Usually, it’s one you’ve been dealing with for decades.

It’s happened to me on more than one occasion.

Maybe the problem becomes a huge ugly prison with painful walls that surround me.

But – stubborn as I am – I keep whittling away at it.  And maybe I get it down to a manageable size, so I can visualize myself holding it in my hand.  In fact, often times my goal is to be able to sense it as the size of a grapefruit that I can hold in one hand.  And then…

***

Have you heard the story about how they catch monkeys in India?  (Or wherever monkeys grow.)

They take a big heavy bottle with a small opening at the top, and drop some candy or food into it.  The monkey sees the treat, reaches his hand in, but because he’s made a fist, he can’t get his hand out without letting go of the food.

As the story goes, the monkey just can’t seem to let go of the food, and he’s stuck. Even when he’s facing eminent danger, he can’t bring himself to open his fist so he can escape.

***

I don’t know if the story is true or not, but that’s how I feel sometimes. I do all this work to shrink my problem, but I just can’t take it that last little bit – to completely end it.

So the problem will be just as present in my life as if I’d done nothing at all to heal it.  THAT’S FRUSTRATING.

M3NJAH8S95YZ

I just can’t let it go. It’s like that grapefruit has grown into my hand.  They have merged into one.

(“Ah yes… sensing the oneness of it all,” he said sarcastically.)

Why I can’t seem to let the problem go:

• Maybe the problem has become too much of my identity.  If I let it go, then who will I be?

• Or maybe I’m getting too much of my value from it.  I derive meaning and significance in my life from the constant struggle – going back and forth – playing tug of war with my problem.  And I NEED value!

• Or perhaps I still have some hidden payoff.  Like a thief hiding in the bushes.  I secretly want to avoid being powerful or responsible or intimate with myself…

or it could be any number of other covert reasons.

Anyway, when I’m sensing the oneness of it all (sarcastically speaking) that’s when I have to turn to my ace in the hole.

Oh, I don’t WANT to – not at all.  But I didn’t come into this life to be thwarted by ANY problem.

And that’s when I have to pull out my ace.

It’s my last resort.  When I’m stuck and I can’t go any further, no matter what I do.

That’s when I turn to a Higher Power.

Because when it comes right down to it,  I’m really just one ant in an anthill.  The problem I obsess over – the one that seems so big and important and so PRESENT in my life… well, in the grand scheme of things…

I matter. I know that.  And I can always ask for help.  I know that too.  But it always seems to be a last resort.  When nothing else works.

I guess it’s that stubbornness – I ‘have’ to solve my own problems.

“I don’t need any help!”

What a joke.  But the joke’s on me.  Sometimes it’s stupid to not ask for help.  If I’ve worked so hard to get my problem down to size, and it will shrink no further, and it’s still a problem no matter what I do…

wouldn’t it be dumb to NOT ask a Higher Power for help?

It’s like a little kid refusing to receive a beautiful shiny new bicycle for Christmas.

Honestly, I’ve been that stupid before.  All I can do now is look back and shake my head.

And say, “What was I THINKING??”

Ah, but that’s what forgiveness is for.  So I can learn from my stupidity, and hopefully not keep making the same mistakes over and over and over.

There’s a lot of hidden dynamics to a problem that won’t seem to end.

Sometimes you’ll never know all the little details – and how they fit together to frustrate you.  And thwart your best efforts.

Fortunately, there’s always that ace in the hole.  That dirty grapefruit I’ve been holding – the one that’s merged with the palm of my hand – I can ask for help to release it.

Sometimes a miracle happens. And it truly is lifted and it ends; either in an instant, or in a few days.

Other times I guess I’m just not really ready to let it go.  So I go back to work, processing and programming and trying again.  Maybe there’s some hidden treasure locked up in the problem.

But I NEVER say -

• This is what I deserve.

• This is my lot in life.

• I’m destined to suffer this problem till the day I die.

Because I know that’s always coming from my ego, or some other ‘lesser’ part of me that does NOT have my best interest at heart.

Even if I was born with this problem, it is never my destiny to suffer or struggle. It’s never what I ‘deserve’.  Quite the opposite.  If the problem came in with me at birth, all the more reason why I came here to END it.

Or at the very least, MAKE MY PEACE WITH IT.

And all the more reason to ask for help.

Especially from a Higher Power.

And if I ask for the problem to be lifted, and if nothing happens, then I always come back with asking for the UNDERSTANDING of the problem.

In fact, I find myself asking for understanding more than anything else.  Because I’m usually even more willing to understand  than I am to actually end the problem.

So determine what you’re willing to have – and ask for that. Ask for what you’re willing to have.

That’s what I do.  That’s my ace in the hole.

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I put these up to remind you – anything is possible.

Norbert Rosing’s striking images of a wild polar bear coming upon
tethered sled dogs in the wilds of Canada ’s Hudson Bay.

This could get ugly. You can see the dogs barking.

What's the bear doing with its paw?

All of a sudden they're friends.

They're playing around. Don't try this at home.

Even polar bears need a good hug every now and then. Again, don't try this at home.

Did they mate? Or are they 'just friends'?

The photographer reports the polar bear returned every night for a week to play with the dogs.

It just goes to show you – anything can happen in this world.

So you may as well THING BIG.

I’ll still keep my distance from polar bears, though.  Just in case.

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But it’s been years since I’ve felt depression, or the mania that comes with it.  And I know I’ll not be feeling it any more. If by some chance mania or depression were to show up, it would not last a day.

Am I arrogant?  Or stupid?  Perhaps.  Or maybe I know something….

See,  I said I was manic depressive, but more clearly stated, a PART of me is manic depressive.  It’s not ALL of me, just a part of me.

I have many parts to my consciousness.  I have an ego, an inner child, an inner adolescent,  an inner victim, a martyr, a shame-based ‘Broken Man’, a beast of rage, a ‘limp guy’, an inner outlaw, an inner addict, a ‘negative guy’….  the list goes on and on.

But I also have many positive parts of my consciousness as well.  I have a Dreamer, a future self, a miracle maker, a magical child, a soul, a spirit, a Truer Self, a Sacred Self,  a Valued Self, a Loving Self… again, the list goes on and on.

Therefore, the bipolar guy – the Maniac (as I call him) – is really only one small part of my consciousness.

Now, he used to be a very BIG part of my life.  Most of my life, I functioned as a combination of the Maniac, the Broken Man, the inner victim, the ego, and the inner child.  With a few other parts thrown in, just for good measure.

They were driving my life.  I spent my time in the back seat, scared out of my mind, because I never knew what they would pull next.  I truly was helpless and powerless, and life was no fun.

Then I discovered the ‘emotional wellspring’.  I found out that thoughts AND feelings were constantly flowing into me.   And I found out that was the very source of my power.

Eventually I came to understand all the ways I’d been manipulating my feelings, in a failed attempt to simply feel better.  I understood the source of all emotional pain comes from restricting that natural flow of feelings.

But here’s the kicker:

Those feelings have to go somewhere.  If I deny them, if I refused to feel them myself, then some other part of me will be taking that flow.  If I refuse to be powerful, then some other part of me will claim that power.  If I won’t drive my life, then some other part of me will HAVE to.

And it will never be the positive, expansive, ‘more’ parts of me, such as the Empowered Self, the soul or the spirit.  Because they love me too much to do something like that.

So, because some part of me must take in that energy, that leaves only the wayward, ‘lesser’ parts of me.  In a sense, it’s not like my ego or Maniac has elbowed me out of the way in a mad grab for power.  Rather, I hid behind my inner child, my inner victim, and whatever other parts I’ve thrust out in front of me.

Some of those parts of me got to liking that control, though, and they ended up huddled around that emotional wellspring lapping up MY flow of feelings.  And I lose the sense of who I am.

I don’t know who I am anymore.  Am I a Broken Man?  Am I a Maniac?  Am I a victim?

Or a child?  Or a crazy, deranged ego?  I don’t know.

All I know is that I’m completely out of control.  Helpless… a victim, at the mercy and the whims of forces I don’t understand.

I don’t see the pack of hyenas circled around MY emotional wellspring.  Taking MY power and feeling what should be MY feelings.  I become like a scared child, where the world seems so big and overwhelming.

And I lose a sense of who I am, because at any time, I could be wearing the ‘mental constructs’ of a victim, or a martyr, or a beast of rage…  It’s like I wear the mental constructs of these parts of me just like I put on a certain outfit or suit of clothes.  But I don’t know how to take the clothes off at the end of the day.

And that’s the problem.  I think I’m stuck in my feelings, but really I’m stuck in the clothes of a martyr or a Maniac or an ego or an inner child.  I’m stuck in THEIR feelings.  It’s like a big bulky space suit I can’t seem to remove.  It surrounds me.  I feel trapped.

So if you find yourself in this situation, what in the world can you DO about it?

First, get a sense of the big picture.  Get a sense of what’s happened to you.  Understand how you’ve given away your power to these ‘lesser’ parts of you.

And keep in mind, this didn’t start last Tuesday.  No, patterns like this start at a very early age, when you really had little choice because you were most likely just TRYING TO SURVIVE.

When you’re hurting, you reach for any tool you have.  As a child, you have very few tools available to you.  Letting the ego run your life seems like a very efficient, workable solution to the pain.

“I can’t deal with my life, I can’t deal with this pain.”

So I’ll retreat, and let my ego take over.

That’s one possible scenario.  The bottom line is, the pattern becomes very ingrained.  To begin the healing and changing of this pattern, first really let it in.  Let these words really sink in.

“I’m not bad and wrong, I’ve just developed patterns that leave me powerless.”

Think about your own life, and what aspects of your consciousness have been running the show up till now.

Then work on taking your power back from those aspects.  It’s YOUR power.

You won’t heal it in a day, but you can START today.

I’ll probably be writing more about this in the future, but in the meantime, if you’d like to talk to me privately about this, I’m available for personal consultations.  For more information, go to -

http://www.join-the-fun.com/consult-with-me.html

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“In terms of obtaining emotional wellness, I get overwhelmed
with all the information available. I wish there was a guide
that was simple and step-by-step that would be a road map
to emotional well-being.

“This seminar, this course, this therapy, this pill, it is too
much; I call it information overload. Anyway, if you have
something you recommend, it is appreciated. Again, thank
you for the work that you do. You make a difference it
people’s lives.”

So where do you begin?

One thing to keep in mind – everyone is different and we each have distinct blockages that keep us from emotional wellness. We have our unique problems. We have our own individual demons. And what I need to feel better may not be what you need. What helps me may not help you. The seminar or course or book that I loved may mean nothing at all to you. And vice versa. What you love, I may be apathetic towards.

The second thing to remember – life is not simple. It’s very complex, in fact. Emotional problems and issues often seem a complicated mess. With good reason. They usually are!

What I teach involves unraveling and ‘breaking apart’ the big problem into many small, manageable parts. Because when a problem stays ’simple’ – it often becomes too big to get a handle on it. When you can’t get a handle on it, then it becomes overwhelming. When it becomes overwhelming, then you retreat. At this stage, when you retreat, then drugs seem more and more appealing.

So I don’t advise seeking the simple answer for these two reasons:

1. We’re all unique.

2. Emotional problems are complex. They need to be broken apart so you can deal with the parts one at a time.

Instead, I’d suggest working on your foundation. Your foundation includes a few dozen different energies that all interplay and intertwine with each other. Such as your attitudes, your beliefs, your degree of self-acceptance, your willingness, and so on.

But to START the work of strengthening your foundation, you can work with only two:

1. Your thoughts.

2. Your feelings.

(Now there’s a little simplicity for you!)

I’m going to assume you’ve read the Emotional Healing Quick Start Guide and you’re developing a new attitude – in fact, a whole new outlook – towards your emotions:

Emotions are why you live and emotions are why you die.

Emotions are the source of your power.

And yet, when misused, emotions can kill you.

Many, if not most, people in the world die a slow death from the pain of an unhealthy relationship with their emotions.

I don’t want that to happen to you.

So I always say, start by processing your thoughts and feelings. Get some cheap paper and a pen and start writing – furiously – whatever comes out. Whatever pops up. Write and write and write.

It’s the best way I know of to start developing a healthier relationship with your emotions.

But it forces you to think. And it forces you to feel. Many people don’t like that. Many people prefer to distance themselves as much as possible from what’s going on inside. Which leads to pain.

When I first started, I bought an expensive journal from the bookstore. Got a fancy pen. Wrote maybe one paragraph. Stopped. Never wrote anything else. Eventually lost the journal.

I didn’t want to bleed all over those nice white pages. I preferred to keep the pain inside. And I concluded writing out my thoughts and feelings wasn’t such a great idea after all.

That was in 1973. It took me twelve years to return to this deceptively easy but highly effective technique of self improvement. I dabbled with it for a year or two, then stopped again. I just wasn’t willing to dig deep into myself. I didn’t see the VALUE in processing.

And I still saw emotions as the enemy; as an adversary; something to avoid at all costs.

It would be another ten years before I got serious with my processing. Something clicked inside my head. I guess I finally got fed up with the constant pain. And I couldn’t find anything else that really worked.

Oh, I tried plenty of other stuff. But slick advertising does not a worthy product make. I was suckered time and again by well written ads that promised to improve my life.

“Just get up on the log… we’ll push you off.”

I’d be crazy not to buy their products. Push-button solutions. No effort on my part. No accountability. And certainly no delving into my own pain. Just surgically remove it for $19.95. No responsibility required.

I was a sucker.

I wasted so much time looking for a shortcut. I endured over two decades of emotional pain that could’ve been avoided. If only I’d had the courage to look at myself right from the beginning…. rather than trying to make some product or some other person responsible for my life.

Often times when people write me asking for help with their problems, I’ll tell them to write me all the details. Get back with me with a ‘fleshed-out’ version of exactly what their problem is.

Over half the time they never write back. So in those cases, I know they’re more interested in perpetuating the pity (or whatever else it there) rather than actually solving the problem.

Which is alright.

Everyone has the right to feel sorry for themselves. It punishes those who love you; and whoever loves you the most gets punished the most; but still, you have that right.

But what about those who do write back?

Sometimes something magical happens. If they’re sincere about wanting to improve their condition – and they do write out all the details to me – they might end up telling me they feel better just by fully ‘dimensionalizing’ the problem:

Giving it height, width, depth. Giving it dimension.

Exploring the dimensions of a problem can magically heal it.

CAN. Not WILL. But the potential is very real for healing just by doing that simple exercise.

When you want to stay in pity, however, NO WAY are you going to dimensionalize your problem. No way you’ll break it apart and analyze it and feel the feelings hiding behind and attached to your problem.

Nope, it’ll just stay an overwhelming blob of amorphous energy.

As always, the choice is up to you.

So to sum it up: I’d say no matter what the problem is, the first step involves turning to the greatest tool of self improvement – your trusty pen and cheap paper.

Even if you’ve bought – or are considering buying – some product I sell; I’d still say your best bet is to process out your situation.

My three best sellers – Forgive Yourself, Reduce Fear, and Create Your Own Reality – each provides detailed instructions on how to process. (Each with their own unique twist, depending on whether you’re trying to forgive, working to reduce fear, or choosing to create your own reality.)

But the underlying energy and purpose in each case remains the same:

To think and feel as much as you can about the problem or situation – without the pity or judgments.

And to take back your power from what’s bugging you.

Remember, the choice is always up to you.

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There are endless ways to give your power away, but the end result is always the same. Namely, you end up powerless and frustrated and resentful; and usually end up blaming someone or something for your predicament. Sometimes you blame yourself.

Because the problem is so pervasive and so common, I’m willing to bet you’ve given a good bit of your power away right now – today – to some outside force that’s out of your control.

It could be your spouse or other loved one, since we often project onto those closest to us.

It could be a co-worker, a boss, or a neighbor. Or a casual acquaintance you can’t stop thinking about.

It could be your job or some other activity you engage in.

Or it could be worldly events you only read about or watch on the news.

It could be a problem inside – a personal problem no one else even knows about. It could be depression or anxiety or shame or self pity or judgments.

Basically, it could be ANYthing.

But I’m willing to bet it’s something.

Because we all do it. Heck, I do it myself all the time. And I KNOW about this stuff! I still have to catch myself and say, “Mark! What are DOING?!!”

And it’s robbing me.

When I give my power away, it’s like I’m opening up my wallet and throwing money away.

Now, no one else is USING my power. No one’s using it against me. No one even CAN use it, unless I let them. So it’s not like I’m in danger from others when I give them my power.

Nope, it’s just wasted. Which is bad enough.

Because I’ve got things I want to do; goals I want to accomplish. Shoot, I’ve got chores to do around the house! I NEED my power.

And it frustrates the heck out of me when I catch myself giving my power away.

When I spend too much time thinking and feeling about something…

When I blame ANY body or ANY thing…

When I say I can’t do something…

When I say I can’t change until ’such-and-such’ happens…

Then I’m giving my power away.

And these are just a few of many, many examples of how we give our power away.

Okay, enough about the problem. What’s the solution?

Well, just being aware of all this can help. Why not stop for a minute right now and think about what’s bugging you, what’s keeping you up at night, what’s CAPTURED your attention?

Perhaps you’ve never given any thought to the fact you’re giving your power away to this object of your focus, but you are. And that’s NOT an indictment against you! It’s merely an observation.

See, if you can just change your perspective a little bit, you might be able to shed some new light on this issue.

Take a good hard look at HOW you’re giving your power away to this circumstance or person. Do you blame them? Are you waiting for them to change before you can change? Do you feel helpless… out of control?

The first step is to look at the ‘how’ – the specific steps or thoughts or actions you’re doing that cause your power to leak away. And admit it to yourself. Not to beat yourself up, but to honestly look at what you’re doing.

Remember, EVERY one is doing this!

It’s not just me and you.

But you and I may be the only ones to actually DO something about it. (Hey, somebody’s got to take the lead.)

So the first step is to simply hold your thoughts and feelings and actions up to the light of day. Don’t sweep what you’re doing under the rug. Be an adult. Tell yourself the truth.

Once you’ve got a handle on what you’re doing to give your power away, then you want to sit down and work on taking your power BACK. And believe me, if you could give it away, then you can take it back!

You take your power back by deliberately intending to. Find a quiet time and place when you can be with yourself. Focus on your problem or issue. Visualize it as vividly as you can. Create an image.

Now you want to encapsulate your image. Meaning, see it as ’small and manageable’. I would suggest shrinking it down to the size of a basketball or baseball. Something you could hold in your hands.

See yourself holding this image in your hands. Sense its energy. FEEL it as fully and completely as you can.

Now, forcefully say “I TAKE MY POWER BACK FROM YOU” or some similar phrase. And imagine an unseen (or even seen, for that matter) energy moving from the image into you.

That’s basically it. You may need to repeat the exercise for maximum effectiveness.

Now, is this going to end the problem? Usually not, although it is possible. Most likely, though, it will give you a new perspective, a new attitude, a new sense of what to do.

It empowers you so you’re better equipped to handle the problem. It helps you see options and solutions that were hidden from view when you had given your power away.

It can also be a very liberating experience.

The next step involves taking a ‘power reading’ of where you’re at RIGHT NOW. And I’ll be speaking a lot more about that later. It’s a wonderfully simple technique I’ve recorded onto an audio file.

(Warning: Get ready for a sales pitch here…!)

It’s one small part of the complete audio program I’ve put together, based on the e-book How To Create Your Own Reality. I’ve recorded over SIX HOURS of life-changing information onto 26 audio files, that can either be downloaded or streamed from the internet.

At first, I thought I would simply read and record the e-book, but once I started I realized I’ve learned quite a bit since I last edited the e-book, and so this is like a whole NEW edition.

I’ve recorded quite a bit of new information I’ve never talked about before, and as far as I know, no one else has ever talked about it either.

It’s almost ready, and if you’ve already ordered a copy of the e-book, then you’ll have the opportunity to buy these audio files for ONE dollar each.

The few people who’ve listened to these audio files LOVED them. I think you will too.

I’ll keep you posted as to when they’re available.

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“I’m not able to feel the emotions and consume them
like you depict. Could you give me some more insight
into how to do this??
I can feel so numb that it is enormous effort to bring
up emotion to feel and amplify it. When I do, it takes
all my concentration to blot out my thoughts just to
keep the feeling there for a few seconds before it
sinks right back down.”

I had planned on writing a simple response, but then I realized maybe you have the same (or similar) problem, so I decided to really look at this in a systematic, methodical way, to see what I could come up with.

I was shocked because of what I found.

First, because I found so many blockages inside myself, and second because I worked out such a great way to get rid of those blockages – no matter what area of my life they were in. (Note: I’ve only tried this on a couple of blockages, but I assume they’ll work for all kinds of blockages.)

You can use this info to remove blockages to love, intimacy, caring, gratitude, success, even blockages to making more money or finding the person of your dreams.

Before I reveal what I learned, I’d like to point out you don’t need to ‘amplify’ your feelings. You just want to feel what’s naturally there. (We’re already amplifying them. That’s part of the problem for many people!)

Anyway, what we’re talking about here is a blockage to feeling your feelings.

Almost all people have blockages to feeling emotions intensely, and others have blockages to feeling almost ANYthing at all.

And we also have blockages in other areas of our lives as well. So what you learn here today could apply to such things as creating a loving relationship or making more money (two common blockages.)

I always say to begin any problem by looking at your payoffs. A payoff is what you REALLY want, rather than what you often will SAY you want.

Self pity, blame, righteousness and manipulation are some common payoffs.

Here’s an example:

“I want to punish myself so severely with the slim hope
that some of the sweat from my pain and suffering will
roll off my back and somehow miraculously land near my
mother’s feet.”

Or:

“It’s never too early in the morning to blame someone
for SOMEthing.”

It sounds funny when you say it like that, but almost every human engages in one payoff or another. I cover them all, and what to do about them, in great detail in the ebook, How To Create Your Own Reality.

But lets say you truly do want to feel your feelings. You don’t see any one of those payoffs; you just want to experience a richer, fuller, more complete life.

You’re sick of missing out on all the complexity and depth – even the greater personal power – that comes with a healthier relationship with your emotions.

And yet, no matter what you do, you just can’t seem to feel what I talk about; the promise of emotional depth.

That’s when you know you have a blockage.

A blockage consists of beliefs and the other five raw materials of life that I cover completely in How To Create Your Own Reality. It’s a big tangled mess – like a huge dark chunk – or mass – held together by your own energy.

You created the blockage a long time ago as a way to keep out the pain. Generally, it’s the pain of childhood.

But now it’s become a SOURCE of pain.

Your own raw materials – your beliefs, attitudes, and so forth – have formed a blockage in your Emotional Wellspring.

And now you’ve been shut off from your own feelings. That’s what happens when you can’t feel your feelings.

If that were the only problem then it wouldn’t be so bad, because you could get to work on that blockage to end it. But we also develop a secondary blockage that keeps us from even engaging our main blockage!

See, if you could ‘get up close and personal’ with the blockage, you could begin the process of understanding and unraveling it. But because the blockage is painful – and we want to avoid pain at all costs – we actually develop a secondary blockage that keeps us from ever getting close to the source of the problem.

All we know is that we can’t feel much. Or if we do, then it’s too painful too much of the time.

The key to this mess involves first working with your secondary blockage. While you may have many different primary blockages – such as to love, intimacy, intensity, relationships, success, gratitude, etc. – each with their own unique sets of beliefs (and other raw materials) – you basically have only one secondary blockage.

That’s good news. Cause if you get rid of this secondary blockage, then you can systematically deal with each one of your primary blockages, if you choose.

So what is this secondary blockage?

Maybe it consists of imaginary fear.

(You can learn more about imaginary fear and how to end it by sending a blank email to fearintro@getresponse.com)

Anyway – I’ve got these primary blockages that pretty much set the boundaries of my life – but I’m afraid to even get next to them – so I can work with ‘em and change ‘em.

But more importantly, I don’t know what to do or where to begin.

Ironically, while you may have intense fears in your primary blockages, this secondary one has simply been unknown. The fear itself usually isn’t that intense. It’s simply a matter of avoiding the unknown.

So the first step involves ending this secondary blockage.

And you do it by your WILLINGNESS. Be willing. Be willing to face up to your main blockage.

Maybe you already are. Maybe it seems unnecessary. Like it doesn’t matter.

Here’s why it matters:

Your willingness always leads the way, regardless of what you want to accomplish. You must first be willing.

Then you choose.

THEN comes the ability.

It always starts with willingness. In this case, you must be willing to face up to the source of fear and pain; your blockage.

In life, you do and have and be what you are WILLING to do and have and be.

If you were truly willing, you’d probably already be working to overcome your blockage to emotions.

OR… maybe you’ve simply never declared your willingness:

I AM WILLING TO FACE MY BLOCKAGE TO FEELING MY FEELINGS.

I GIVE MYSELF PERMISSION TO FACE AND END MY BLOCKAGE TO FEELING MY EMOTIONS.

I GIVE MYSELF THE AUTHORITY TO FACE AND END MY BLOCKAGE TO FEELING MY EMOTIONS.

Why is it important to make these statements of willingness, permission and authority?

Keep in mind there are unknown forces at work here. There’s a lot more going on inside you than meets the eye.

It’s critical you make these affirmations – these declarations – either out loud or internally. Maybe numerous times over the next few days or weeks.

Or maybe you only need to say them once.

Either way, an ‘internal barrier’ must be broken. Otherwise, you’ll likely continue to go around in circles or stay lost in a maze or a fog.

Making these statements – with as much emotional intensity and determination as you can muster – helps you break free.

Once you’ve stepped through this secondary blockage (by your INTENTION) then it’s time to get down to business; by finding and working to end your blockage to emotions and/or emotional intensity.

Most likely your emotional blockage started at an early age; before you were 5 years old. When your subconscious mind was running the show.

And now, the core – or the root – of your blockage exists in your subconscious mind.

You can’t talk your way out of your blockage because your subconscious mind doesn’t work that way.

As you might suspect, the subconscious is the main ‘unknown force’ I spoke of a minute ago. It can be your greatest ally or your worst enemy.

It functions behind the scenes as a supercomputer, that basically runs your bodily functions, sets the patterns for your life, and follows YOUR programming.

The problem is, once the programs are set, they don’t change. Unless you know how to work with it – in IT’S language and on IT’S terms.

While I have a specific meditation that takes you to actually meet and work with your subconscious mind (as a recorded audio file you can listen to over and over) that I offer as a free bonus when you order the ebook How To Create Your Own Reality…

…here’s a few tips you can also use:

You want to find the times when your subconscious mind is paying attention to what you’re doing, then speak to it in a language it understands.

You move closer to your subconscious when you daydream, when you focus on your breath, and when you first wake up or are about to fall asleep. Or when you engage in some type of meditation.

These times offer perhaps the best opportunities to work with your subconscious, because you are altering your state of consciousness to one degree or another.

I would suggest combining all 4 of these somewhat. (Most every night before I go to sleep, I always work with either my subconscious or some other part of me. Believe me, I’ve always got something to work on!)

Removing Your Blockages

So now let me tell you how I’ve worked through some of my own blockages:

Find a comfortable position and begin to relax your body. Also, focus on your breath – so that you’re breathing slowly and deeply. It will help to relax you, and it also gets the attention of your subconscious mind since your subconscious usually controls your breathing for you.

Once you’re relaxed, you can either count from 5 to 1 with the INTENTION of entering an altered state at the count of 1; or you can simply start to daydream.

If you did have an emotional blockage – what would it look like? Let your imagination go; don’t try to force it – don’t try to control it – just let an image appear.

For me, it looks like a huge boulder maybe 10 feet high and 10 feet wide. But it could just as well be a tree, a fire, the sheer wall of a cliff; or a cloud or mist or fog. Or it could be some sort of vague nebulous energy. Or, I suppose, it could even be some sort of wild beast.

Let it be what it is. Let your subconscious show you your blockage. It could be a wall of stone or a tangled mess of thorns and briers. Let it be what it is.

It may be hazy or it may be crystal-clear. And it could appear as different images for different types of blockages.

By the way, this is similar to The Wall meditation, where I show you how to remove the wall that surrounds your heart.

The wall around your heart is one type of blockage that prevents you from feeling the DEPTH of your emotions. Once removed, it frees up a lot of emotional pain and blocked emotional energy. It also puts you in closer contact with your own heart.

The Wall meditation is also useful for showing you the exact process for entering an altered state of consciousness — to communicate more effectively with your subconscious mind.

You can find out more about it by going to –

http://www.healing-emotional-pain.com/page2.htm

Or to –

http://www.healing-emotional-pain.com/page3.htm

Anyway, the goal here is to find and visualize your blockage. It may not come right away, but it will come if you relax and give it time.

Once you’ve found it, begin to study it’s features. What color is it? What shape? How big? And why do you suppose it looks the way it does?

Spend the time to understand your blockage.

Next, (once you’re bored with just looking at it!) then move closer and closer until you can reach out and touch it. Feel the texture. Feel the warmth or coldness.

Place both hands firmly onto it.

You want to be as intimate with your blockage as you possibly can.

Once you’re ready, reach out and break off a piece of it. Hold it in your hands. Feel it’s energy. Feel it’s pain.

Now imagine yourself putting the piece into your heart.

Notice any feelings that come up.

Since blockages often form in childhood, you may sense or feel or hear or see images from your early years. You may sense particular incidents from childhood; painful episodes that helped trigger or build your blockage.

Remember, blockages form as a way to not feel pain; so the memories that come up won’t be pleasant. But neither will they be overwhelming.

You’re no longer a child; you’re a grownup. The three-foot wave that sends a child tumbling has much less impact on you now. You can stand up to it.

After you’ve broken off and absorbed that first piece, then break off a second one. You may find an entirely new set of feelings and memories with this second piece.

Hold the second piece, feeling and sensing what you can. Then place it into your heart like you did with the first one.

And give yourself PERMISSION to FEEL the memories. Be willing. Perhaps state it – either out loud or loudly inside:

I AM WILLING TO FEEL THE MEMORIES LOCKED IN MY BLOCKAGE.

I GIVE MYSELF PERMISSION TO FEEL THE ENERGY INSIDE MY BLOCKAGE.

I GIVE MYSELF THE AUTHORITY TO FEEL MY BLOCKAGE.

You don’t have to use those exact words. Just say whatever makes the most sense. And keep in mind you’re doing this for the benefit of your subconscious mind as much as for yourself.

After you’ve absorbed this second piece, systematically go through the entire blockage this way – piece by piece.

You should get a pretty good idea of when and where and how the blockage formed. If not; if you really don’t sense much or feel much or experience much of anything at all – then most likely you’re still blocking yourself from feeling the blockage.

You may need to start over from the beginning. And let it be OKAY that you need to start over! Don’t make it an excuse to beat yourself up! Some people absolutely will need to do this numerous times, no matter how badly they want it or how correctly they practice it. It just depends on how strong the blockage is, how much pain is in there, and various other factors as well.

Anyway, if you do start over, pay close attention to what you are TRULY WILLING to do.

As you say the words,”I am willing…” notice how it feels. Does it ring true? Or do you know deep inside you really aren’t willing?

With a little practice you should find the limits of your willingness.

Wherever the willingness stops – that’s where you need to focus your efforts.

That’s where your payoff lies.

Incidentally, you’ll often find snippets of your payoffs in the pieces of your blockage. Because even though the blockage exists in your subconscious mind, it’s often connected to your payoffs, which are a product of your conscious mind.

That’s why blockages are such a tangled mess; because they’re made up of both subconscious and conscious components. And why they take time to heal.

But the more you practice this technique of finding and sensing and absorbing and feeling your blockage, the sooner you can end it.

And once you reach the other side of your blockage, you’ll find a greater freedom that can propel you to a whole new level of being.

That’s why it’s worth working on.

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The basic problem lies with how we as a society view our anger and our other emotions. We’ve been taught and conditioned – almost from birth – to regard our emotions as a necessary evil, at best:

“Feel your emotions – in private – IF YOU MUST – and then hurry back to the real world and deal with your life.”

We perceive emotions as a hindrance in our ‘civilized’ society; possessing little positive value but much negative value: they make you weak; they make you look bad; they make you less clear-headed.

Well guess what? It’s true! You will be weaker, less attractive and less intelligent if you don’t have a healthy relationship with your emotions. And you’ll develop many other problems as well.

But emotions create none of those problems. Rather, the problems stem from the innumerable ways we’ve come up with to avoid feeling our feelings fully and then releasing them completely.

We’re already manipulating, controlling, and avoiding our emotions, including our anger. We don’t need any more tips on how to enhance that. We’re already doing it!

You know how to manipulate your anger. You do it practically every minute of every day, if you’re like most people in the world.

More ‘anger management tips’ are not the answer. Instead, it’s time for a fundamental shift in the relationship that exists between you and your anger.

Anger is not a necessary evil. It’s not a curse. It’s not something to be ashamed of. It doesn’t make you a bad person. And it’s definitely not a weapon or a club with which to manipulate others.

Anger – like all emotions – gives you power. Any emotion which you feel fully and cleanly – and then release completely – leaves you with more power than you had before.

All emotions can be a source of power. Just like the food you eat.

But if you don’t cleanly express your anger then it robs you of power and creates pain. And then out of necessity you go searching for anger management tips.

We end up thinking anger created the pain and problems, but really a faulty relationship based on faulty beliefs created the pain and the problems.

So the first step involves recognizing your current relationship with anger in particular, and emotions in general. How do you view your anger? Could you spend a minute or two to write it out on paper?

When working with anger your greatest ally consists of a sharp pencil and a stack of cheap paper.

First understand where you’re at right now. What defines your current relationship with anger?

Second, understand the big picture. You’ve been reacting to your anger in the ways you’ve been taught and conditioned to by society. Many well-meaning and good-intentioned people shaped and molded your relationship with your anger.

Look to your parents. Look to other influences in your world. You won’t have to search long and hard to find the formative forces in your life.

It’s not your fault – but it is your responsibility!

Third, feel the impact of your current relationship with anger. What has it done to you? What has it done to others? And what’s likely to happen if nothing changes?

Think about it – and then stop thinking and just feel. Feel it in every cell of your body. Let in the feeling of this impact.

The more you practice letting in the feelings, the more you’ll return to your natural state of being – which is to simply feel the anger – without telling yourself a story about it, so you can then let it go.

Next, forgive yourself. Forgiveness provides the space for change. Forgiveness always comes before a conscious, meaningful change in your life.

Now you’re ready for some anger healing tips. Here’s the best one I know:

First, let go of the righteousness. In other words, let go of the need to be right.

Anger problems come from the stories we tell ourselves; the stories we use to justify our anger. Basically, “I’m right and they’re wrong!”

If you’ll drop the righteousness that surrounds your anger, you’ll find the anger itself much easier to release. If you don’t let go of the righteousness, anger becomes IMPOSSIBLE to release.

So how do you let go of righteousness? Be willing.

The need to be right compares to lugging a concrete block around with you everywhere you go. The heavy cumbersome block attaches itself not with chains of steel, but with your will alone. Your willingness imprisons you, and your willingness sets you free.

Why do you need to be right? What price do you pay to be right? Now comes the time to enlist the aid of your greatest ally.

Armed with pen and paper, write out your little story of righteousness in great detail. Write with gusto and flourish. The more you articulate it, the more clearly you see it and understand it. And hopefully, find the wisdom to let it go.

You can also use your greatest ally to bleed off the static of anger that so often and so easily surrounds your body.

Have you ever noticed the static energy of anger that surrounds a person? Like a swarm of hungry gnats on a hot summer day, the anger creates frustration, irritation, even bitterness and resentment.

You can bleed off that static simply by sitting down and writing quickly – furiously – about whatever bothers you the most. You can release the irritation as if by magic. If you’re willing.

Unlike writing down your righteousness, here the key involves not thinking or planning what you’ll write. Just feel and keep the pen moving.

I used to scribble on the pages – page after page after page of furious scribbles – because I was feeling and releasing faster than words could form. And it worked wonders.

So let’s review these basic anger healing tips:

1. Healing your anger begins with understanding your current relationship with it.

2. Once you have a solid grasp of the problem, really let in the impact of your current relationship.

3. Forgive yourself for buying into the lies about anger and other emotions.

4. Practice feeling your feelings – cleanly. Give yourself permission to cleanly feel with intensity and without melodrama. Simply feel!

5. Know your little story of righteousness; all the reasons why you have the right to be angry. Of course you have the right to be angry. Everybody does. Everybody has been wronged. But it’s poison to hold onto it. Remember the concrete block analogy.

6. Use your greatest ally. Practice bleeding off the static anger by getting it out on paper. You don’t have to write our sentences or even words. Just scribbling alone will work – as long as you write with feeling.

7. Last but not least – be mindful that anger is not bad or wrong. It’s a human emotion. You’re a human. It’s only ‘bad’ if you hold onto it. Then it becomes a poison.

And remember, you get what you’re willing to have. Willingness always leads the way!

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Insecurity is rooted in faulty beliefs. It usually begins in childhood and continues as a pattern throughout a person’s lifetime… unless steps are taken to end that pattern of insecurity and replace it with a new pattern: a pattern of empowerment.

Ending emotional insecurity begins with willingness. Are you willing to change? Well that’s a silly question. Of course you are! Why else would you be reading this?

I would say the question of willingness needs to be looked at very carefully. You see, we’re already living a life out of our willingness: what we’re willing to be; willing to do; willing to have. Willingness always leads the way.

So often, people say they’re willing to change when they really have no intention at all of doing so. Instead, they’re willing to prove they had a rotten childhood, or they’re willing to feel self-pity, or they’re willing to avoid the responsibility that comes with change…

Or perhaps it’s because they truly, honestly, are only willing to believe they can’t change; they’re willing to believe they must stay in an emotionally insecure state.

If I ask the question, “Are you willing to change?” and you say you can’t change – then you haven’t really answered the question. I didn’t ask if you could change. We already know the answer to that! I asked if you were willing.

Please understand, willingness always leads the way. First, you’re willing. Then you choose. Then – THEN comes the ability.

I know it doesn’t seem that way. And I know how confronting it is to even contemplate the idea. It’s so much easier – it’s so much more comfortable – to believe I’m a victim of fate or a victim of circumstances beyond my control. Just so I’m a victim of something.

Victimhood is a pain factory. Based on faulty beliefs. One of those beliefs: “I must have the ability to change before I can be willing to change.”

If you believe that statement, then you may as well settle in for a lifetime of emotional insecurity. Because it’s a trap designed to keep you in a place of victimhood and emotional insecurity. It’s a catch-22.

The answer starts with being willing to look at some of those beliefs and assumptions you’re willing to die for.

It’s true. Many people would rather die than question their assumptions. Many people do die from this lack of questioning. Or at the very least, they live a life of needless suffering.

Here’s the key: Find your willingness! Get in touch with what you are willing to be, do and have.

“Okay, I’m not willing to stop believing I’m a victim – but I am willing to look deeper at this. I’m willing to stop hiding my head in the sand.”

Or, “I’m not yet willing to let my parents off the hook and I’m not willing to give up my pity, but I am willing to someday be willing.”

Take it one step at a time. Admit where your current willingness lies. Admit what direction it’s taking you right now. Let it in: you can change your willingness and the whole direction of your life can change.

And that includes ending emotional insecurity. Remember, emotional insecurity is simply a pattern rooted in faulty childhood beliefs. All patterns can be changed. You just have to dig out the roots. You have to change the foundation upon which the pattern stands.

When you only attack the outward form of your emotional insecurity, you’ll continue to be victimized by it. Changing the form – the physical circumstances – the symptoms – never produces the internal change inside yourself.

Without first changing inside, the outward changes are temporary and ineffective. But by changing inside, you’ll likely find your external world automatically changes – as if by magic.

Ironically, it’s so much easier to make changes inside. Rather than fighting the outside world. Here’s two great ways to start:

1. Bleed off the excess fears – quickly and easily by following the simple technique in How To Reduce Fear, Escape Anxiety, And End Panic.

2. Get to the root of the problem and end it by learning how to change limiting beliefs in the e-book How To Create Your Own Reality.

Because no matter what, you simply cannot cling tightly enough to another person to make the fear and insecurity go away.

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Two different schools of thought have emerged around emotional intelligence. One school believes the goal is to control your own emotions while simultaneously manipulating the emotions of others. I call this the ‘domination theory’ of emotional intelligence.

The other school believes the primary goal involves developing a healthy relationship with your emotions, and perhaps helping others develop a healthy relationship with their emotions as well. I call this the ‘dominion theory’. As you might imagine, I’m camping out with this second group.

Not because I’m smarter, wiser, cooler, more spiritually evolved; not because of my disdain for domination and manipulation; but because – in the long run – it’s the only way that works.

You might be able to get away with manipulating others your entire lifetime, but you won’t get away with manipulating or controlling your own emotions.

And why would you even want to? Emotions make you alive. The healthier your relationship with your emotions, the more alive you feel. The more wonderful life becomes, and the more powerful you become.

Are you powerful? Are you alive? Are you wonderful; filled with wonder?

If not, you can be. That’s the promise of true emotional intelligence.

But maybe you’re like I used to be. I would do anything to keep from feeling my emotions. Not because I was stupid or unevolved; like a dilettante. No. I avoided my emotions because I just didn’t know any better. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was supposed to manipulate and control the way I felt.

I didn’t know emotions were the source of my power. I didn’t know they were meant to flow through me; giving me energy and aliveness. And I certainly didn’t know the dangers of blocking that flow.

For example, blocking the natural flow of emotions results in fabricated, man-made, artificial, imaginary emotions. Imaginary fears, raging angers, wallows of pity and guilt, melodrama, even delusional thinking comes from manipulating the flow of emotions.

It’s like crimping a garden hose. You can hold it for a while, but the pressure quickly builds. When you’re blocking the flow, it’s easy to believe emotions are the enemy that must be eliminated.

I used to believe emotions were bad and wrong, and it almost killed me. I didn’t know any better. Nobody told me. In fact, everyone else seemed to believe as I did.

Eventually, I started thinking for myself. And I made some amazing discoveries about emotions. You might say I gained emotional intelligence, although I’d never heard of the phrase.

It’s actually kind of a misleading term, since it implies a certain amount of intelligence is required. It’s not. Remember, emotional intelligence simply refers to the degree to which you have a healthy relationship with your emotions.

It’s like physical health. You can be dumb as a box of rocks and still have excellent physical health. As long as you inherently follow the habits and patterns that promote good health.

Unfortunately, just as society has a physical health crisis, we’re also in the midst of an emotional health crisis. Very few people exhibit any degree of emotional intelligence at all.

So what does it mean to possess ‘emotional intelligence’?

Here’s my definition:

1. You can distinguish between real and imaginary feelings.

2. You use techniques to eliminate the imaginary emotions while you embrace the real ones.

3. You love and accept and embrace ALL your feelings.

4. You don’t place emotions on a hierarchy – where some are ‘good’ and others are ‘bad’.

5. You don’t seek to avoid your feelings – in fact you go out of your way to embrace them.

6. You inherently know emotions are the very source of your power in this lifetime – all emotions.

7. You take the time to release the trapped emotions from the past, because you realize your power is also trapped in that past.

8. You realize that trying to block the flow of unwanted feelings never works. There is no ’selective filter’ to block certain feelings. Instead, you feel less of ALL your feelings when you attempt to block the ones you don’t want.

9. You understand emotional pain comes from blocking or manipulating your feelings. The pain comes from crimping the hose, not from the water that passes through the hose.

10. Real emotions last only a short time – and always leave you feeling ‘more’. Fabricated emotions linger on and on and drain you of power and aliveness. They hurt you and leave you feeling ‘less’. When you possess emotional intelligence you inherently know this.

11. And finally, in my opinion, if you have emotional intelligence the last thing in the world you’ll want to do is to manipulate others.

Because you feel wonderful. Even when you’re miserable. That’s a paradox only the emotionally intelligent understand.

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I’m looking around the lounge at all my soon-to-be fellow passengers. One guy in particular stands out; a blustery, boorish man bedecked in gaudy jewelry and loud clothes.

“Ha ha. I hope I don’t sit next to that guy!” I was thinking.

Well, you know the rest of that story…

Sure enough, I end up on an aisle seat with the buffoon in the middle next to me. And the airplane’s full, so I have no chance of moving. At least he wasn’t sweaty.

I immediately constructed an imaginary wall between the two of us and by some miracle he must’ve sensed it. He starts blathering to the poor soul in the window seat. Meanwhile, I’m mentally welding some extra steel rebar to my wall. Just in case.

It’s a long flight from Florida. In spite of myself, I hear his story. He’s a high-roller in Vegas. He owns a big construction company. He loves to party. He’s big, he’s obnoxious, and he’s still not sweating. Amazing.

Eventually the guy next to the window starts melting into his seat. Right on cue, the buffoon turns to me. I guess verbally beating one man into submission wasn’t enough.

“So what do you do?”

It sounded more like a challenge than a query. I don’t know why I felt intimidated. Maybe it was due to the ease with which he breached my imaginary wall. I knew I shoulda added more rebar.

“Uh… I write about self-improvement.” I muttered; already not liking where this conversation was going.

“Self improvement?!” he sneered. “That’s all a bunch of crap. Tell me how to improve myself!”

Great. No matter what I say he’s just waiting to tear it apart. I mumbled something about feeling your feelings and being more aware of your thoughts.

“That’s it?!”

He looked incredulous. I really hadn’t given him enough to sink his teeth into, so after a few sneers (just for good measure) he wandered off into his own mind. Which, I would imagine, resembled the cold, dry, lonely Nevada desert we slowly approached.

The time seemed to drag on forever, but eventually we reached Las Vegas. My antagonist strutted away to the bright lights and glitter while I continued westward.

But my little contretemps – my embarrassing encounter – has stayed fresh in my mind ever since. I’ve spent way too much time thinking about what I ‘coulda’ said or ‘woulda’ said or ’shoulda’ said… if only I’d been prepared. If only I’d taken the time. If only…

It’s been a few years now. And if I could give my best advice, here it is.

The Top Ten Ways To Improve Yourself:

1. Process your emotions.

Get some paper. Get something to write with. Get somewhere quiet. And get to writing! Nothing compares to free-association writing when it comes to learning more about yourself. It’s fun, it’s easy, it’s free – and it really works!

For more details, review the free e-book – The Emotional Healing Quick Start Guide.

2. Question your assumptions.

The next time you find yourself with a difficult situation or problem, you might want to stop and look at your underlying assumptions. We’re so skeptical of everyone else and their assumptions, but we never stop to look at our own.

What are you assuming about your problem? What is so obvious it doesn’t need to be examined?

I can’t overstate the value of looking at your assumptions. Your life functions out of what you assume to be true. If you find your faulty assumptions and change them, your life will change. Often with little additional effort.

All problems, as well as all success, rest on your assumptions.

3. Know your story.

Everyone creates a ‘little story’ to explain why things are as they are. The little story justifies and rationalizes a mediocre life. It explains your limitations: why you’re not more successful, why life is a struggle, why you’re in pain.

Why not get out your paper and pen and write out your story of how outside influences and outside authorities have forced you to live a life below your potential?

If you’ll get it out on the table and stop hiding it, then you can get about the business of changing it.

4. Feel your feelings.

It sounds so obvious. And it is. But as a society we’ve been taught and conditioned almost from birth to block, stuff, repress, depress and manipulate our feelings.

We end up with imaginary, man-made fabricated emotions rather that real, genuine ones. Genuine emotion makes you more powerful. It enlivens and exhilarates. Imaginary emotion hurts you and limits you.

To heal, you need to feel.

5. Heal your past.

Many people live in the past because they’re using it for some hidden reason… usually to punish themselves or others.

It takes energy to keep the past alive. It makes you weaker and robs you of power.

The best way to heal your past involves forgiving yourself.

Forgiveness paves the way for change and healing. As you heal your past you become like a fountain; allowing more love, power, aliveness and self-acceptance to flow through you.

6. Release your payoffs.

The main reason we don’t get what we say we want is because of our payoffs – the secret energies we really want instead.

Examples of payoffs include self-pity, manipulation, blaming, and avoiding something. We might say we want success, when we really want to feel sorry for ourselves or blame someone for our failure. Or perhaps we want to avoid responsibility.

Payoffs come in all shapes and sizes. For more information on what they are and how to deal with them, refer to the e-book How To Create Your Own Reality

7. Embrace your responsibility.

You’re always being responsible. Or rather, some part of you must be responsible at all times.

While you’re sleeping your subconscious mind runs the show. But what about when you’re awake? Who’s in charge then? Who’s responsible for your day-to-day existence?

Who makes the choices and decisions in your life?

Most people force their ego or inner child to inner adolescent to take charge. But if you don’t know what your ego or inner child sounds like or acts like, how would you even know?

You can learn more about these different ‘aspects of you’ in the e-book How To Create Your Own Reality .

They’re also covered in the Forgiveness Manual.

8. Seek your spirituality.

Everyone has a spirituality; a relationship with their Creator. The more you seek it out, the richer your life becomes.

You don’t have to do it alone. You don’t have to be alone. In fact, you never are. From my experience, reality is only a thin veneer – an illusion. Beyond the illusion stands an infinite, divine love.

The older I get the more I realize the value of love and spirituality. I seek to make spirituality my only priority in this lifetime.

9. Build your value.

Ultimately, value comes from knowing you’re loved by your Creator. But while we’re waiting for that ‘knowing’, your personal value consists of seven parts: awareness, worth, esteem, love, confidence, respect and realization.

For an introductory look at personal value go to Build Your Personal Value .

For the complete, in-depth look at how you build your self-esteem, go to Self Esteem Secrets .

10. Enhance your mindfulness.

When I say ‘mindfulness’ I mean greater awareness of your thoughts, your feelings, and your actions.

What am I thinking? What am I feeling? What am I doing? Simply becoming more aware of what’s going on in your heart, in your head, and in your environment can lead to numerous benefits.

Mindfulness exists as an integral part of self-improvement. Maybe I should’ve listed it first, because without mindfulness it’s hard to make much progress on these other activities.

At any rate, I consider this a list of the most important actions we can engage in to improve our lives. And if I’d been more mindful myself, then maybe I would’ve thought to ask that clown on the airplane:

“Hey, if you’re so special, why are you back here in coach with us commoners? Why aren’t you flying first class?”

See how valuable it is to be mindful?

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