which I relate to completely.

It’s true what you say about it not taking only a weekend to remember how to focus on feeling rather than thinking one’s way, so people need to be gentle with themselves.

We live in such an “instant results” type society which does not serve us when it comes to matters of the heart because we have buried this natural part so deeply that it takes time for us to remember.

However when you make this a conscious choice there is no turning back.
I did this about 3 years ago and often during this period I have wanted to reverse the whole process when my feelings have been too intense.

These days I am much better with this since I have learned how to be in touch with the deep resource of peace and joy within which I can always connect to at any time.

However by far, the most challenging part for me was not feeling my emotions when I could but not feeling anything at all.

I was functioning at such a numbed level that I couldn’t feel anything, good or bad. I think this is probably more common than not and because many people ‘can’t’ feel anything, they don’t realize how out of sync they are.

Our emotions constitute the best guidance system for us to know what we are think and believe. When we can’t feel, we are totally “unconscious” to the madness within.

The only way I could start feeling again was to make a conscious effort to get out of my head . I did and still do this by spending a lot of time being quiet in meditation so I can develop presence, enough presence to feel.

I also spend a lot of my time throughout the day checking in with how I am feeling and the only way one can do this is by focusing your attention on your heart and allowing yourself to feel until you do.

~Marcus

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Mark Ivar Myhre June 13, 2011 at 6:26 am

Hey Marcus,

that sounds great! Glad to hear about your success.

I agree it’s about making a conscious effort to get out of our heads for a little while and instead focus on our hearts.

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romeparis June 12, 2011 at 12:19 am

not sure how you got my email….in my experience separation from God is the true source of emotional/spiritual emptiness, distress, etc. I suggest you repent your sins and accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, join the Catholic Church and read the (Catholic) Bible for starters….Jesus is the life of the soul.
God Bless!!!

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pam June 12, 2011 at 9:46 pm

I quote the BIBLI was about a Jewish Messiah…..How does your Catholic Church explain that??????

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Annomyous Boy June 12, 2011 at 7:34 am

Hi Mark,
you are doing a wonderful job by helping people like me sufferening from depression. I would tell u my story , right from my teenage i alwayz have negative thoughts that push me into depression. If i am able to get of one thought then the next one comes in no time. its like something always have to be on my mind, and i cannot get rid of them. Could you provide me some technique to become normal again.

and about a month ago i found three audio’s in which you have explained how to imagine oneself in a deep hole and to make the body a channel to emortions. For some reason i am not able to find those now in your site. could u please also provide me a link of that.

Thanx Mark . May god bless you for helping people in need like me.

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Mark Ivar Myhre June 13, 2011 at 6:21 am

I tell you what would be great – a magic bullet that would make all the pain go away.

Oh wait, they already have that – it’s called ‘drugs’.

Seriously, I don’t think it works that way. I don’t think there is a technique to become normal. Instead, I think it’s a matter of new choices, new mindset, greater responsibility, allowing more love and more healing, letting in the feelings instead of blocking them (so they don’t end up surrounding you and start hurting you).

It’s things like that. It’s being willing to feel ALL your feelings. It’s opening up your emotional pathway – because blocking it always leads to some sort of emotional pain.

It’s a matter of letting your heart be the center of your consciousness rather than your head.

It’s a matter of practicing feeling by imagining your heart opening up. These are some ideas
of how to work on becoming normal again. But what is ‘normal’?

Anyway, regarding those audios – you may be referring to the audios on these
sites –

http://www.handle-depression.com

http://www.release-emotions.com

http://www.healing-emotional-pain.com/page2.htm

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Rocksanne June 12, 2011 at 8:46 pm

Mark,
First of all I want to thank you for sharing your work. I have been transforming my perspectives on life since I committed to sobriety, my family and – ultimately – to finding love and happiness and abundance in my life. Your words on this, as well as your meditations, have helped me more than you’ll ever know. I am grateful to you, friend. You are a soothing and healing being in my life. My life is better for your efforts. Many thanks.
I wanted to also let you know that you aren’t the only one. I am being guided by Robert Burney – joy2meU.com as well. His work and yours have a lot in common. Together, you have been quite a force in my life.
I can see the interconnectedness now. It is so clear and the fear is all gone.
Be well.

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Marie-Luise June 13, 2011 at 3:01 am

Hi Mark, I cannot tell you how much I always look forward to your articles and insight – it all resonates with me so much. This truth has been helping me in understanding my depressing feelings. I am in recovery from addiction and doing the 12 steps program and I am choosing to not use any medication but rather to heal emotionally – loved ones cannot understand but I trust that anything is possible and that I am on my way in recovery and healing. Thanx so much for all the help and insights!!

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Bev McNeill June 13, 2011 at 8:21 am

Dear Mark,
You are a brave person, a survivor and have huge empathy for others.
Thank you for sharing your emotional journey with me. I too have suppressed my true emotions over many years. I have read your blog and your e-book and the wisdom there is wonderful and helpful.
Thank you,
May God bless you in your wonderful work.
Sincerely,
Bev.

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Jenny June 14, 2011 at 5:47 am

I found it easy to relate to what you are saying. I lost my career because (in hind-sight) I ‘allowed’ my boss to play mind games with me. This was followed by Major Depressive disorders; near suicide and becoming a vegetable. Through these experiences and the very slow climb out of that big black hole I learned many things – including the one fact that – I am not my emotions.

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Joachim June 15, 2011 at 12:25 pm

Hi, Mark.
I have followed your blog for a while, and you share good insight and experiences on emotional healing, mental illness and so on.
The one thing I really misses though, is something about existential despair;
some of us don’t take the concepts of a heart, a spirit, or even free will for granted, like most do. This make it very hard to even get a starting point to work on. Everything just seems absurd. My every action seems absurd. The world seems absurd. This constant dissonans between my will to feel, my will to fix thing, and my rationale keeps my locked very tightly in the dark pit.
The past couple of years i’ve been hospitalised, lost my girlfriend and job because I don’t care about anything anymore.
I don’t care about real problems in life. All I think of, are these nihilistic, destructive thoughts. How do people cope with all the information in the world? Science says that emotions are chemicals in the brain. The physical world(and, the world we can say things for sure about), works by the universal laws of causality, making me think that I’m no more than a marionette of history. My mom consist of atoms, which are, ultimately dead themselves. I know it sounds stupid, but I just can’t help myself.
I wish I met someone who has(had) similar thoughs.
-Joachim(29)

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Lachlan June 19, 2011 at 3:25 am

Hi Joachim, when I was 29 I had no more idea of life than you, so don’t worry about that; we believe whatever we believe and that is the “reality” we see, but it’s only an illusion. I suggest buying and listening to Gregg Braden’s audio series “The Spontaneous Healing of Belief” through Nightingale Conant as a first step. Our beliefs are only habits of thought, and most are nonsense, so we see nonsense all around us. The fact that you recognize it as nonsense is an excellent start. I recently learned that the human mind can only perceive about 350 bits of information per second, from amongst more than 2 million bits flowing over and around us; so what seems to happen is that we pick out the 350 bits of information, which “seem” to confirm that our so-called beliefs are “true” and that process goes on until we change our beliefs and begin to see another “truth”. While this might seem pointless, it is also an amazing opportunity; we can learn to “play” with this “stuff” all around us and realize (at least one of) our true purposes, which is to create our own reality by choosing thoughts ( look into “wave-form energy” in quantum physics) and actions (which are acts of faith that we believe what we are doing; then connect quantum “particle-form energy” to the wave form and presto! we have “reality”; wave-form and particle -form always coexist; wave-form is our thoughts and particle-form is so-called solid matter). There is another thing to consider; all energy, including All Life, is provided unconditionally, including your life; you cannot do a single thing to “earn” a second of life, or a single ray of sunlight or a breath of air; so, as we learn to receive unconditionally, we must learn to give unconditional also. Whenever you give unconditionally, not expecting payment of any kind, not even a pat on the back, there can be no possibility of failure! You cannot fail, unless you fail to act (you act with faith that your beliefs will be realized, because you took the time to learn how this stuff works); Isn’t that fun? I’m 64 and have survived cancer and all sorts of crap, and I don’t mind in the least if you use this or not, but at least think about it for a few days and maybe buy the audio series; it will definitely change your life for the better; then learn that this “life” is an amazing experience and learn to play with it; also learn the 7 natural laws of the universe; a basic rule book for this game of life (see these on google); Much love, Lachlan

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Amy June 15, 2011 at 1:18 pm

Quote you – “It’s not your emotions that need healing – rather it’s the erroneous beliefs and attitudes we carry around with us like concrete blocks – that’s what needs healing.”

So true.

You’ve met me and my family knows me but held different/rigid expectations. Family is so disappointed in me but not with my twin sister. I accept that easily now with the help of your ebook. Many thanks to add! 🙂

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Christine Berger June 22, 2011 at 10:27 am

Last night I was thinking how disappointed I was in my husband for not meeting all of my needs, like I do his, when it sudeenly hit me, it’s not that I am angry sad or hurt that he does not meet my needs it’s that it makes me feel worthless. Worthless that I am not deserving of having all my needs met. So that makes it my problem of worthlesness not my problem of him not meeting my needs. Right ? I feel like I had a breakthrough or an apiphany. One more hurdle. Thank you so much. Self pity is the DEVIL !

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Lachlan June 23, 2011 at 2:26 am

Well done Christine! All our actual “needs”, that is, what we need to be alive rather than all our “wants and desires” are met Unconditionally by Life; if that was not so, we’d be dead! Life gives us everything we need, and when we wake up and understand the process of co-creating our lives, it provides everything we desire, too.
You may not know this, but your true essence is Unconditional Loving Energy. Your husband cannot give it to you, but you can experience the truth of my claim by expressing the energy in you as unconditional love; express loving kindness with absolutely no expectation of reward. This is not easy at first, so do it in absolute secrecy, so that the person receiving your loving kindness cannot know who did it. If you expect a pat on the back, or appreciation, or a reward of any kind, your action is selfish, attention-seeking, perhaps even manipulative. I know what that feels like because I did exactly that for 60 years! and thought it was love! it was the kind of love I saw others doing, the kind I saw on the movies, but it was not love. Unconditional Love is like the sunshine or the air we breath or the rain; it is all given to sustain All Life with absolutely no conditions! You might be a Saint, or the worst person on Earth, and the Loving Energy is still given to All; we cannot do a single thing to “earn” that loving energy; there are no hoops to jump through, no prayers, no favors; the Loving Energy is given to All Life, including you and me; AND it is what we are made of! and we can experience it any time simply by expressing it! but if we express needy-ness we feel needy-ness; if we express attention-seeking, we feel we lack attention; if we express anger, we experience anger and so on; this is not rocket science! Others respond to what we express.
Good luck with your journey of self discovery, Christine; remember that the energy of the Universe is love and so are you, so practice expressing your loving essence without attaching any conditions and “feel the love” from which you are made!

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David Haas June 23, 2011 at 1:39 pm

Hello,

I have a great article I would like to share with you regarding health issues. Please let me know if you would be interested in seeing it and sharing it with your readers.

Yours in Health,

David

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Mark Ivar Myhre June 25, 2011 at 3:34 pm

If it were me, I would have sent a link to the article, so that the person I sent it to could read it and then decide. When you phrase it like this, I think most people would say ‘no’. Why? Because I have no idea if the article has anything to do with emotional healing, and I have no idea if it’s really great or not, plus it might be a blatant ad or it might make claims that I disagree with… and there’s probably a few other reasons as well. Plus, what if I read it and don’t like it? Then what? I’ve already made an investment in looking at it, and an investment in talking to you, so it will just be that much harder if I didn’t want to publish it.

But if you wish, reply to this post with a link to your article, and then we can all read it.

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Gail June 28, 2011 at 10:35 pm

Glad to of found your site, Mark. I recently lost my mother and have been going through a hectic time emotionally. There’s like an inner battle going on. I want to feel and be happy with life and I cannot seem to break out of the negative cycle and anxiety that sinks in. I just want to live and truly live and know my purpose and do what makes me happy to feel fulfilled. My biggest thing is love. I want to feel love and be loved and feel so rejected. Mom passed in March and it has not been easy. I have been forced to swim so to speak. Was her full time caretaker and was at home 24/7 with her towards the end and I sacrificed, which I didn’t mind, my life at the time and could not work. I sank into a deep depression during this time and it is hard to get out of it. I have so many ideas and dreams I’d like to realize. The pain, it just really hurts. Lots of disappointments and things happened so fast. Again, glad to of found your site. I’m just wondering how to feel the bad ones and get rid of them? Just stop feeling them? This is where I am kind of confused. I want to feel good again and I keep for some reason doubting and thinking the worst. Thanks Mark.

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Mark Ivar Myhre June 29, 2011 at 8:38 am

Hi Gail,

sorry to hear about all you’ve been through.

I’ll be writing a lot more about this in the near future, but the short answer is to not block the ‘bad’ feelings, but instead to do just the opposite – open your heart full and wide and feel those feelings. Embrace them as fully as possible. Why? Because you have a way to heal – and that is by letting your heart do its job. Your heart can handle those feelings – in fact, it can process them out.

I understand that it can be a bit overwhelming at first. So the answer could be to start slow – and let the feelings in piece by piece. As the feelings come up – practice opening your heart – maybe imagine it opening up like a clam shell – and letting the feelings in.

I’ll be writing about this a lot more soon!

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Shirl June 30, 2011 at 12:53 am

Hi Gail, So sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my dad on Fathers Day last year! Fathers Day in the uk I mean. I have had a battle go on inside me too. Largely because my dad was emotionally abusive for most of my life and I lived in fear of him. Yet I still loved him and was with him half an hour before he died. He died in hospital in Yorkshire. But just like you, I want to feel love and be loved. Yet I also feel rejected. Even though I’m married, I don’t feel like I am loved. Having said that, I saw some years after I got married, that I had erected a barrier between me and hubby and that it was because dad had been emotionally abusive and had rejected me often. But sitting here Gail, I can honestly say I don’t feel loved and am not fulfilled either. I have wanted to do a Counselling Course at college but can’t because its so expensive and we don’t have the money . I have other dreams and ideas too but I am living in my mind and can’t seem to get out of it. I would love to be able to make cards or learn French or do Reflexology, lose weight, but I simply cannot get out of my own mind. I have a book somewhere called, “Stop thinking and start Living”. I think I will have to find it and read it again because I don’t want to be like this any longer and I am 54 now so not in my 20s or 30s. I do understand how you are feeling though because I am feeling pretty much the same my self. Take care. Shirl

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